tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-120120132024-03-13T19:40:35.637+08:00This Is My Yard |JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.comBlogger334125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-71362999553845498822023-05-17T12:48:00.002+08:002023-05-17T12:48:55.380+08:00The Covid Week<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr8-EepMn-isqcpqc4mh90JH9tRGbPmJe3rpjNrhN1HibDLyVKMq8ejMPu_5Ayw47PGG3wHa9rfzFHjji9xx5juHvXoY6dzQzUYNtXat_7n69jk59a4V97SptvUkFijm7Vy7DSGA_GsLFwqIWIdgyzpmAhKd4Ed8FEkO1NtxOyIQWUiaxr2ic/s800/google-ai-smiley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr8-EepMn-isqcpqc4mh90JH9tRGbPmJe3rpjNrhN1HibDLyVKMq8ejMPu_5Ayw47PGG3wHa9rfzFHjji9xx5juHvXoY6dzQzUYNtXat_7n69jk59a4V97SptvUkFijm7Vy7DSGA_GsLFwqIWIdgyzpmAhKd4Ed8FEkO1NtxOyIQWUiaxr2ic/w640-h426/google-ai-smiley.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p><br /></p>Recently I have contracted the plague of our century the Covid 19 virus. After 3 years of careful threading and maneuvering, I could not avoid this round. When I tested positive, it did not scare me like I thought I would. If it was a year or two back I would have feared for my life. But this time around I took it calmly, almost like I was expecting it to happen. <p></p><p>It all started the morning when I woke up. I felt my throat was feeling really dry and spotty. I knew something was not right, I never had this level of dry-ish sore throat before. It felt weird. I immediately did a self-test and viola it was a clear double line. My immediate concern was not my health but the guilt of causing those in close contact a disruption of their work. The early symptoms hit me like a storm. The afternoon of the very same day my head started to spin then later in the evening my body started aching. Fingers, back, shoulder, and right elbow. I was suddenly cast into a dream-like state. I could not differentiate between the real world and the hallucinogenic world in my head. I continued sleeping. </p><p>Day two was slightly better, my head was still spinning but now it brought a friend the headache. By now my throat is like a rock concert. Sore and swollen. The body ache slowed down, and I woke up to try to eat something. My wife who also tested positive did not show any symptoms. She took care of me. By the evening, the fever started appearing. By now my symptoms are going into full swing. From the duet to a 3 piece band and I was anticipating a full 5 piece band coming soon. By now I started hallucinating a little at night. I woke up at 3am thinking I was talking to someone but I realized it was myself. I saw a portal-like image in my head, but I forced myself to wake up. When I woke up, I was not sure I was awakened. My head was still spinning and aching. Then I went back to sleep. It went on a cycle of 2-3 hours of waking up thinking it was real but it was a dream.</p><p>Day 3 is when the full concert begins, all the band has assembled now it was high octane heavy metal concert. My fever shot up to 39C and at the same time spinning head, sore throat, and body aches. I started to get chills and at the same time, my stool is soft. My stomach was aching and I was not sure if was it a nature call or was it just one of the aches in my entire body. My wife was trying to douse my fever with a wet towel. It helped quite a lot. However, I think by now, my body is going through the peak of the war. The fever and headache were coming and going. At a point, I felt hot and at a point, I get the chills. All the same time I was in a state where I was drifting in and out of sleep. By now I have lost my voice. I was thinking, this should be it, this is the peak. I will get better after this. I need to endure. It was chaotic, my mind and body were all over the place. The song "You spin me right round" sums this up. </p><p>Just like the movies, Day 4 was like the dawn of hope. Sunrise and the skies are blue and birds chirping. The heavy metal concert is over. It is like the after-party hangover. My headache and sore throat have simmered down. Just a lingering fever here and there and a slight tingle of soreness in my throat. I felt much better. Although I felt that I was still floating, my mind felt like the scientist in Pacific Rim after finishing drifting with the Kaiju brain. Felt surreal and unsure. Battered but better. By the end of day 4 my fever was all gone. Slight lightheadedness but it was all right. I enjoyed my first meal although my appetite was still low. </p><p>Day 5 is the renewal day. Still feeling some of the battle scars, my voice was slowly coming back. However, I still can't find that extra strength like I always do. But my wife started to have a fever and now is my turn to take care of her. Fed her and dabbed her forehead and back with a wet towel. Monitoring her temperature. </p><p>Day 6 felt as if nothing has happened. I woke up very fresh and with not a sore or ache in my body. Felt weird, it is as if life has resumed. My appetite started to get back. But I still feel lethargic, by late afternoon my energy was drained. Slept the whole evening. </p><p>Day 7 was just waiting for the home quarantine to be over. Did a self-test in the morning and it still shows two lines. However, by the evening I was cleared. </p><p>Now I am back to work. Felt surreal as if the past 7 days were a dream. Like it did not happen but it did. Maybe that is the post covid symptoms. What a week it was. <br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-50998723801833827472021-11-17T19:15:00.005+08:002021-11-17T19:17:13.249+08:00Past 2 years<p>In just a blink of an eye, we have almost completed another cycle around the sun. Weirdly I just had a back-to-back chat with my friend then my colleague and coincidently both conversations led to how time flies and what did we did the past 2 years. </p><p>My colleague was telling me how quiet and bland the last 2 years were and how these 2 years flew by just like that. And like I mentioned, coincidentally my friend was saying the same thing in another chat. How he planned for a trip at the start of last year only to be canceled due to the pandemic. </p><p>At first, I agree with them that how much these 2 years flew by, then suddenly like a bolt of lightning my mind reflected the last 2 years. I did not have a quiet 2 years. In fact, my past 2 years were rather filled with different levels of emotions. Happiness to fear, to sadness to anger. </p><p>In fact, I think the events and lessons I learned in the past 2 years really thought me something. How much we have to love and know ourselves. Why?</p><p>First, how much we need to spend more quality time with our loved ones, family and friends. I lost my uncle to cancer last year during the lockdown and I was not able to say my final farewell to him. And just like that he was gone. </p><p>That lead me to realise how little time we have with the people we love. It is never enough, every hour, every minute and every second counts. This became even more apparent when I lost my furkid this year. One moment, he was actively running around and in just a few months, his health deteriorated and then he was gone. As much time I spend with him but I realised it was never enough and I wish I had more. </p><p>Secondly, how important rest and relax is to our lives. Because of the lockdown, while stuck at home, I managed to rest more than I had over the past decade. Catching up on movies, spending quality time with loved ones and also minimal rushing helped me to reduce my anxiety. Not significantly but at least a little compared to previously. I even have some alone time to reflect and spend on my own which is very refreshing.</p><p>Third, I realised how much money I spent on unnecessary things. One is my petrol on a monthly basis. Because driving was minimal, my petrol spending dropped by the hundreds if not thousands over the last 2 years. Next is cinemas, I averagely spend so much on tickets, food and drinks per trip. Eating out is costly as well. </p><p>Fourth is that how important our health is. I had multiple scares with close contacts and every time when I get back my test results, it was a relieve. The anxiety from waiting for the results is horrendous. Hence that's why I take my health and the wellbeing of my family seriously. And to comply to the SOP. </p><p>Fifth, I realise how unreasonable or overbearing some people are. Basic things like not going out for a gathering or wearing a mask become a heated conversation. This leads me to understand and accept that everyone is different and that they have their own opinion and thoughts as well. Which helps me to be less annoyed and angry. They can say what they want and I will just tell myself "that is their point, good for them" and move on.</p><p>So I would not say that my last 2 years were uneventful, it was just different and educational. </p><p><br /></p>JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-44560154178634172942021-08-22T16:51:00.050+08:002021-08-22T17:09:22.922+08:00I think I am having a burnout<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx7rm6VjAlY_sxh1r1y61X-KumMqGCT8ujsihIwiAkA4ZTXFMWGp6EGsY7-b8aB15jIbi3EH3EBJxfjS4azIHAIF4wQs0Ctnumu21Womtlj7eIs5-P7gQWlL8q07ADs5Uo354eQQ/s1600/2020-10-19_XL_understanding-burnout-culture-10-ways-leaders-can-improve-workp.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx7rm6VjAlY_sxh1r1y61X-KumMqGCT8ujsihIwiAkA4ZTXFMWGp6EGsY7-b8aB15jIbi3EH3EBJxfjS4azIHAIF4wQs0Ctnumu21Womtlj7eIs5-P7gQWlL8q07ADs5Uo354eQQ/w463-h232/2020-10-19_XL_understanding-burnout-culture-10-ways-leaders-can-improve-workp.jpg" width="463" /></a></div><br /><div>What is burnout? Burnout as stated in helpguide.org shared "is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands".</div><div><br /></div><div>I have to say every now and then I have gone through burnout. My most recent one is the past few months. </div><div><br /></div><div>Well, the last couple of years have taken everyone around the world for quite a ride. I know I have been on quite a ride. Emotionally it has been quite draining. </div><div><br /></div><div>On a personal level, there was a multitude of situations over the last 2 years that drains the life and energy out of me. Emotionally, physically and mentally draining. From having my plan scuppered to heading to a career direction that is not to my preference. From the loss of loved ones to unforeseen conflict and the frustration of the ongoing fracas on the political and governmental level. </div><div><br /></div><div>Being unable to move around or to have a good break has also taken its toll on most of us. </div><div><br /></div><div>Without realizing it, I have reached to a point where I am burnout, physically and mentally. What triggered me is when a friend of mine asked what had happened to me, what happened to that passionate person he once knew. That prompted me to read up and looked up some of my symptoms, and then this video came along.</div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://youtube.com/embed/MLuJ249WnkE" width="480"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>It was then I realized that it happened gradually and without realizing it, I was digging into a trench deeper and deeper. I have to snap out of it. I was lucky my friend was blunt enough to shoot straight at me.</div><div><br /></div><div>As much as I reminded my mantra from this article I wrote previously <a href="https://junsern.blogspot.com/2021/02/the-path-of-self-actualization-and.html" target="_blank">here</a>, I guess sometimes we need someone from the outside to help snap us out of it. It can happen even to the best of us. </div><div><br /></div><div>I guess I really needed a short break and a breather. But for now it is still a long shot as we are all stuck at home. Till the moment we can travel out, I guess I will just have to manage! </div><div><br /></div><div>Plus, now I can add one more line to my mantra and that is to find a friend who don't mind whacking you back in line! hahaha. I learn something new again!</div><div><br /></div><div>If you have gone through similar situations, feel free to share what did you do to survive the burnout.</div>JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-88805704286909070112021-03-14T18:48:00.024+08:002021-03-15T18:53:13.618+08:00A tribute to my furkid - The Chopa Story<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWXAvfDMIDuHxG_eUg5FESWQ_1rCDnpKbagptovn8sLU_MFUE6xNqCwdmXFPrf7iQJc0Ggyew4oyUgnewsoOTa_S1gqeEcvqvIE3xxoByjNSXQoka4dxCK4wRy20j-ZZ04paJTNw/s2048/20200511_091458+%25281%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1275" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWXAvfDMIDuHxG_eUg5FESWQ_1rCDnpKbagptovn8sLU_MFUE6xNqCwdmXFPrf7iQJc0Ggyew4oyUgnewsoOTa_S1gqeEcvqvIE3xxoByjNSXQoka4dxCK4wRy20j-ZZ04paJTNw/w398-h640/20200511_091458+%25281%2529.jpg" width="398" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">This is the story of my kid, Chopa. It was back in December 2018 that my sister shared with me that there was a litter of puppies up for adoption. They were abandoned somewhere and were picked up by a local pet clinic. The picture was sent to us and immediately we fell in love with the little pups. All the pups were adopted except 2. One was a female and another male. They were a mixed breed of sorts and we felt there was some labrador blood in them. They had silky black fur and a tinge of white on their chest. </div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLtCP28jfsjPJYlSNfFVxLtT4CMgnSHlrcqZbgmOWJTReDaASUpk7YVM5t8mosLMn6Y8TofPIM82-zw4LdxvdYa_theusSXVdSy8KTezkvVNOXb_OV3_mAg-TGq87gAZv8Z3opUw/s2048/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1152" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLtCP28jfsjPJYlSNfFVxLtT4CMgnSHlrcqZbgmOWJTReDaASUpk7YVM5t8mosLMn6Y8TofPIM82-zw4LdxvdYa_theusSXVdSy8KTezkvVNOXb_OV3_mAg-TGq87gAZv8Z3opUw/s320/1.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Day 1 with us</i></span></td></tr></tbody></table></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So after a discussion with my wife and sister, we decided to take one of them in. Initially, we wanted to adopt the female but my sister's friend said that when they were there, they felt that they had a connection with the gal. So we decided to take in the male, well, we were ready to take in either one of them. So on the 1st of January 2019, we got him home. He was a scrawny little fella, he was around 3-4 four months old and was a really shy boy. So much so that, he was facing the wall most of the time trying to hide his face on his first few days. My wife, my sister, and I are One Piece fans and we felt that he reminds us of one of the characters in the anime named Chopa. Hence we decided to name him after that character. The character was one that was kind-hearted, timid but fiercely loyal. Which, suits him perfectly. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVKj3vDFbRlHvVB3uCk8vp_Yax5gWylrWfu7MvLEd7bpWH7LmknU4s5yIcjTxuXyd3QOfngqkJo_rzNhtw5mcp1L-uqmiBXu8Ap_BwIVxl16jQUNyyX4YchxmXMVmn5tDXFnuW3w/s1280/maxresdefault.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVKj3vDFbRlHvVB3uCk8vp_Yax5gWylrWfu7MvLEd7bpWH7LmknU4s5yIcjTxuXyd3QOfngqkJo_rzNhtw5mcp1L-uqmiBXu8Ap_BwIVxl16jQUNyyX4YchxmXMVmn5tDXFnuW3w/w400-h225/maxresdefault.jpg" title="Tony Tony Chopa from One Piece" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Tony Tony Chopa from One Piece anime</span></i></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The first few weeks he was really shy, we would put his food outside of his cage and he would take a small bite and run back to his cage to nibble. We would always try to sit near him to let him know that we are here for him and we are his family. We tried to hand feed him his meals at times to introduce us to him. Then after about 2 weeks, we succeeded to get him to come out and play with his toy with us. Slowly he warmed up to us. Fast forward to a month later he had his first bark. It was not those squeaky puppy bark but a nice glorious BARK! We were so happy because that was the first time we heard him bark. It was then we knew he broke from his shyness and accepted us as his own family. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK7tnow8-JlXJslaRxKds0QvmpZvvHXnnlCdKsG-MPmYtjJtWoFZg1YRZnaQTAmOSbVhfvLVYF7YTWbBc6D2eE7wUUG_b93CzHPHEFCzVTuQ9ETjPvn4JZ4044SKDXUHvUTCGZZw/s2048/2.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK7tnow8-JlXJslaRxKds0QvmpZvvHXnnlCdKsG-MPmYtjJtWoFZg1YRZnaQTAmOSbVhfvLVYF7YTWbBc6D2eE7wUUG_b93CzHPHEFCzVTuQ9ETjPvn4JZ4044SKDXUHvUTCGZZw/s320/2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Started warming up and cuddling with me</i></span></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">By then, every morning he would start to greet me when I came out and in the evening he would run to the gate when he sees my car. He would wag his tail furiously with a smile. That always melt all my stress away when I got home. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvzx39JCE7pYrnMyLbhHFbSfP6In-T1k2CeFd7KwYCjeL1t0ouLdwFbx3m2rXs4D3ZX0g6GmvPehFXqX_tlH0UZGA8VWznPAPrTnty1tA06qgQPSLHArjkpw56CXXwunRC5QJQqA/s2048/3.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1152" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvzx39JCE7pYrnMyLbhHFbSfP6In-T1k2CeFd7KwYCjeL1t0ouLdwFbx3m2rXs4D3ZX0g6GmvPehFXqX_tlH0UZGA8VWznPAPrTnty1tA06qgQPSLHArjkpw56CXXwunRC5QJQqA/w180-h311/3.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>His very first smile at me when I got home</i></span></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Naturally, he is still that shy boy, it was noticeable when we bring him out to events or parks. He was basically like me, an introvert. He loves being in his comfort areas or he will just stick to people he was close with. He always has his little corner at the house that he would go to till his last days. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">At times when I was stressed from work or had a bad day and when I got home, he would always sit next to me and listen to me. Somehow it seems like he understands me, he would lick my hands and rub his head on my legs as if trying to comfort me. He would look at me and give me a smile and at times invite me to play. It as if he wants me to just let go of my stress and play with him. He would lie down and wiggle and I knew he wants me to tickle him and give him his belly rub. I remember once after work and I was really down and he came and comfort me... I looked at him and wondered, I can't imagine if you were gone. Who is going to listen to me and comfort me...? I dare not imagine that day to happen.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfMNP9G0kgEEeRjRDQeF8RPqTN64lmnOQi9uAhJHNb6MZWv5oCU4Lh-QFJKo4mbAx4xa5BmYW0KHNiXtfYQCFo6gzQwhFrgHoUfKlbqSx2z2ZovSiNw0hy_OHT_HYZuS1bsctkDg/s2048/5.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfMNP9G0kgEEeRjRDQeF8RPqTN64lmnOQi9uAhJHNb6MZWv5oCU4Lh-QFJKo4mbAx4xa5BmYW0KHNiXtfYQCFo6gzQwhFrgHoUfKlbqSx2z2ZovSiNw0hy_OHT_HYZuS1bsctkDg/s320/5.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">My daily morning kiss</span></i></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">One thing about him is that he was not one of those overly enthusiastic or hyper dogs. He will be active at times and does his 400m dash as my mom always calls it but most of the time, we will sit or lie calmly next to me or my wife and take his nap. Every now and then he will wake up and gives us a kiss.. well a few licks and then goes back to his nap. As if to check if we are still there. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">His timid and calm nature naturally gives all of us at home a sense of calm. My mom who has a slight fear of dogs due to previous experiences started to warm up to him, so much so it changed her perception towards dogs. Even my neighbors fell in love with this little fella. The vet who treated him told us he is one of the easiest ones to handle. During checkups or his vaccinations, he would just sit there quietly and calmly. Unlike some others who will squeal or bark or howl. He just took it calmly. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Like I mentioned, he was a timid guy and during the festive season, we would bring him to sit next to us because of the loud fireworks. He would try to hide under me or my wife's legs and after a while, he would sleep knowing that he is safe and secure. To the extent we automatically knew that he would be scared and will bring him in to sit with us during the festive eve.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH_chUdo8B7xujvri_3W5SlzhunuoIPNHECO8DQcn_yLqb8JinFUPac8s0wBS81JWiTMgbJr12RD5DR2HeDcRG7dieoL0ya-CJQy6RO_y2QoQE1jiT-Trywep5MvvvQ3YbOMfsNw/s2048/4.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH_chUdo8B7xujvri_3W5SlzhunuoIPNHECO8DQcn_yLqb8JinFUPac8s0wBS81JWiTMgbJr12RD5DR2HeDcRG7dieoL0ya-CJQy6RO_y2QoQE1jiT-Trywep5MvvvQ3YbOMfsNw/w320-h240/4.jpg" title="Him hiding from the fireworks" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>His first Hari Raya eve</i></span></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Now about 1 year ago he had a tick problem. We manage to solve the problem and everything went to normal. I've always heard that it is normal for dogs to catch tick issues. In fact, some dogs have it a few times in their lifetime. So I thought it was ok. But not for my kid. 6 months ago things started to go wrong. First, we noticed some red spots on his belly. Initially, we thought was a rash or an insect bite. We brought him to the vet and they tried giving him some cream. But a week later the spots came back. The vet felt it was not right because it started to look like small hemorrhages. They took his blood samples and found out that his platelet has dropped to almost zero. We asked what was the cause and the vet shared that it was possibly caused by the tick fever. The virus caused his body's immune system to go haywire and started attacking itself. The doctors were trying their best to figure out the root of the problem. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Things started to get worse when the hemorrhaging gotten bigger and our clinic told us to better go to a hospital for a further check as they have more complete facilities. It was since then we were going in and out of the hospital every 2-3 weeks and the vet at UPM was also trying very hard to solve the problem but the problem kept persist. His platelet will always fluctuate every visit, one week high, one week low. It was also puzzling for the doctors. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">After a few months, in December, my boy started to feel lethargic and started to have blisters on his back. He started bloating as well. We were trying very hard to be hopeful that this is just a phase and things will get better. He was still his usual self but his fur was shedding and his blister became worse. Yet he still does his usual of sitting next to me and getting excited when seeing me in the morning or when I come back from work. But something felt different, he was not as agile or active as he used to and he would always just lie down. I feel his exhaustion at times. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">By now we were a little worried, we tried spending as much time with him but most of the time he would just sleep or hide in his favorite corner. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It was until last week we noticed that he didn't look too well. He started to lose his appetite and he looked like he was having difficulty breathing. We immediately called his vet and we were told to bring him in immediately, one week earlier than our scheduled appointment. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">We were informed that he has to be moved to the ICU and 3 days later on Friday, the hospital called and asked us to go there urgently. I dropped everything and quickly rushed to the hospital. On my way there I told myself, oh god my kid is dying. Please let this not be true... please please, please. My hands were constantly trembling and the journey to the hospital seems to take forever. I wanted to be there for him as we know he is always very timid and loves to be with us during times when he was scared. With all the strangers I know he will be scared, I just want to be there for him like I always do, but the drive there seems to take forever!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">When we reached the hospital what we saw struck my heart so painfully. He was on double oxygen and a puffy blanket to keep him warm. The doctor told us that his situation is very critical as his liver has started to shut down and his lungs have most probably going to go next. They diagnosed him to have Cushing Syndrome, a hormone disorder. Basically his hormones have gone upside down. We were asked to make a decision. It was the hardest decision we have to make. Signing the papers was even harder. It was just so hard... </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">We went close to him gave him a pet, a big hug, and a kiss. He opened his tired eyes, tried turning his head, and gave us his usual lick but it was so weak. He drifted back into his sleep and we could see he was struggling to breathe. His blood pressure was very low and his oxygen is low. As the doctor was administering the jab he opened his eyes one last time knowing that it would be his last time to see us. We knew he didn't want to go... I knew he was scared... but... a moment later... he... was... gone... forever...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">my heart shattered to a million pieces...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">My child, my boy, my son, Chopa was gone. He was just 2 years old. Too young to suffer this and too young to go.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Perhaps God loves him so much that he took him back to heaven because he was an angel. He was our angel. He saved us so many times... and we know that now he is at peace and not suffering anymore. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I will always miss you and love you, my child... goodbye... and thank you!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">RIP Chopa</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE_Z5TI1AKq6s_jkUI9RTeyELyJDKiwsDROVt8VXWW8eM7u5B0pEPAaruEpWx-aLM2NRbPOo6LYO-TZcE0QpxTUTfPzL11i0XoxYKYW0BSRHglAF7es92g1AWo89xH34aMx6Oizw/s2048/6.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1152" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE_Z5TI1AKq6s_jkUI9RTeyELyJDKiwsDROVt8VXWW8eM7u5B0pEPAaruEpWx-aLM2NRbPOo6LYO-TZcE0QpxTUTfPzL11i0XoxYKYW0BSRHglAF7es92g1AWo89xH34aMx6Oizw/w360-h640/6.jpg" width="360" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(*I have decided not to post his later photos as I want to remember him when he was at his healthiest)</span></i></div>JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-23209444543811580832021-02-24T19:08:00.056+08:002021-03-03T14:06:25.404+08:00The Path of Self Actualization and Realization<p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLyWByRAKgTDFKvdONxPZbB3yS0QtzNSlszPluiPYk_VDCMId13pn_U3D5mnJMqIW9lnM7WI10pm6t4H2-MJYD2T8Z6zqQAHC_A1Bl-Prxqh4atG0C9TVwb0RkfVjMFQQ-GeHFOA/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="879" data-original-width="1393" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLyWByRAKgTDFKvdONxPZbB3yS0QtzNSlszPluiPYk_VDCMId13pn_U3D5mnJMqIW9lnM7WI10pm6t4H2-MJYD2T8Z6zqQAHC_A1Bl-Prxqh4atG0C9TVwb0RkfVjMFQQ-GeHFOA/w400-h253/image.png" width="400" /></a></div>Recently I came across a few articles and videos that triggered me to think deeper about myself as a person. I would say that this is NOT an academic point of view but just what I have gathered and observed throughout my life. <p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">All my life I have always asked myself or my parent lots of questions about life. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">"Why are some people smarter?"</p><p style="text-align: justify;">"How come some can be so successful?"</p><p style="text-align: justify;">"What they do that I didn't that made them reach that level?"</p><p style="text-align: justify;">and many more questions which my dad will just say, "You are you. You walk your own road"</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Until today, oftentimes I let all these thoughts intoxicate me. To a certain point where it truly affected my view on my own life. I started asking questions about myself and my value as an individual towards society. I have friends who started on the same level as me in school and are now more "successful". But what is success? what is the definition of success? More money? Big house? More kids? A higher position in the corporate world? Bigger cars? Traveled more? Success is defined by myself. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Recently, these questions popped up again and I was trying to find the answer and it was really dragging me deeper and deeper to a certain extent I felt I was drowning. I was hanging on too much to my past and worrying too much about my future. Focusing on too many things just did not make me happy and neglecting what I already have at the present.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Then after going through some articles and some videos only to be reminded that I always have the answer in me all the time. In fact, I was doing it every now and then but not at one go and not conscious about it entirely. But now I thought, what the heck I shall just write it down in here so that if by chance you read it, it can help you. Here are some of the values I knew but forgotten to practice:</p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="text-align: justify;">Count your blessings - focusing on what you have</span></li><li><span style="text-align: justify;">Be grateful and appreciative</span></li><li><span style="text-align: justify;">Accept people for who they are and what they do and what they say. Everyone is different and have their own point of view</span></li><li><span style="text-align: justify;">Forgive </span></li><li><span style="text-align: justify;">Learn to let go/move-on</span></li><li><span style="text-align: justify;">Focus on the present</span></li><li><span style="text-align: justify;">Focus on the positive things and acknowledge the negative things. </span></li><li><span style="text-align: justify;">Run your own race</span></li><li><span style="text-align: justify;">Don't take things personally</span></li><li><span style="text-align: justify;">Let go of your pride and ego</span></li><li><span style="text-align: justify;">Empathize. Just like no.3. Try looking from their perspective</span></li><li><span style="text-align: justify;">Nothing is permanent, whether it is good or bad moments</span></li></ol><div style="text-align: justify;">It is only recently I decided to take a short time off and did a self-reflection only to remember those 12 values. Not trying to sound too cliche but I really felt a huge burden lifted. My mind suddenly became clearer and my smile came back. I am focused on my goals and also I am happy with myself again.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">As I mention earlier, I write this is not just to share but also to remind myself once again if I lost my way in the future. To remind myself that there is always a better way to look at things. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">To end this post, here is one of the videos that I find really interesting. It helped me and I hope it can help you too.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Cheers! </div><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://youtube.com/embed/4-079YIasck" width="480"></iframe></p>JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-34803831250835057262021-01-20T12:14:00.000+08:002021-01-20T12:14:03.650+08:00Anxious about Anxiety<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOko2ejLXL9dFeJLDfjdgLO1NwP9S4VqUYENeJFFU4eRYsxHULbJlzTknCWEjGXWTr1mJY-nh72XGOMrNIIR-C9c7xKNcAxIX7Q1i60lVtnNlI3mNWnGtms7HiMPaA5h0DGXoxRQ/s1080/anx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOko2ejLXL9dFeJLDfjdgLO1NwP9S4VqUYENeJFFU4eRYsxHULbJlzTknCWEjGXWTr1mJY-nh72XGOMrNIIR-C9c7xKNcAxIX7Q1i60lVtnNlI3mNWnGtms7HiMPaA5h0DGXoxRQ/s320/anx.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: justify;">Feeling anxious is nothing uncommon among everyone. It is a condition where you feel stress, fear, or worry about something. Whether it is about finances, loved ones, or that task that is unfinished. In the more extreme cases, it causes panic attacks or anxiety attacks. Your palms get sweaty, your chest tightens and at times you feel lethargic. Why I am saying this is because I am one of those who suffered from this. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">I am always envious of those who can keep themselves so calm when things get hairy. At times I wonder how do they do it? Especially during times like this. At one corner you are worried about the pandemic and the other the challenge at work. I asked around and some of the suggestions are a hit or miss. I thought maybe different people react to a different approach. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">The reason why I am writing this is that I had an anxiety problem as well. What happened to me was due to multiple issues congregating at the same time. Some have been brewing and some new and sudden. It all started with that usual uneasy feeling in my guts, some would say butterflies in the stomach. Soon after the butterflies turned into an anaconda. I was in full anxiety mode; my palms are sweaty, my chest felt heavy, loss of appetite, could not sleep and I get all jittery when my phone buzzes. I was worried that this will take a toll on me. This was not the first time I felt like this. That feeling of helplessness, lost, and in no control of the situation. I needed help because I knew where it was heading.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">I looked around for articles that talk about solving this problem but somehow most of it are very generic. Find the stressor, deep breaths, exercise, or change my thinking. Like I mentioned, some are hit and some are a miss. Yet I still feel anxious. Then I spoke to my wife and asked how did she manage everything and she shared some very interesting words of wisdom which, I want to share with you. She told me this:</p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;">Let go of your ego and pride. We are stress because we are trying our very best to impress everyone except for ourselves. We need to prove to people that you are good at what you are doing and that you are always right. If you are wrong, apologize and move on. Stop focusing on what others are thinking of you. In other words, don't care what others think about you. You do you and do it right for you. This she said would be one of the hardest to let go but we have to as most stresses and problems around the world start from ego and pride.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Focus on the task and do it well. Even if it is the most menial task, focus on it do it well. Eventually, you will get a bigger task. If you excel in what task is given to you, eventually the universe will reward you in different ways.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Do not expect praise or reward when you do your work well. Do the best you can so that by the end of the day you yourself will feel satisfied with your work.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Do better. Always try to learn from what you have done and try to do better than your previous self. In other words, try to improve and learn. This fourth point is the accumulation of all 3 points above. </li></ol><div style="text-align: justify;">Here are the other things that I used to help me as well during some of my minor anxiety attacks:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><ol><li style="text-align: justify;">Seek clarification. If you are worried about an issue, best to ask for clarification. I had some issues at work and I seek help from my superiors. I realized once they have clarified, that cloud and uncertainty are cleared and my anxiety subsides.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Tell yourself that any complaints are on the task or job and not you. If we look at it that way then you won't feel personally being attacked. Is like how someone is hitting the room and not you in it. </li><li style="text-align: justify;">Look up to the skies. I always look up into the skies at night and look at the stars. It will make my problem insignificant as there are many bigger issues up there compared to mine. </li><li style="text-align: justify;">Talk it out. Find a friend or family member and vent it out. Sometimes it helps if the issue is shared with someone. Of course, do find someone who is not in a negative state of mind then it will just multiply the problem.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Just take a break. Stop what you are doing, take a few good deep breaths and walk around. Maybe get a cup of drink or munch on something crispy or crunchy. It helps. </li><li style="text-align: justify;">Focus on the present. In the words of Saitama from One Punch Man, "I will leave tomorrow's me to solve tomorrow's problem". I think this rings true, I always tell myself, "Is there anything I can do now? Is it stopping me from doing what I am doing now?" if it is not, then we should just enjoy the present.</li></ol></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I realized we will always grow along the way and managing my anxiety is a learning path that I have to take. There are times that I can't think through so I lower down my pride and ego and seek help from people around me. Sometimes we will get good advice from people we didn't know have it. All we need to do is ask. I am still learning and as I learn, I will try to share with everyone all the good stuff.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Before I sign off, I would like to share one video I came across that manages to help me in the office. At times I will just find a quiet place, sit down, plug on my headphones, and listen to this when I am anxious:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://youtube.com/embed/O-6f5wQXSu8" width="480"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">This really helped me and I really hope that it will help you too. </div><p></p><p><br /></p>JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-71906048905540287802021-01-14T19:57:00.001+08:002021-01-14T19:59:34.441+08:00Querulous World<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpId5hvtB0iwHvSm4Bu_JJuDaOYK1psGOkT3A5BRhnyxcm8wmPdp-mVz8O7TlprgIDyQ8_6YSbhDwCPLQkWHgQwVKy8NsZXzeoXU2xQd1B2kCYfaXTV23VUKSn0JPyu1Jk73fIuA/s1880/pexels-photo-987585.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1253" data-original-width="1880" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpId5hvtB0iwHvSm4Bu_JJuDaOYK1psGOkT3A5BRhnyxcm8wmPdp-mVz8O7TlprgIDyQ8_6YSbhDwCPLQkWHgQwVKy8NsZXzeoXU2xQd1B2kCYfaXTV23VUKSn0JPyu1Jk73fIuA/s320/pexels-photo-987585.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">I don't know about you but I have recently realized that lots of people around me are complaining more than they are praising. Why is that so I wonder? </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Is it because we are exposed to too many things that now nothing satisfies us?</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Or could it be that because everyone is doing it that we need to stand out more and make a stronger complaint?</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Or could it be because we are now generally just a bunch of whiney people?</p><p style="text-align: justify;">I remember once I went to Friday's and after our meal, my wife and I, decided to call the manager. We told the manager that we were very happy with the waiter's service. The manager then proceeds to call the waiter, the look on his face was of fear and puzzled. I am sure he thought we are complaining about him but little did he know we were praising him. One interesting thing about Fridays is that if a waiter gets praised by a client, all the other waiters will cheer and we the client will be given a badge to be pinned on our waiter's vest. To be honest, my wife and I were shocked as well. We thought we just wanted to praise him but we didn't expect it to be such a show. The look of the waiter's face was something that I could not forget, from fear to almost in tears. That incident thought me one thing that I felt was lost for a long time within myself. Is that we complain too easily and cheaply and we very rarely praise. I can't imagine how much more motivated the waiter will be and how it will influence the approach others will be. One thing I know, I love to be praised as well. Who doesn't?</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Praising uplifts and motivates and just like anything else, over-praising will dilute everything. But I feel that we have to change our approach and learn the be thankful at least a little. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">This pandemic I feel brought the best and the worse of us. Social media has become even more toxic than it has ever been. How a comment or a status can brew so much hatred. At times an innocent status can be turned into something so toxic just because one person decided that comment his or her demented view on it. A good example is a recent post by Man Utd striker Edinson Cavani. Where he replied to his friend's comment with something commonly said in his native country which is harmless and no ill intentions or racist. It was skewed until that message looked and sounds racist. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Have we become so negative that we can't say anything nice anymore? Have we become so sensitive that now anything said or posted by others may always have a negative agenda? </p><p style="text-align: justify;">In fact, I came across some people and I am sure you have too, that have to complain about everything. Somehow they will find something to complain about.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><i>"The room is too hot" </i></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><i>(installs aircond) </i></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><i>"The air cond is too noisy, the stairs are not designed properly and why is the sun so glaring?!"</i></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><i>(wtf?!)</i></p><p style="text-align: justify;">That is just an example of a similar scenario I managed to witness. Of course, I changed some of the content but you get the gist of it. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">How do we change? we have to change our chain of thought. Start by being grateful for the basic things that we have like being thankful for having a clean cup of water or have food on my table daily. My personal way to be grateful is that I am able to walk and breathe well, thanks to <a href="https://junsern.blogspot.com/2018/07/its-been-more-than-year.html" target="_blank">this incident</a> I went through. Start with smaller things and gradually be thankful for the bigger things. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Secondly, avoid feeding your brain with negative toxic status, comments, or posts on social media. The moment I see a complaint post by my friend, I will just scroll through. It is funny how sometimes when I see the post I knew immediately who the person that posted it. I'm sure you see it too on your social media. Just scroll through, unless it is something life-threatening then please reach out to your friend! </p><p style="text-align: justify;">End of the day, I am not saying to eliminate complaints but to have a good balance and try to have more gratefulness/praise than complaints. See how things start to change when you change your mindset. You will feel better as well and you will attract like-minded people as well. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Try it...</p><p><br /></p><p><span style="color: red;"><i> Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”</i></span></p><p><span style="color: red;">—Oprah Winfrey</span></p><p><br /></p>JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-83169912286800710702021-01-10T08:00:00.007+08:002021-01-14T18:54:38.460+08:00Trying to Stay Alive During My Mid Life<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_4La96C76tcSlBoDcibrgn3-KoszXoT5j1LldkeF1b-gLTqnGKZp1x2ga18gVrTfjmT3y3W7cfGNRN2modn3PlmBgIDYE1u_LnXEdKQNvMyQJH_K5cFoRma4JqA-nJ6Bj-FgTiQ/s235/ml.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="235" data-original-width="235" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_4La96C76tcSlBoDcibrgn3-KoszXoT5j1LldkeF1b-gLTqnGKZp1x2ga18gVrTfjmT3y3W7cfGNRN2modn3PlmBgIDYE1u_LnXEdKQNvMyQJH_K5cFoRma4JqA-nJ6Bj-FgTiQ/w400-h400/ml.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So I have now reached the age where I think I can be considered as mid-life. Am I in a crisis? I don't know. Things that used to be blurred are now clear, and things that used to be clear are now blurred. I often come across this line "mid-life crisis" back when I was younger and what was portrayed are always people who decided to get a damn nice new car or have a fling or go on a spending spree.</div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Me? I can't afford it! I can't afford to have a mid-life crisis. I can't buy a new car or a house or take a long expensive trip overseas (not that we can travel now as well). So, can I say that I have a "mid-life-crisis" crisis? </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Well looking at it, people of our generation are not maturing as much as our parent's era or our grand parent's era. Heck, we even look more youthful and vibrant than our parents at the same age. Maybe it is the lifestyle and dressing. We don't dress as formal as our parents do. We are more casual. Maybe society as a whole grew younger. My mom doesn't look like my grandma at the same age. When my grandma was the same age as my mom, she looks way older. So yes maybe it's the lifestyle. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">I am still gaming, via console, mobile, or PC. I still watch movies and animes. I still enjoy my fast-food and most importantly, I still try to joke around. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">But one thing I know that constantly pulls me back to the "age reality" is my health. Once I hit my 30s, boy, did everything I did in my 20s caught up. Now that I am near my 40s, the catching up is almost complete. My heart will be like "LET'S GO PLAY BASKETBALL!" and my mind, together with my now iron-plated spine, stand side-by-side and in unison saying "NO! YOU CRAZY AH?!". Well, the majority wins I guess. So I sit my fat ass down and continue with my mid-life-crisis crisis and play my mobile game while guiltily munch on my snacks. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">As we know the Coronavirus pandemic recently exploded into the scene. I have to say it came at a timely moment. I can't imagine if it happened 15-20 years ago. I would have been so <strike>bored</strike> much smarter, haha. There were no smartphones back then or Netflix. Only a super slow internet connection, my books, and the snake game on my handphone. Somehow you will start reading the book as there won't be anything else to do during the lockdown. But it happened at his age. Right at the start of my mid-life-crisis crisis. So I <strike>prolonged</strike> delayed the start of the crisis by working from home, catching up with all the animes that I could not <strike>download</strike> watch back then due to the super slow internet, and playing my mobile and PC games. In other words, this made the mid-life-crisis crisis even more worse as now I am becoming a mid-life crisis couch potato by force. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">But hey! I get to catch up with some of the things I missed about my youth, and also I get to reflect and maybe dig myself out of this mid-life-crisis crisis and upgrade myself back to mid-life-crisis mode proper. Perhaps all the plans that I was supposed to start rolling in 2020 (flying cars and stuff) can slowly begin to fail so I can properly go into my crisis. You know, buy me a new gaming PC with the excuse that I will start my side hustle... wait, I already did that. Geez, thank you pandemic, now my super-fast PC is being used for anime. Well, maybe I should just follow the age-old buy a supercar and regret after my first super expensive service. Perhaps... perhaps...</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Well jokes aside, I am grateful to be still alive and kicking (barely) as I approach my mid-life. So far so good, not so much in a crisis but more of a crossroads or finding that balance in life as we reach a more advanced age. At times I do look at my friends and peers that are more financially sound than me and thought, "Which path did I divert from and which path did they went that makes the difference?". We were at par at school but not now. Then I told myself, we all walk a different path, I chose my passion over financial gains. We are richer in different ways. I had a close call back then and now my health is my wealth and my family love is my... richness (I can't of anything that rhymes). End of the day I am just glad that I am still alive! </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Cheers to the start of my mid-life!</p>JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-11238035203062851442021-01-09T21:40:00.017+08:002021-01-10T01:46:26.662+08:00Work and Friends: A Volatile Chemical<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8CFI6L2W91im-M4BhyphenhyphenxfTfHvSR5UnOkuvc-Xia421_WjCtQzQ_amSi-qWDFWSMTf0Vi_u332BTix4K7DWD2nbtXsIu3lB-lINxzpObbB9ivXhv4YoK89HgfRCpC31z3-mJcuGzQ/s800/800px-Chemistry-3533039_960_720.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8CFI6L2W91im-M4BhyphenhyphenxfTfHvSR5UnOkuvc-Xia421_WjCtQzQ_amSi-qWDFWSMTf0Vi_u332BTix4K7DWD2nbtXsIu3lB-lINxzpObbB9ivXhv4YoK89HgfRCpC31z3-mJcuGzQ/s400/800px-Chemistry-3533039_960_720.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Not so long ago I was having a chat with my mother. She was sharing with me a story of her friend, let's just call her Aunty A. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So Aunty A decided to start a company with her friend. She was excited about this new collaboration with her friend, this was a dream of hers. But not long later things start to take a turn for the worse; business wasn't good and both partners started to quarrel over business matters. Soon after they decided to stop and close up. Ever since then these two friends are no friends anymore and not on talking terms. 30 years of friendship cracked over something that they both dreamt about. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Then came the moral of the story, my mom told me that it is always never a good thing to work with your close friends, especially when you are close to them for a long time.
I was just starting my life in the working world at that time and I was naive. I thought to myself, well I worked with lots of my friends over school projects or some side hustle before this. It is not that hard. How could things get so bad, I thought to myself. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">To be honest, if this happened to me I would be really devastated. I am one who really treasures and value friendship. It will eat me inside out. I believe as close friends, most things should be able to be talked out unless something really bad must have happened to these two fellas that caused this to happen. I really wish they could patch things up and continue this friendship of theirs.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">This situation triggered me to look upon some write-ups regarding "working with or for friends" and most of them said that it is a very delicate balance. One article clearly mentions that clear communication is the key. Good or bad comments need to be communicated "honestly and impartially". </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Some articles did mention that the downside of working together is that friends often are unable to separate personal and business at work. It is a very difficult balancing act especially when one is reporting to another or vice versa. But help the situation is to know how to differentiate between work and personal and never ever keep work comments personal. It takes lots of hard work to be able to learn to be impartial and not everyone can do or accept that. Emotion or old memories will come to play. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Personally, after listening to the scenario above, I really believe it is always safer to not work in the same organization with a close friend as it is too risky for the relationship especially if you hold the friendship very dear. Unless you are ready to walk this volatile path...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">You can read the articles <a href="https://www.monster.ca/career-advice/article/should-you-work-with-a-friend" target="_blank">here </a>and <a href="https://www.themuse.com/advice/4-things-to-consider-before-working-for-a-friend">here</a>.</div>JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-15899847136937309472020-12-18T17:33:00.002+08:002020-12-18T17:39:36.519+08:002020 Annus Horibilis<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieYJevy4RkursMHhN2zJNw33ia7PA1K_NAtaMTJ65hwD8_qRfbEmX8Mebstn3AehKgRSGzhZDpAwwJHuxJeGoTSu2bxyaoAuDQhkAN7TK-krtLY-e3j43qwoTkX0_hCoxr5rLZAg/s757/20200519_130001.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="426" data-original-width="757" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieYJevy4RkursMHhN2zJNw33ia7PA1K_NAtaMTJ65hwD8_qRfbEmX8Mebstn3AehKgRSGzhZDpAwwJHuxJeGoTSu2bxyaoAuDQhkAN7TK-krtLY-e3j43qwoTkX0_hCoxr5rLZAg/w400-h225/20200519_130001.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Jeez! I realized that I tend to just post one article per year despite telling myself to write more. By now I am sure everyone knows that this year is quite an impactful one. A year that we wish could be erased or restarted. For me this year has been quite an eventful one. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It all started quite steadily, thinking this year will be the year we Malaysians will make that leap from a developing to a developed nation, Wawasan 2020. But then even before the year started things are already brewing, locally and internationally. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Back in December 2019, we heard about the outbreak in China about this weird novel coronavirus. Then suddenly in January, this novel virus touch based in Malaysia. And before we know it, BOOM! we have <strike>a change in Government!</strike> an outbreak! WHO declared that this new virus named Covid-19 a pandemic. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Besides the pandemic, another thing brewed and exploded. A sudden maneuver from some of our politicians and then BOOM we have a new government. Next thing we know a national <strike>lockdown</strike> movement control order (MCO) was implemented. The whole country went to a standstill. New Standard Operating Procedures (SOP) are being introduced. Now basic everyday activities that we took for granted are being controlled. Things like going to shops, strolling at the park, or taking a car ride became controlled. We all have a curfew where at 8pm we have to be at home. Shops are closed and the streets are being patrolled by police every now and then. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Suddenly we see 2 common faces, on the screen. Seeing them weirdly brings both anxiety and calm. Because we do not know whether is it good news or bad news. Sometimes both. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Now every day it is common to see a few types of news. New cases, political squabbles, new clusters, or famous celebs being infected by the virus. We all now look like stockbrokers looking at their stocks, wondering if it is going up or down. Just that now is whether how many new cases. Where are the new clusters and which mall has cases? Not to mention we also have our political news, which coincidentally also have a great deal about numbers 😁. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sports globally have also been hit. Suddenly feels damn weird watching football without fans in the stands. Or the NBA finals where fans are projected on screens. Just weird. But hey, the show must go on.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Food-wise, I have been eating at home more now. I have become so familiar with e-commerce platforms. Now everything I order is online. Lunch? online. Dinner? online. Need a new mouse? online. The only things I still head to the shop to buy are my snacks or my drinks. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Going back to work after two months of <strike>lockdown</strike> MCO was weird. I remember the first day, I was walking back and forth from my car as I kept on forgetting something. First was my car keys, then my phone then my office tag. Finally got in the car and BAM! I've forgotten about my mask! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Talking about MASK! It's a normal daily attire now. I've even taken the liberty to order a few masks. Some were made by my sis and mom (yes, they were kinda bored sitting at home as well). So now I can literally wear a different mask every day. I embrace the mask fashion like how I embraced my glasses fashion, it is part of my face now. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">How going to work causes some anxiety as well. We don't know who has the virus. A single cough or that slight sneeze by a colleague jolts me up and sometimes cringes me. Even my wife was paranoid when I choked on my spicy Maggi Asam Laksa that day. She was questioning me as if I stole some Maggi and kept it in my throat. "Why are you coughing? since when?!" while trying to gasp for air... I told her "spi...cy... ma...ggi! choki...ng". Back to work, meetings now are also shorter and if we need to meet someone that is out of the office, we just have to stay in the office and video call. No more rushing, no more wasting time traveling. Long ass meetings now can be done in 20mins. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Well, there is some silver lining this year as well. Lesser traffic, I barely get caught in traffic after work. Lifts are now so much more bearable, gone are the days where I have to rub shoulders and smell people's hair cream (yes because I am tall! and people's head is always around my nose or chin level). Parkings are bliss and no more super packed restaurants. Eateries are now cleaner and more organized. No more crowds. Nights are now more peaceful. I remember during the MCO, I would just sit on my balcony at 10pm and enjoy the peace and quiet. Bliss. It is every introvert's dream.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But this year went by really fast, in just a blink of an eye or a deep breath thru the mask, and it is already December. Is there good news next year? I really hope so. Something is already brewing this month and that is the vaccine for Covid-19! So let's hope next year will be a better one. Let's really hope! God, I miss traveling and I miss the beach! Onwards to 2021!</div><div><br /></div></div>JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-75832441917113332592019-06-25T16:08:00.001+08:002020-12-18T17:33:37.179+08:00As we get older...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Does staying true to yourself means anything?<br />
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When I was younger, I would beat my chest and tell the world that I will not change and I will stay true to myself. We watch movies where people always remain the same and goes back to the roots no matter how far we have gone. It was back then. Movies back then show this. But as we have gotten older, as I have gotten older, I have realised that people are not like that. People change and people grow older.<br />
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Just like my previous article written a few months back, even I have changed after a traumatic experience. From what I know, I have also witnessed how most people changed either for the better or for the worse.<br />
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I've realised that we may think we are the same but if we really look at ourselves, think hard and look hard. We will realise that we have changed ourselves. Like I said, I used to beat my chest and say I will not change. In values maybe but not personality. I am crankier now compared to back then. I have a more laid back outlook compared to back then. Take football, for example, I used to get really irritated if I have to miss a game but now I am just fine to miss it just for a couple more hours of sleep.<br />
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Perhaps our priorities have changed. Things that matter most have now dropped further down the list. We have started to learn to prioritise things that matter to us more now. Family, fame, fortune and many more. The thing we called life shapes us.<br />
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From a reliable friend to a friend that you never even see anymore. From someone jovial and positive to a grumpy and negative person. From a dependable person to someone who you don't even dare to ask to do anything for you.<br />
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Perhaps that is why sometimes we tend to do something that some say it is so childish but we do it anyway, like goofing around, laughing like mad with family and friends, playing games and so on. Perhaps this is to try to reignite that past glory or memory, or perhaps our past selves, even for a moment. But sadly, things we used to do for long hours or days now only last for minutes or a few short hours. Our life crept back in and drag us back.<br />
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It is the sad truth about life but again, life has to go on. People change and we have to deal with it. I guess it is part and parcel of this journey we call life.JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-77843052928822496072018-09-12T14:19:00.000+08:002018-09-12T14:19:01.859+08:00HOW A SIMPLE DECISION CHANGES MY OUTLOOK<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well, as promised I am writing more now compared to last year's 1 entry. Ever since my little time in the hospital it gave me quite alot of time to think about my life. I've realised that time is so precious and that I have been putting up to people way too much. The one line lots of people keep saying to me is "You are too nice", "You should toughen up", "Don't be scared to stand up to them" and so on. These lines have been ringing in my mind every time I lie down on that hospital bed. Besides thinking if I am ever gonna walk again or am I going to suddenly have a collapse lung, I have been thinking about my life as a whole. This line keeps coming up,<br />
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Am I really being too nice? <br />
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Should I even be more meaner or be more selfish?<br />
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Days passed and I keep telling myself that my values are to treat people nice. I was quite conflicted at times, on whether should I keep to my own principals and values of being nice or should I be a tad more selfish and meaner. I run thru all possible scenarios and did a full review and preview of my life. One thing I realised is that one day I might fall sick again and this time I wont be so lucky to come back like how I did. I realised how important time is, especially who I spend it on. Is this person or is this activity worth my time?<br />
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So I came up with a list of questions and actions that became my new list of principals or some would say mantra.<br />
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<i>1. Does this person brings you joy? </i><br />
<i>2. Does this person benefit you now or future? </i><br />
<i>3. Did they allocate time for you?</i><br />
<i> a. Did they spend time with you because they are free or they free their time to spend with you?</i><br />
<i>4. Did they use you or just took you for a ride?</i><br />
<i>5. Are they genuinely genuine with you? </i><br />
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<i>If not then slowly avoid mixing with them, allocate more time for people who deserves your time more. I didn't want to cut ties but I lessen down my communications. Who needs all these nonsensical shit in our life? </i><br />
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<i>If yes, then allocate more time for them, precious them and treat them better. Spend time with them and appreciate them because they sincerely free up their time to meet you.</i><br />
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Even when it comes to activity I ask myself "Is this activity beneficial to me now or in the future?" and "Does it fulfil my emotional and physical needs?". If it is not then why bother to even waste time on it. Might as well spend it on something more worthwhile.<br />
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Now that I have became a little more fussy and more "meaner" people start to see me in a different light. Some have a hidden perception towards me. The changes are quite dramatic. Some see me as being dramatic and some are just frustrated of the new me and my new decision. Some just stop communicating all together. The last one disappoints me the most, as things now doesn't goes your way you just discard or move away. But life goes on. That is why at times I will try to trigger certain scenarios to see the true intention of the person. This is so that I know earlier rather than later when I have invested so much time and effort.<br />
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I no longer want to sit there and spend my precious hours on people that don't even bother to want to genuinely spend time with me or benefit me. So why should I even bother to return the effort, right?<br />
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I have always said that I chose to be nice because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but now I realised that I don't have to look after their feelings as well. Nor do I have to neglect or cause any problem with those that care less. I just avoid and get along with my life.<br />
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I realised that I am now a happier person irregardless what other people think or look at me. Don't like the new me? then you either put in more effort or just move on...<br />
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<span style="color: red;"><i>"What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are. " </i> -C.S. Lewis</span><br />
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<br />JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-28357890612867666492018-07-25T19:00:00.004+08:002021-03-16T12:30:25.370+08:00Its been more than a year<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_Mp0zTuGtXxGV_EPeTeylF18JqveSGWyZr4aLre7xEZw0GUzMyYCSDriarveGPkowF5DzRWBULY9CMqxOzr3AfLXbZsgRZDVOtuDthtsHOtZo6OehJ0pdwm6WnXy9JJiTUHUGjQ/s279/download.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="180" data-original-width="279" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_Mp0zTuGtXxGV_EPeTeylF18JqveSGWyZr4aLre7xEZw0GUzMyYCSDriarveGPkowF5DzRWBULY9CMqxOzr3AfLXbZsgRZDVOtuDthtsHOtZo6OehJ0pdwm6WnXy9JJiTUHUGjQ/w400-h258/download.png" width="400" /></a></div><br />Wow looking at my last entry, it was like more than a year ago. I still can recall telling myself that I will and must write more but guess what? Jeng jeng jeng.... 1 and a half year later I am here writing... 2017 is the year with the least amount of postings from me! hahaha<br />
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But I am not giving up on this page. So let me share with you what happened to me the last year and a half.<br />
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Since my last entry, I have been through quite a roller coaster ride. I got moved into two different departments in 6 months. NO, not because I was problematic but I got better offer and so happened that the 2nd offer was too good to refuse. Then again it was a tough job as I have little knowledge but I was willing to learn. Then some unsavoury thing happened. I contracted HFMD (hand foot mouth disease)! Yes! HF-Fuckin-MD! An outbreak only prone for kids and I got it. It was hell, I couldn't walk or hold anything for a week. There were blisters on my foot and my palms. I have to self quarantine and avoid all human contact. Madness!<br />
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Then things went smoothly after that, I recovered, work was so so, challenging but fulfilling. Conducted my first training..<br />
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Then came 2018, new years was low key. So was Chinese New Year. Then disaster struck, the one fear that I feared most happened to me. I always dread surgery and I was diagnosed with pneumonia. I was hopitalized for 3 weeks and because they were unable to drain the fluid in my lungs, they have to cut me up and suck it out. I was discharged after 3 months and when I thought all was getting better, a 2nd disaster struck! A week after I was discharged, I started to feel my legs going limp. And suddenly I couldn't walk. Went back to see my doctor and he did a MRI scan and it showed that I have a compressed spinal cord due to slipped disc. WTF?! I was told that I have to go for surgery to relief the spinal cord or else risk paralysis.<br />
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By then my soul and morale was broken. It was one of my lowest point. I was scared and worried. Not about the surgery but whether I will be a paraplegic. The thought of it was very scary. Even my surgeon told me that he cant guarantee that after the surgery I would be able to recover. So I went to my 2nd major surgery. After the surgery I was still unable to move my legs. A month passed and I was still stuck in the hospital unable to even stand. I was getting worried. I was then transferred to another hospital for my physiotherapy. I spent close to a month there and it was during my time there I've told myself that I must and I will walk out of this place. I did...<br />
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I spent another 2 months recovering at home...<br />
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During these few months I have also changed my car. One of the bright light in the crazy year.<br />
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Now I've started back work, and looking back the past 1 and a half year... I am grateful that I am able to walk. Heck! I am grateful that I am alive! All thanks to my family and friends that constantly motivating me and pushing me on!<br />
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Crazy year and half! damn!<br />
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But I am back!<br />
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#assunta #hopitalPutrajaya #HospitalRehabCheras #rehabJShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-30657367295037767912017-01-02T02:40:00.004+08:002021-03-16T12:33:58.622+08:00A HAPPY AND A NEW YEAR<div style="text-align: justify;">
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Recently I read an <a href="http://startupbros.com/killing-the-7-motivation-murderers/" target="_blank">article </a>titled "Killing The 7 Motivation Murderers", It was a rather interesting article and I have learnt quite a few things from it. One particular point stated in the article is that you have to be thankful and grateful to what you have currently. Even for the smallest matter and I tried doing that the morning after and I realised that it actually works! I felt happier but somehow due to some people I have to deal with, it kinda saps the energy from you. Sad but true. </div>
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What I have learned from 2016 is that:</div>
<ol><li style="text-align: justify;">Too many hands trying to make the soup is not good</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Communication is key and most people need to understand the K.I.S.S system, KEEP IT SHORT & SIMPLE or in my ex-boss's words "KEEP IT SHORT STUPID!" </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">A good person/friend may not be a good manager/colleague</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">People are mostly selfish</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">People don't listen to understand but they listen to reply you</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Some people talk more than they can do</li>
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With that I came up with a list of my very own new year's resolutions. This one I think it can be sustained the whole of 2017. here goes:</div>
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<li style="text-align: justify;">Minimize/avoid (if possible) communication to assholes, or people who makes my life miserable. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Do what I want to do and don't let anyone/anything stop me</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Take time off to enrich my own soul</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Work only during working hours</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Minimise social media usage</li>
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I guess it is a workable list.</div>
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Well before I end this article, I would like to wish everyone of you, A Happy New Year! have a great 2017! </div>
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<br />JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-11646692758758060512016-08-08T11:28:00.001+08:002016-08-08T11:36:38.809+08:00The path to be a great leader<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH-zYaVO6GKbhOmp1kwXOwGLkZhVRP1TFodDAllcMbP3euO-YDxTnS56Dp8Fov7zy70Ah-6l0DM278iZD6kntoguvZvtZpB5xl52JTG3uR5MLUqA3whFsNgHMF7hTIr_44g7BfdQ/s1600/maxresdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH-zYaVO6GKbhOmp1kwXOwGLkZhVRP1TFodDAllcMbP3euO-YDxTnS56Dp8Fov7zy70Ah-6l0DM278iZD6kntoguvZvtZpB5xl52JTG3uR5MLUqA3whFsNgHMF7hTIr_44g7BfdQ/s400/maxresdefault.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Being a leader is never a clear path. I would not say that I am a great accomplished leader nor I would not say that I have not lead either. What I am writing here are my observation and studies on the few leaders I've met, talked to or even learned from throughout my time on this planet. I have to say there are many types of leaders out there that have different traits that are either born with or learned the hard way.</div>
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I have often heard people asking this question (I have to admit that I too asked this question when I was leading my team back then), "What does it takes to be a good leader?". This is a very subjective question as it really depends on who you are leading and what is your job scope. </div>
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What I have realised is that leaders generally scale down to three types, either you are an effective leader, a charismatic leader or you are both. </div>
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From my observation, an effective leader is someone who will lead their team to achieve their goal in a systematically way. They are usually a "Follow-the-system" no nonsense kind of person. They will ensure that the job is done in their way, putting aside all the small pep talks or in other words, bullshit talks or meetings. These leaders get the job done. Thats it! Some would compare them slightly like a dictator. They are usually effective when there is a crisis or when things are in chaos.</div>
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For a charismatic leader, they are the ones that will talk, inspire and at times charm the team to work for them without whipping them. These leaders are often seen as a likable figure. They will at times try to use the team's strength and encourage discovery. They are the ones who will use pep talks or they are the ones who will take you out for a drink to motivate you and talk to you to find ways to inspire you to go beyond.</div>
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Hence, as mentioned the ones that can combine both traits is not something you can get overnight or easily obtained. A leader with a good balance of both usually takes a while to master. Experience and character does play a huge role on how you find that balance too. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRDNS8_ppv5pZCfAYJm2lwNNS5cCk1EP2-K7iKm3TrimqRABB512pqvmjnXdxEo7Yco9oZTdpf2epJ8XnsgQkvJhYrjz9m8325Ndm8kjDY2yWlh6tmIHCOMhggMy1Rwg8LNUjKIw/s1600/a-team-windmill-movie-poster-PYR32263.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRDNS8_ppv5pZCfAYJm2lwNNS5cCk1EP2-K7iKm3TrimqRABB512pqvmjnXdxEo7Yco9oZTdpf2epJ8XnsgQkvJhYrjz9m8325Ndm8kjDY2yWlh6tmIHCOMhggMy1Rwg8LNUjKIw/s400/a-team-windmill-movie-poster-PYR32263.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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There are several other points that I have learned from the various leaders that I used to talked to or interviewed back in my radio and BNI days, (these are actual points stated by the leaders) here they are:</div>
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<li style="text-align: justify;">Do not take longer than 5 minutes to make a decision. Once a decision is made, if it is a wrong or bad decision, never regret it but instead, learn from it. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">A good leader have to be fair and transparent. This is usually one of the toughest aspect as this is one area where your every decision may look unfair to someone. So sometimes a decision made have to be thought through properly and objectively and not emotionally. A decision made have to be clear as to why it is being made. No point hiding or twisting certain facts.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">A good leader eliminates office politics. Office politics are usually the ones that kills an organisation. Discourage gossips. If there is an issue, bring together the parties involved and solve in face-to-face in a professional and civilized manner</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">In relation to point number 2 and 3, a leader does not takes side and always listen to the stories of both parties before making a judgement. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">A leader leads, a manage manages. There is usually a difference. One example, a good sales person does not necessary make a good sales manager.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Learn to empower your team or your staffs. Trust in their ability and knowledge. Let them take charge on smaller decisions. Entrust them with some tasks, delegate the job. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">A good leader helps the team to grow in knowledge and skills. If an staff or team are not able to perform a certain task given, find out why and guide them either via education or reassigning them to a task they are good at.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">As a leader, you may not know everything and sometimes it is good to ask for help from your team or others. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Keep instructions clear, straight forward and simple. You don't want your team to run around doing things that may not be productive just because you didn't make your instructions clear. A simple clear straight forward instructions gets the task done fast. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">A leader always reads and try to upgrade their skills</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">A leader should be generous in educating others and imparting knowledge and experience</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">A leader is just a team member with extra responsibilities. They are not more superior or more powerful, just more responsibilities. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">A leader is not a position where everyone will like you. There are definitely situations that you will be hated due to a decision you make but it is part and parcel of the job.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">The higher you go, the lonelier you get</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">A leader dont have to reinvent the wheel, just make it better. Sometimes a working system does not need to be revamped, just improved. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">A good leader leads by example, practice what they preach</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Lives up to their promises. Do not promise if you know you can't fulfill them. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Its always the team and not you. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">A leader don't mind going the extra mile for the team. BUT do not sacrifice yourself! </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Admits and owns up to their mistakes</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">and finally... a leader must be themselves. Be quirky, be funny, be original... be yourself! </li>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">Being a leader is never easy but if you know how do to it, the feeling of seeing your team or organisation succeed and you sitting there as their leader, knowing that you lead them there is such a satisfying feeling. </span><span style="text-align: justify;">I myself am still learning the traits and I hope one day I will be able to be standing along with those that taught me. And perhaps one day, I would be able to help others too...</span><br />
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To all the leaders that I have the privilege to chat with, thank you!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWCuCQYiDddpaqTf4qUKse5WKEH3juLkRdD5n6DgGdlQ_cNG6xow0bXn-Vaom5SIHCANMfXemooiO5kN6NzeKC90VQed2slbykUCjr4eaS6sZ4Ih7D0_DPDoTLdWTKfzh5GnGe3g/s1600/AAEAAQAAAAAAAAQtAAAAJDExOTg4MjUwLWQ4MjYtNGNmZC1hOTdiLTRlOTI2MjQzNzljMQ.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWCuCQYiDddpaqTf4qUKse5WKEH3juLkRdD5n6DgGdlQ_cNG6xow0bXn-Vaom5SIHCANMfXemooiO5kN6NzeKC90VQed2slbykUCjr4eaS6sZ4Ih7D0_DPDoTLdWTKfzh5GnGe3g/s400/AAEAAQAAAAAAAAQtAAAAJDExOTg4MjUwLWQ4MjYtNGNmZC1hOTdiLTRlOTI2MjQzNzljMQ.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="color: red;">"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: red;">-John Quincy Adams</span></i></div>
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JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-87663345629674514622016-05-19T00:09:00.000+08:002016-05-19T00:09:48.728+08:00Feeling Down and Battered<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Tired, worthless, moody and sad was what I was feeling the past few weeks. I was trying to find out what was the problem but I somehow couldn't. I was losing my interest on anything and I was constantly angry yet sad. Then I came across an article that pointed out all the symptoms I had and that I may be suffering from work burnout. My mind was all over the place. I could not focus and I was snapping at anyone. After a while, I started to feel guilty and angry at myself for being a jerk. I started apologising to everyone but that did not solved anything. I was still feeling like a wreck, something that I never felt for a long time. The last time I felt this way was more than 5 years ago. Spending a good time with my family and friends brought a short joy but once after meeting with them I went back into that deep dark hole. To the extend some people even said that I was being dramatic or exaggerating and that I am just overreacting but I know what I am going through and I just can't get out of it. </div>
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"What was the problem? " I thought to myself. "What was the cause of this?"... "Was it due to work?"... "Was it due to people?"... "Was it all of the above?".</div>
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It was something that was puzzling to me. I have no reason to feel down. Yes, I was swarmed with work but I was swarmed with work before this but I never went into this kind of spiral. Me being me, I was trying to figure out what was the cause of this problem. I tried digging deep into my mind and started remembering all the things that was taught to me by successful people and I still can't find my answer. I was desperate for an answer as it was affecting my work and the people around me. I was constantly putting on a fake smile. My laughter was hollow as if I was a robot pre-programmed to laugh. It affected me so bad that I even considered quitting my job and leaving everything behind and disappear. </div>
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It was not until today I found my answer... GOD! Nah just kidding! I stumbled across this <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaRO5-V1uK0&ab_channel=TEDxTalks" target="_blank">video </a>of Sean Stephenson on YouTube. He was talking about how we are so fixated about other people's judgement on us or what other people think about us that it affected us. We are locked in our our very own prison, which is our mind. Another thing he said was "never believe a prediction that doesn't empower you". What he said resonated and hit a chord within me, not entirely but a part of me. For the past few weeks, was not a very pleasant time for me. problems here, comments there, challenges here, assholes there. I realised that I was the one who dug my own hole and jumped inside. I was the cause of my own problems. I made myself like that. Perhaps I tripped a little hard this time and I've lost my way somehow and let it consumed me. I was constantly blaming everything else including myself. As Jim Rohn said "You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself".<br />
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I knew the answer all these while. How silly was I to be absorbed into this nonsensical hole? A friend of mine told me today that I've put too much pressure on myself to perform that I've lost my identity. I think I shall get back on path and <a href="http://junsern.blogspot.my/2012/07/learning-to-chill.html" target="_blank">chill </a>and smile like I always have...<br />
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In the words of Ian Malcolm of Jurassic Park...<br />
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<br />JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-733421008365971882016-04-28T11:08:00.001+08:002016-04-28T11:11:22.347+08:00The time conundrum<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well if you noticed my recent articles, it is all about time and looking back and remembering certain things. I am at it again! all thanks to Facebook Memories or "On this Day" function. Sad to say this is one of the first few activities I do when I get up in the morning, switch on my phone and go through the news and my FB. And this is always one of the first things that popped into my notification. "On This Day..." and things that I thought I have just done is already 2 or 3 years ago. Heck, some is already 5-6 years ago. I have been using Facebook for 8 years! </div>
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It was just moments ago when I look at some of the postings I did recently and I thought I have posted it few days ago shockingly it was actually 2-3 weeks ago. That sudden surge of confusion of what ever happened in between those time? How did time fly so fast? </div>
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I remember back in school, waiting for a half hour class to be over seems like eternity. Back then I felt that I did so many things in a day whereas now I can barely finish a few. Maybe it is the complexity of the work? Maybe not. Is this all about being an adult? </div>
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A wise old friend of mine once told me, if you plan your day out, time wont fly away fast. You have to be conscious most of the time during the day, because most of us are not 100% conscious most of the time. Sometimes we just auto-pilot on certain things or we focus too much on one thing and neglect the world. Perhaps that is what I am going through. Living sub-consciously for the past few years. And when I gain consciousness, I realised I have lost some time. Something that you cant gain back or buy back. </div>
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But thinking back again, end of the day although it seems fast I am happy that it is all spent on the people matters most to me and doing what I am happy doing. As much as it is a lost time, it is lost for a good reason. As this saying goes "Time flies when you are having fun" perhaps sub consciously I am actually having fun and I just stop smiling or stop appreciating it... maybe... maybe I am still that happy kid that just lost his smile on the outside like a faded once brightly coloured poster been exposed too long under the sun. Yes, I like that...<br />
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<i><span style="color: red;">How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?</span></i><span style="color: red;"> -Dr. Seuss-</span></div>
JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-74370362406056462132016-04-12T11:11:00.001+08:002016-04-12T11:38:36.224+08:00My Twilight Zone<div style="text-align: justify;">
I actually lost track of time recently. I recall clearly that I have wrote an article recently talking about my last decade that changed my life and I clearly remember writing <a href="http://junsern.blogspot.my/2015/06/and-suddenly-i-looked-back.html" target="_blank">it</a> like 1 to 2 months ago and then I came in here and I checked the date, HOLY SHIEAT! it was last June! That is like 10 months ago! Almost a year ago! Oh my how time flies! I still remember telling myself while writing that article, that I will start writing actively again, hence the great number of article that month (2). </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-2nE1bDmECI06Xyb4hQ9gj3YdDlr-GBzFSw2wjpelufLKfaWvrBhlTXq9p5FXoPcGp7ZN5pKY1xwsyfQiieKdIeP28tc46IEF2u1CdShUinIHaEe0ZCNaU16doutZr_5bVkF6ng/s1600/PhotoGrid_1460429631251.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-2nE1bDmECI06Xyb4hQ9gj3YdDlr-GBzFSw2wjpelufLKfaWvrBhlTXq9p5FXoPcGp7ZN5pKY1xwsyfQiieKdIeP28tc46IEF2u1CdShUinIHaEe0ZCNaU16doutZr_5bVkF6ng/s320/PhotoGrid_1460429631251.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the people of BR24</td></tr>
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Since that article, I have moved on from my previous job at Bernama Radio24 and thanks to Facebook memories, I just realized that I have manage to answer myself in an article I wrote few years ago <a href="http://junsern.blogspot.my/2012/04/passion-vs-world.html" target="_blank">here</a> entitled "Passion vs the world". Yes, I guess the "world" managed to win. I have moved on to a job that pays more and serves my current needs. Leaving the job that you love is never easy, especially a job that you dream of doing ever since a kid. But the world wins and I need to pay the bills. So I have to look at the second thing that I have passion on, branding. Like I said again, it pays the bills and life goes on. </div>
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Besides that, one thing that I am really glad is that I managed to hold on to my passion, well at least a little bit as I managed to get a part-time gig at an online radio to do what I love most and that is radio broadcasting.. It doesn't pay monetarily and it not a daily thing but it pays passion-ly (if that is even a word!) and emotionally. I feel very happy producing or running a radio show, I don't know why. Maybe it is something that I hold very close and dear to my heart ever since I was a kid. Somehow I just feel happy doing it, even if it was for free! of course if there is a proper salary would be even better! Who wouldn't want to do their dream job and get paid for it? </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6teYi4FU1asD-VucokOkts7cQVvqdeBOc5FgyLYG_nqG2BEfLPOzc3Y9ZCo9hxcTcz6YiOSctmXXQHX2t4gYHJVY0D_-iYJV6PELEI9dPKplzVg7yn0D9XPEbADdEsKved9_vIw/s1600/12733559_10153474093331378_6930692627581758557_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6teYi4FU1asD-VucokOkts7cQVvqdeBOc5FgyLYG_nqG2BEfLPOzc3Y9ZCo9hxcTcz6YiOSctmXXQHX2t4gYHJVY0D_-iYJV6PELEI9dPKplzVg7yn0D9XPEbADdEsKved9_vIw/s320/12733559_10153474093331378_6930692627581758557_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Now after a while, that little ember of a question started flickering back on... passion vs the world, who should I choose? I have now chosen the world, should I go back to passion or is there a new question on board? or should I find the world that has the same passion as I do? or should I create or change my current situation to what I want? I guess time and/or maybe my stupid-temperamental-sub-conscious-acting-hastily-and-not-thinking-straight will tell. Who knows what the future holds... perhaps I shall come back here and read after a long time again and laugh at my silly past or agree with him... who knows? </div>
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Anyway, I'm out...</div>
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<span style="color: red;"><i>"Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable."</i> -George S. Patton</span></div>
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JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-79811492305060529392015-06-22T14:50:00.001+08:002021-03-16T12:35:18.647+08:00On Father's Day...<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnH4d-CVF8wVWiXvY6rDhX-EDGOj9BoD8M31BGjd8BunxJuIz5q0d_mhfm72aJYnRqHfKF8ihbG6-7gi_HTP-BTSiA2ii_sRwZ2d4Hbb5Srt-xQVTRkS2Ehik2CS5MV6S46Xm5dA/s540/360_F_298308844_EDQ9bpuDkPVhBT3ooRJdzjm2gQ3XPxOT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="540" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnH4d-CVF8wVWiXvY6rDhX-EDGOj9BoD8M31BGjd8BunxJuIz5q0d_mhfm72aJYnRqHfKF8ihbG6-7gi_HTP-BTSiA2ii_sRwZ2d4Hbb5Srt-xQVTRkS2Ehik2CS5MV6S46Xm5dA/s320/360_F_298308844_EDQ9bpuDkPVhBT3ooRJdzjm2gQ3XPxOT.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />Father's day has just passed and to be honest, it was a rather sombre and quiet day for me. Looking at most of the people in my list posting pictures of their dad and saying how great they are kind of made me angry and envious at the same time. Perhaps it is because I missed my dad so much and that I could not spend anymore moments like what was posted by my friends, which made me angry. Looking at status like "My Hero", "The greatest man in my life", and so on, made me smile because I knew that my dad was all that was stated too. In fact maybe even more! </div>
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For me, loving my parents and cherishing every moments with them on a daily basis is more important than on any specific day. Just like what I stated in my previous <a href="http://junsern.blogspot.com/2015/05/mama.html" target="_blank"><i>blog</i> </a>about celebrating mothers day, you don't need a specific day to celebrate mother's or father's day. Love and cherish everyday with them is more important because with a blink of an eye, they might not be there anymore... </div>
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I miss my dad - my pillar, my superman, my friend... </div>
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I am glad to have many many great moments with you...</div>
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Happy Father's day...</div>
JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-36051689620785259162015-06-19T12:44:00.004+08:002015-06-19T21:13:57.233+08:00and Suddenly I looked back...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5dU83znxfin2bdNFYVPME1YRMEQ5m3piknSDAlX70cXNVqSK_MmKQ2BEVdgby9qu0vqh1qjpk8AZI0tZy8r3nMvK47dD1yAKeOTBw0lc5XM_4vn91ULIESF_aLAbzx0ldQXCPWQ/s1600/On-the-road.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5dU83znxfin2bdNFYVPME1YRMEQ5m3piknSDAlX70cXNVqSK_MmKQ2BEVdgby9qu0vqh1qjpk8AZI0tZy8r3nMvK47dD1yAKeOTBw0lc5XM_4vn91ULIESF_aLAbzx0ldQXCPWQ/s400/On-the-road.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Have you ever come to a time when you sit back, reflect and started calculating the years that certain events happened? I did! Well, recently I came to a crossroad, a life crossroad that is. And I told myself that I needed to do a self reflection and self review. I lie down for hours, reflecting and daydreaming and I realised that in the past 10 years, I have been through tons of stuff that I never thought I would go through. Its been a crazy decade for me. Many ups and downs, in fact, lots of right and left and back and front, too! </div>
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It all started when my Gmail prompted me to clear up my emails, as my account is getting full (imagine that! 15GB of nonsense!). So I decided to clean up some of my old emails. I look back at the very first email I got... of course it was the welcoming email from Google. I clearly remembered that my buddy invited me to join gmail. Yes, when Gmail started you need someone who have a Gmail account to invite you to enable you to join. He told me that they provide 2GB of space. Which at that time is alot of memory space!! and the interesting thing about Gmail is that it doesn't stay at 2GB. There as a counter at the side that shows the space is growing. OK, back to my first email, I saw the date of the mail sent and it shooked me up a lil'. it was 25th November 2004!! I thought to myself "HOLY SHIEAT!! MY GMAIL ACCOUNT IS 11 YEARS OLD!!,". Has it been so long?! </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5djVBUJuexFp9Wth6GiM911oJ_q7_NzaWFwY8KyJbJlt920KYN7_XxgCXCQ9W-fcSSgYeIosM0bH0gPlWjLYl-mX3o4v_a9tEY8FRTqXOgZA8-6auqT1Q8aT1Pb8PG0piLPaOeQ/s1600/gmail.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5djVBUJuexFp9Wth6GiM911oJ_q7_NzaWFwY8KyJbJlt920KYN7_XxgCXCQ9W-fcSSgYeIosM0bH0gPlWjLYl-mX3o4v_a9tEY8FRTqXOgZA8-6auqT1Q8aT1Pb8PG0piLPaOeQ/s320/gmail.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>my first email on Gmail</i></td></tr>
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I then look at some of the really first few mails that I received. Then I noticed that it was all those funny emails, jokes, photos, pixelated videos and quizzes. I was trying to remember why some of my friends who sends me all these emails. Then it dawned to me, FACEBOOK wasn't around that time. Friendster was just becoming the hit and the only way to "share" information is through emails! Well technically things didn't really changed. We just migrated from emails to Facebook. But the funny thing is that those who diligently send interesting emails back then are those who are totally non existent in Facebook now. How a decade can change someone!</div>
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Then I decided to walk down that nostalgic path. Went to click on my blog, yes, this very blog! well, it is linked to Google, Then something happened, I realised that my blog itself is 10 years old! 10 FREAKING YEARS OLD! Back then blogspot was not under Google yet. Things were kind of complicated and not so user friendly as it is now. As I was going through my posts, I realised that I write a load of crap. I guess I was still trying. Check out my first post<i> <a href="http://junsern.blogspot.com/2005/05/me-and-my-sis-during-chinese-new-year.html" target="_blank">here</a></i>! 10 years and 314 posts later, here I am writing this very blog. I wouldn't have thought that I can write so many articles, or so it seems. Reading some of my blogs, I started reflecting again and trying to find out why I wrote those articles. It is kinda funny thinking back. </div>
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Reading blogs and looking at old emails brought back lots of emotions. I've been through lots of ups and downs in the last decade. I realised losing my <a href="http://junsern.blogspot.com/2010/01/bon-voyage-papa.html" target="_blank"><i>dad</i> </a>and <a href="http://junsern.blogspot.com/2010/11/rip-grandma-zap-from-reality.html" target="_blank"><i>grandma</i> </a>in the same year was the lowest point in my life but somehow my loved ones and buddies brought me back up. Something that I don;t know how to repay them. </div>
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And there were the ups in the past decade, where I get to meet the love of my life and also getting married to her. The days of MSN Messengers were hot during the courting days. SMSes and phone calls were expensive so there were lots of chats! yay emoticons and low res web cams! yea right! </div>
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It was during this decade too, that I got into a job that I really only dreamt of getting. I thought I was embarking on a path of a lifetime in becoming part of the social machine, lifeless and emotionless working army, then came a job that I have always dreamt off! a job in a Radio Station! It was during these years that I get to go to places that I have only dreamt of going and meeting people that I would never thought I will ever meet in person. Heck, I was blessed to even have a decent private conversation with them! If you would have told me 10 years ago that I will be doing all these, I would only laugh and sit down and daydream!</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtkXL5vRWs1uk3ejcSv6XqVhymGHMPkNZdb-rOiAo2LyzirN63YQ1Zke1eJqGKg-uVGr93bBplon_C1bncfN4V5R1bQYjZxDMcG1cNy0LHB7bMQ4FgzQfyMDLlrM2J_zzQGy9kdw/s1600/387628_10150488009261378_1099759823_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtkXL5vRWs1uk3ejcSv6XqVhymGHMPkNZdb-rOiAo2LyzirN63YQ1Zke1eJqGKg-uVGr93bBplon_C1bncfN4V5R1bQYjZxDMcG1cNy0LHB7bMQ4FgzQfyMDLlrM2J_zzQGy9kdw/s320/387628_10150488009261378_1099759823_n.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>My idol growing up, the voice of Malaysia, the legendary Patrick Teoh</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieUOUmKenOvKCX12pAICrWF5oLaCXWQqWtJy3YZmQKOMrqD2cDIlQ4W8qvqxI9B1XltkVnW7LobSV0b4gj9jO5kea-5EJ9XfxmUWADp3WOyfVk-2DaFfBd3-uFgdmjOYfVikzRIg/s1600/533299_10150661116191378_1594827547_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieUOUmKenOvKCX12pAICrWF5oLaCXWQqWtJy3YZmQKOMrqD2cDIlQ4W8qvqxI9B1XltkVnW7LobSV0b4gj9jO5kea-5EJ9XfxmUWADp3WOyfVk-2DaFfBd3-uFgdmjOYfVikzRIg/s320/533299_10150661116191378_1594827547_n.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The great Zainal Abidin. I even get to stand 2 feet away from him singing live!</i></td></tr>
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But the last decade too, I guess we all have to experience lots of national incidents that were foreign to us. The changes of the political scene, or some would say, the political tsunami in the last 2 elections. The dark side of politics and politicians that were foreign a decade ago, or perhaps maybe its due to lack of social media back then. </div>
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The airline incidents, MH370, MH17 and QZ8501. These are something that were unheard of. Plane crash yes, we hear it often but disappearing planes, plane got shot down on hostile zone was something we would never thought would happen to us. </div>
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Funny thing is that during these incidents, I was in the thick of it as I have to cover the event, albeit by sitting in the studio. Most people are able to switch off and take a break but not me. We were facing this 24/7 and after a long period of time, it can get rather depressing but then again, no complains, it is my job!</div>
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Well, well, coming back to the MH370 issue, it was crazy and scary as my wife and I was suppose to head for our honeymoon 4 days after the incident on the same airline and same plane model. We went anyway as I was quite confident as there was nothing to worry about, as after interviewing aviation experts, pilots, cabin crews and engineers on my radio few days prior to my trip. But what I can tell you is that the atmosphere in the plane the entire trip was intense! every turbulence was followed with cringing of eyes, screams and nervous voices. The sigh of relief was heard when we landed.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6NlMGoKwgaDNEvLQPC-oPxpjf8kpgaf6AwFaWGbqW6_httwi4t0U7l6cjzhmZmE_5_ygfoBoXDgIx2UU6EBndWDaK872f4iyMckGMVqc6qLpzPoqTZS7pTAwCCbsq1hGZxIUnTg/s1600/11011195_10152787496821378_963738857667654385_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6NlMGoKwgaDNEvLQPC-oPxpjf8kpgaf6AwFaWGbqW6_httwi4t0U7l6cjzhmZmE_5_ygfoBoXDgIx2UU6EBndWDaK872f4iyMckGMVqc6qLpzPoqTZS7pTAwCCbsq1hGZxIUnTg/s320/11011195_10152787496821378_963738857667654385_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>me right after landing</i></td></tr>
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Like I mentioned earlier, its been a crazy decade and I wouldn't mind to go through it all over again. All these obstacles, bonuses, challenges, ups and downs only made me stronger and made me more confident to venture into the blurry path laid upon me. If I can survive the last decade, I am sure I can survive the next decade!</div>
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To end this article... I somehow find the lyrics of these song made sense to the current situation.</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Kf1xuC5KD9k/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Kf1xuC5KD9k?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><i>The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us. -Ashley Montagu</i></span></div>
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JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-75232099481157198062015-05-11T12:20:00.001+08:002015-06-19T11:05:51.742+08:00MAMA<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Mother's day has just passed. As usual, my facebook feed is flooded with pictures of my friends mom. Dinner with them, flowers, old pictures and so on. It is also flooded with quotes and wishes. But why? why boast or share with the whole world?</div>
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Throughout the years, mother's day has been a day where I would plan all week or month beforehand. I always feel that it is the one of the most important day of the year. But the last few years, I slowly saw the significance dwindling. Somehow Mother's day is not that important any more. Not because I don't adore or love my mother but more on the depth of the day. What does it means? It is the same thing in comparison to going to church on Sundays or going to the mosque on Fridays. Are you not devout to your religion on normal days? same goes with mothers. Do you not love your mother on normal days? Why do you need a specific day to shower your mom with love and flowers?</div>
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For me, I feel that mother's day is a redundant if you throw everything down for your mom on that particular day but neglect your mom on other day. For me mother's day is just like any other festival, it is a day where all of us took the opportunity to have a family gathering. But the truth is that everyday for me is mother's day. Everyday the time spent with my mom is as precious as any other days. Because as cliché as as it may sound, if you love your mom, everyday is mother's day. Every meal together everyday is as important as mother's day. You don't need any day to celebrate or recognise what your mom did for you. </div>
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I decided this year not to wish my mom on facebook or any other social media. For what? I would just rather have a nice quiet and happy meal with my mom, god-moms and family. Why? because love does not need to be shared on social media. Love them in real person everyday and have a meal with them is more meaningful than trying to show to the world that you love them. </div>
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Be successful in life and live a good life and ensure that they get lots of love everyday. That is the greatest gift I can give to my mom. </div>
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JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-50839127920130283552015-03-30T15:44:00.000+08:002019-06-25T16:18:37.392+08:00Life After Death (my meaning of Cheng Beng)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It has been a bitter sweet weekend for me. Heading back to my home town to celebrate Qing Ming or Cheng Beng. At the same weekend too was the funeral of the former Singapore Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew. When I was young, Cheng Beng has always been a happy family gathering for me, where we will head to my great-grandparents resting place then to my grandpa's resting place. Its been a yearly affair where I look forward to the food, the cleaning up of my ancestors final resting place and the fun stories that my family members tell about the departed, even if you heard it year after year. Stories about how great my great-grandparents are and what they did during the yesteryears always gets me excited and I always wondered how are they when they are alive. I would always look forward to the end of the prayers as we are allowed to eat the food that was offered. One of my favourites is the "siew mai" or meat dumplings that my aunt bought. </div>
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Throughout the years it was the same ritual, same procedure, it became an annual routine. I always knew about what Cheng Beng is all about but then as I get older I started to see the importance of it. It is not just visiting and pay respect to our deceased ancestors because we have to and just "makan" but the festival actually have a deeper meaning. Things started to change 5 years ago. After my dad passed away and followed by my grandma few months later, The whole meaning and importance of the Cheng Beng festival became more clearer to me. I understand now why it is celebrated. It is not about religion nor was it to pray for the deceased to get their blessings. Although lots of people tend to skew towards that. It is about to remembering and to remind us where we came from. Who are our family, and what did they do. It is a festival to remind and educate the younger and coming generations of their family and their roots and their history. The prayers and ritual was merely an addition to make it more official and meaningful. Cheng Beng is a Chinese culture where we sort of make our younger generations learn about their family and why do we carry our family name. It is because of this festival, I get to know so much about my great-grandparents. They passed on before I was born but I somehow feel connected to them. Same goes with my grandpa. I have no recollection of him as he passed away when I was just 3 years old. But it is because of the stories told by my family that I can relate to him and my family's past. </div>
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As I mentioned earlier, things became more apparent when my dad and grandma passed away. I now understand why my aunts and uncles or my grandaunts and uncles share their stories of my deceased ancestor. I too wanted to share my stories of my dad and grandma. Share the stories of what I have experienced and witnessed. Share the the idea and principles that they stand for. Everytime my family members share their stories, I am not sure whether they are aware about it but they are passing on the legacy of my family. Letting me know my roots and my family's history. </div>
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Coming back to yesterday, when I was travelling back to KL from my home town after visiting my ancestors resting place, a strange thought popped into my head (mind you, it was a long journey and my mind works best while I am driving). This came after my aunt from Singapore told that that day was the funeral of the late Lee Kuan Yew, and that thought suddenly struck me. I suddenly have a thought of what life after death actually means. I am never always a religious person. I somehow reject the idea of the institution of religion but I somehow believe that there is a big guy up there. Be it a supernatural being or just a group of sentient being. But then again, I do respect all religion as it is a way of life to teach a person to be a better person!</div>
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Coming back to the story, I have always asked or been asked on whether I do believe in life after death. What will we become after our time on this planet ends... then it occurs to me after joining the dots in my head. </div>
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Most people said that there is a heaven and there is a hell. Heaven for those who does good deeds and hell for those who did bad deeds. Most religion says the same thing. But does anyone really knows about it? This is when things get blurry for me. How can a person be judged whether he or she goes to hell or heaven? There are some things that we have done may be deemed good by one person but bad for another. Then it occurred to me during my drive is that heaven and hell is in all of us. What we have done to other living being while we are alive determines where we go. Right? How much we influence a person or a group of people determines where we go. That is life after death. </div>
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I believe that when we die, we don't go anywhere but live in the minds and memory of others. The people that we touch determines where we go. It is in their minds that determines where we go. We do good, people will think we go to heaven. We do bad, people will want us to go to hell. Hence heaven and hell is in all of us. We will never know where we go after death but knowing that we have done a great deal of good deeds that we will be ingrained into people's mind forever. Just like the great deeds that our ancestors did or just like the great deeds that the great leaders/personalities did. </div>
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In generations to come, they will still talk about the deeds we did in their life that ensure that in their memories we are now in heaven. No prayers, rituals nor offerings can make it any different. It is just a process to recollect the memories of old. With that our souls or memory will live on as a series of image in a persons mind. So everytime someone speaks of another person with respect after they are gone you know that there is life after death. The more you touch a person's life, the longer your soul or memory lives... and in their mind, you will always be in heaven (that is if you do good lah!).</div>
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Hence, I always live with this idea where, if you live a life with respect of others and yourself, you will get it back in return whether it is now or later...</div>
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Then again, that is what I think-lah! </div>
JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-76330092019273087082015-01-20T23:26:00.000+08:002015-01-21T19:08:52.606+08:005 years on...<div style="text-align: justify;">
5 years ago, today, I lost one of the pillar of my life. In just a blink of an eye... my dad has left us for 5 years... this time 5 years ago, the doctor told us to be prepared... this time 5 years ago the glass that I call life, shatters upon me... </div>
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<i>"Watching you and hoping that you will miraculously open your eyes and get better... but reality is harsh... I felt helpless as I could not do anything... I felt lost and defeated... I hope and I hope but I watched you slowly wither away... I tried singing while holding your hand, hoping you sing along with me like you always do... but to no avail... watching you go without saying goodbye hurts even more..."</i></div>
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Till today it still aches, till today I still can't fill that hole, till today I still wish that my dad will walk through my front door and say that he was fooling all of us, just like a prankster he always is... but at the end of the day... I have to accept it... that he is gone and the only thing left is my memory...</div>
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JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-32417768849393507892014-05-20T16:52:00.002+08:002014-05-20T17:31:54.696+08:00Too Lazy To Party<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I just came back from the Borneo Jazz Festival. It was fun and great but I realised one thing that was bugging me... and that was my lost of enthusiasm for partying. Zoom back 10 years ago, I would jump at the chance to go for a drinking session or a party... 10 years on... I would rather sit down and just chill. Having a great time is no longer loud music and booze but more of a good meal and good company.</div>
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I lost my interest in drinking booze also. The idea of intoxicating myself and losing control over myself seems wrong. I just dont like the idea of being drunk or high anymore. I dont know am I being boring or anti social but I have also starting to avoid going out to "have a drink". Maybe I just don't see the benefit of paying over the top for something I don't enjoy anymore or just plain worrying about my health, somehow, I just stopped.</div>
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I now start to understand what my parents meant when they commented about loud music and it being annoying. Not that I have lost my love for loud music but I just can't stand music that are too loud (those in clubs).</div>
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Does that makes me an old man? or have I out grown these kind of lifestyles?</div>
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Maybe... maybe not...</div>
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JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12012013.post-51528333289558563902014-02-24T02:00:00.001+08:002014-02-24T02:02:08.792+08:00Kita Malaysia!<div style="text-align: justify;">
Its been a while since I last wrote an article. The fact is, that I got so many things to say but I just cant find that inspiration. Well today I lift my lazy arse up and decided to write something as my first article for the year. </div>
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Have you looked at what is going on in our country lately? Everyone is so jumpy and edgy about almost every issue. Its like a balloon that is being blown too much and at any moment its going to go *BOOM*. Looking at the news everyday, there is always something or someone talking "shit" about someone or something. And when someone talks "shit" and it goes on the media, another person will retort and at times threatens. This will then sometimes be blown out of proportion by some of minions, cronies, groupies or "allegedly-groupie-supporter-but-want-to-look-smart-so-that-they-can-gain-some-brownie-points" followers. Then I will ask the question, "why??!".... "Why would this idiot of a person say/do something like this...." and "Why would this idiot, retort back or do something like this????!" or "Who are these bunch of people and why are they causing so much havoc?".</div>
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I have realised that a sector of our society has became too rigid and uptight. Everyone wants to teach but no one wants to educate. Everyone wants to complain, comment or blame but no one wants to sit and talk like the civil people we are. I always believe in finding a middle ground, finding a win-win situation and by doing so, some have to compromise and give in. Working in harmony and for the same cause. But then again, what is the whole reason that we became to rigid? How did we become so sensitive? How come racism are still at large at some place? How come the religious issue has became even more worse now?</div>
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I personally think is that we have somehow lost that bigger picture mentality and focused too much on the minute or insignificant issue. We have lost that sense of humor or that pride of being an intellectual man. We became lazy as we rely on the social media or the internet for information that may not even be right and be became so naive or easily convinced. With the emergence of Facebook, trigger happy or share happy people tend to sometimes share negative information/rumours or even gossip that might not even be true or doesn't even exist in the first place and start a wave of nonsensical arguements, hatred, fights and threat. We even have some irresponsible leaders who have no filter or whatsoever when they speak, and at times blabbing something they "thought" up based on their observation or the gossip they heard without any proper or solid information to back their words. Have we come to this level?<br />
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I believe that at this age and this time, we as Malaysian should be able to act more maturely and civilized and work things out as the peace loving people we are. Instead of finding just finding problems, let us find a middle-ground where we can work out. Religiously and racially we should learn to understand further each other. Personally, I don't believe in the idea of religion. Religion is suppose to be a personal thing but in the current times, it is blown out of proportion. Religion has became some sort of a marketing battle, mine is better than yours, yours is not as good as mine. I have two suggestion.... 1. Keep it to yourself... 2. Stop criticizing other religion. Its that simple... respect others and others will respect you. Defend it with your faith and not your fist!<br />
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Racism, can also be lowered if we try to learn each others culture and history. What really annoys me is when I saw a status posted by a friend of mine. What he witnessed, is that during Chinese New Year when there is a lion dance going on... a kid asked her mom what are those... the mom said "itu Hantu Cina"..... how ignorant is that? We have been living with each other for the longest time. Since the "Kesultanan Melaka" times... we grew up together. We fought for the country's independence.... and yet this happens.... why? Ignorance...<br />
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Learn, understand and respect. When I was growing up, my dad who has a nice variety of friends of different ethnic background. What he will do is bring me and my sister out to meet them during and festival and teach us about other cultures. He explained to us about the food, the religion and the culture of others. I was one of the fortunate ones where my father is not an ignorant man but a good Malaysian. He believes that we should understand and learn and be more cultured. Today, people are amazed by how much I know about Indian food (north and south), Malay food, Peranakan, Portuguese and of course... Chinese food. Because I was thought to learn and.... understand. Now, I am learning about our family from east Malaysia. I married to a Kadazan girl... and it is by far one interesting group of people that I have come across. But again, some people still can't differentiate the difference between an Iban and a Kadazan... WE HAVE BEEN TAUGHT ABOUT THIS SO MANY TIMES IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!!! But again, yes, although we are from different ethnic families but I don't like to differentiate people based on their ethnicity or their skin colour. Even people from the same race have different skin colour... so how do we differentiate them? skin-sism? bodoh! Respect the person for who they are and not where they come from... RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT... something we have to relearn and rekindle again!<br />
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Now, lets just look at Democracy. So how can we be a democratic country when we don't even try to understand each other? How can we be a democratic country when we don't even understand democracy? Does democracy means that if one person don't support the supposedly "right" political party and that person is stupid even though they are famous? I have seen people criticize some personality for choosing to support what ever political party they support, just because they don't support your party, doesn't make them stupid. So, is this democracy? NO! this are just ignorant hypocrites. People have choice... same goes with what kind of fried chicken. Some love "Original" some love "Hot and Spicy"...<br />
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So what I can say is that, we need to relook again at the big picture. Rebuild our foundation as a understanding and loving people of Malaysia... re-respect each other... learn about each other and find the middle ground... if others don't do it... we do it... "If others can't show class.... that doesn't mean we have to drop down to their level...!"</div>
JShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15267460686394252287noreply@blogger.com0