Monday, November 01, 2010

RIP GRANDMA - a zap from reality

First of all this article is not talking about someone called reality that is giving me a brush! Its about getting brushed from reality. The past one year or less has been a roller coaster ride for me. So many ups and downs and turning upside down.

Sometimes I just dont believe it. I am like being awake yet I am living in a dream. I cant believe that the things that I have and the people I know as far as I can remember are suddenly gone. The people that I love and hold so dear and the ones that I see everyday almost everyday since I was born is suddenly gone.

On Sunday 2.03am my grandma passed away peacefully after fighting a really tough and rough battle with pelvic and liver cancer for more than a year. She was 82 years old.

At this morning at 2am, 24 hours after her passing. I was sitting next to my grandma's casket. I was staring blankly at her photo. I was looking at her smiley face and reality suddenly came zapping in. I realised that I can no longer see her smile anymore. The grandma that was always there for me is not there anymore.

She was one lady that is so well respected by all. Why? coz she had a heart of gold and she really defines "service with a smile". Even her name is called One Smile in mandarin.

My grandma is a petite lady. Standing only 5 foot 3 inch. But she has a heart bigger than anyone else. She is always very generous and very helpful. And one very very strong willed person. She is one person that doesnt shrug off when people ask for help. She is always the person people go to when they want advice. lets just say she is one intelligent lady. She always stress to us to study and be a good person. Always advice us not to treat others badly. Before she was ill, never once people that visited her left hungry. She will make sure you get a good meal before you leave. She is one helluva cook! My size and the size of my family members explains it all. She will make sure you are at fully comfortable when you visit her. In a simpler word is that she makes sure everyone around her is comfortable.

But now I feel so so empty. I miss her advices and her smile. and how she make sure I am comfortable when I am with her. Now I feel as if my guts and my heart has been rip out from my body. Time will heal but I know I wont be the same person like I was anymore.

My only salvation now is my family and loved ones and knowing that all the person I've lost is now free of pain and in a better and more peaceful place.

AH MA... REST IN PEACE
I will always love you and miss you...

1 comment:

Vy said...

She will be missed. And you'll need time to heal...

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