Anxious about Anxiety

 

Feeling anxious is nothing uncommon among everyone. It is a condition where you feel stress, fear, or worry about something. Whether it is about finances, loved ones, or that task that is unfinished. In the more extreme cases, it causes panic attacks or anxiety attacks. Your palms get sweaty, your chest tightens and at times you feel lethargic. Why I am saying this is because I am one of those who suffered from this. 

I am always envious of those who can keep themselves so calm when things get hairy. At times I wonder how do they do it? Especially during times like this. At one corner you are worried about the pandemic and the other the challenge at work. I asked around and some of the suggestions are a hit or miss. I thought maybe different people react to a different approach. 

The reason why I am writing this is that I had an anxiety problem as well. What happened to me was due to multiple issues congregating at the same time. Some have been brewing and some new and sudden. It all started with that usual uneasy feeling in my guts, some would say butterflies in the stomach. Soon after the butterflies turned into an anaconda. I was in full anxiety mode; my palms are sweaty, my chest felt heavy, loss of appetite, could not sleep and I get all jittery when my phone buzzes. I was worried that this will take a toll on me. This was not the first time I felt like this. That feeling of helplessness, lost, and in no control of the situation. I needed help because I knew where it was heading.

I looked around for articles that talk about solving this problem but somehow most of it are very generic. Find the stressor, deep breaths, exercise, or change my thinking. Like I mentioned, some are hit and some are a miss. Yet I still feel anxious. Then I spoke to my wife and asked how did she manage everything and she shared some very interesting words of wisdom which, I want to share with you. She told me this:

1. Let go of your ego and pride. We are stress because we are trying our very best to impress everyone except for ourselves. We need to prove to people that you are good at what you are doing and that you are always right. If you are wrong, apologize and move on. Stop focusing on what others are thinking of you. In other words, don't care what others think about you. You do you and do it right for you. This she said would be one of the hardest to let go but we have to as most stresses and problems around the world start from ego and pride.
2. Focus on the task and do it well. Even if it is the most menial task, focus on it do it well. Eventually, you will get a bigger task. If you excel in what task is given to you, eventually the universe will reward you in different ways.
3. Do not expect praise or reward when you do your work well. Do the best you can so that by the end of the day you yourself will feel satisfied with your work.
4. Do better. Always try to learn from what you have done and try to do better than your previous self. In other words, try to improve and learn. This fourth point is the accumulation of all 3 points above. 

Here are the other things that I used to help me as well during some of my minor anxiety attacks:

1. Seek clarification. If you are worried about an issue, best to ask for clarification. I had some issues at work and I seek help from my superiors. I realized once they have clarified, that cloud and uncertainty are cleared and my anxiety subsides.
2. Tell yourself that any complaints are on the task or job and not you. If we look at it that way then you won't feel personally being attacked. Is like how someone is hitting the room and not you in it. 
3. Look up to the skies. I always look up into the skies at night and look at the stars. It will make my problem insignificant as there are many bigger issues up there compared to mine. 
4. Talk it out. Find a friend or family member and vent it out. Sometimes it helps if the issue is shared with someone. Of course, do find someone who is not in a negative state of mind then it will just multiply the problem.
5. Just take a break. Stop what you are doing, take a few good deep breaths and walk around. Maybe get a cup of drink or munch on something crispy or crunchy. It helps. 
6. Focus on the present. In the words of Saitama from One Punch Man, "I will leave tomorrow's me to solve tomorrow's problem". I think this rings true, I always tell myself, "Is there anything I can do now? Is it stopping me from doing what I am doing now?" if it is not, then we should just enjoy the present.

I realized we will always grow along the way and managing my anxiety is a learning path that I have to take. There are times that I can't think through so I lower down my pride and ego and seek help from people around me. Sometimes we will get good advice from people we didn't know have it. All we need to do is ask. I am still learning and as I learn, I will try to share with everyone all the good stuff.

Before I sign off, I would like to share one video I came across that manages to help me in the office. At times I will just find a quiet place, sit down, plug on my headphones, and listen to this when I am anxious:

This really helped me and I really hope that it will help you too.