2009 the year that I would love to forget

Its been a long year and this was they year that I have the both extremes. I could not have foresee all this shit happening. I do not want to talk too much about it but it is so draining. Emotionally and mentally. From my loved ones to work to family then friends.

So many highs and so many lows. From falling really sick in January to getting screwed by my management. To successfully organising a company's event to my dog's death in March-April. From grandmother falling sick to losing the Champions league in May-June. From losing my good boss and colleague to earning my job confirmation in July-August. From starting my long love of animation to my gf changing her job/dad retired and both gotten a little depressed in September-October. And from successfully launching my animation and celebrating my grandma's grand birthday to my dad's falling really ill to my uncle's sudden death....

What a fucked up year! its like i cannot have the middle level but to it have to be the both extremes! the worst and the best.... All I can say is that this is the year that really changed my perception of life! I am not as cheerful as I used to be... I look at my dad and grandma and I realised that I am no longer a teenager where I 'think' that life is all well and happy... This is the year I finally grew up and cross into adulthood... a little for some... but I am just not as happy as I used to...

Now every 'thud' or calling of my name loudly will shock me... and my heart will pound rapidly... I think i am getting paranoid or having an anxiety attack... I just cant sleep soundly at night... will constantly wake up to check out my grandma and my parents...

I just cant seem to see ppl sad or suffering... especially loved ones and my friends... I just cant take it... anymore...

I am just tired... I need a break but I just cant get it. Too many things bothering my mind and too many things coming one after another. I just hope that 2010 will be a much much brighter and smoother flowing year. I really hope! few more days.... and lets all pray (what ever religion you are praying) and hope that the next year will be a great year.