Monday, May 17, 2010

Zen Teachings

Read this in one of my emails kinda funny, check this out.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. Its not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart

4. Always remember you are unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with two feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you are alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish then he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, then he will sit on a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone RM20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

13. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes from bad judgement.

15. A close mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse - then things just getting worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping and a laxative on the same night.

No comments:

Related Posts with Thumbnails