Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Idiotic Idioms

Today's special will be massacring idioms. Come with me children, said the child molester.

1. You can't have your cake and eat it.... You can't have cum and eat it. Well you could, but that would make you a homosexual.
2. Haste makes waste... Yes, haste makes waste. But so does cum... You know, cuz cum gets you pregnant. And not everyone's a winner. So you would call it a waste of... Glad we're on the same page now, theodore.
3. Ignorance is bliss and so is a dildo in the bum.
4. Its pointless to cry over spilt milk but never over spilt cum. Especially if its in your hair after you've had it done at the hair lady's and paid twenty dollars for it.
5. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar but you can catch even more with aids cuz you'll be dead.
6. a bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush but a cock in the hand is worth less than two in your bush.
7. a golden key can open any door but a golden dick parts legs.
8. open sesame Aladdin cried to princess Jasmine. Because he wanted access to her cave.
9. a leopard cannot change its spots but it can tickle its own bum.
10. little knowledge is a dangerous thing but so is too much, Seriously do you want to know what cum tastes like?
11. a person is known by the company he keeps tied up in his basement as sex slaves
12. a poor workman always blames his tools because a tool always blames in on his work.
13. a woman's work is never done because there's no such thing as too much sex
14. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy, so boy get to work on jacking and you wont be dull.
15. alls fair in love and war except giving someone aids.
16. an apple a day keeps the doctor away unless he comes over to play doctor.
17. april showers bring may flowers but short dicks produce midgets.
18. bad news travels fast but not as fast as news of a hiv infection.
19. beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you're still a fat cloven hoofed animal.
20. better the devil you know than the devil you dont cuz the devil you dont might have aids.
21. don't wash your laundry in public, no one wants to seem the cum stains.
22. never cut your nose to spite your face cuz you'll look retarded.
23. easy come, easy go, easy cum, never let go.
24. god helps those who helps themselves, so start jacking off.

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