Friday, June 19, 2015

and Suddenly I looked back...

Have you ever come to a time when you sit back, reflect and started calculating the years that certain events happened? I did! Well, recently I came to a crossroad, a life crossroad that is. And I told myself that I needed to do a self reflection and self review. I lie down for hours, reflecting and daydreaming and I realised that in the past 10 years, I have been through tons of stuff that I never thought I would go through. Its been a crazy decade for me. Many ups and downs, in fact, lots of right and left and back and front, too! 

It all started when my Gmail prompted me to clear up my emails, as my account is getting full (imagine that! 15GB of nonsense!). So I decided to clean up some of my old emails. I look back at the very first email I got... of course it was the welcoming email from Google. I clearly remembered that my buddy invited me to join gmail. Yes, when Gmail started you need someone who have a Gmail account to invite you to enable you to join. He told me that they provide 2GB of space. Which at that time is alot of memory space!! and the interesting thing about Gmail is that it doesn't stay at 2GB. There as a counter at the side that shows the space is growing. OK, back to my first email, I saw the date of the mail sent and it shooked me up a lil'. it was 25th November 2004!! I thought to myself "HOLY SHIEAT!! MY GMAIL ACCOUNT IS 11 YEARS OLD!!,". Has it been so long?! 

my first email on Gmail

I then look at some of the really first few mails that I received. Then I noticed that it was all those funny emails, jokes, photos, pixelated videos and quizzes. I was trying to remember why some of my friends who sends me all these emails. Then it dawned to me, FACEBOOK wasn't around that time. Friendster was just becoming the hit and the only way to "share" information is through emails! Well technically things didn't really changed. We just migrated from emails to Facebook. But the funny thing is that those who diligently send interesting emails back then are those who are totally non existent in Facebook now. How a decade can change someone!

Then I decided to walk down that nostalgic path. Went to click on my blog, yes, this very blog! well, it is linked to Google, Then something happened, I realised that my blog itself is 10 years old! 10 FREAKING YEARS OLD! Back then blogspot was not under Google yet. Things were kind of complicated and not so user friendly as it is now. As I was going through my posts, I realised that I write a load of crap. I guess I was still trying. Check out my first post here! 10 years and 314 posts later, here I am writing this very blog. I wouldn't have thought that I can write so many articles, or so it seems. Reading some of my blogs, I started reflecting again and trying to find out why I wrote those articles. It is kinda funny thinking back. 

Reading blogs and looking at old emails brought back lots of emotions. I've been through lots of ups and downs in the last decade. I realised losing my dad and grandma in the same year was the lowest point in my life but somehow my loved ones and buddies brought me back up. Something that I don;t know how to repay them. 

And there were the ups in the past decade, where I get to meet the love of my life and also getting married to her. The days of MSN Messengers were hot during the courting days. SMSes and phone calls were expensive so there were lots of chats! yay emoticons and low res web cams! yea right! 

It was during this decade too, that I got into a job that I really only dreamt of getting. I thought I was embarking on a path of a lifetime in becoming part of the social machine, lifeless and emotionless working army, then came a job that I have always dreamt off! a job in a Radio Station! It was during these years that I get to go to places that I have only dreamt of going and meeting people that I would never thought I will ever meet in person. Heck, I was blessed to even have a decent private conversation with them! If you would have told me 10 years ago that I will be doing all these, I would only laugh and sit down and daydream!

My idol growing up, the voice of Malaysia, the legendary Patrick Teoh

The great Zainal Abidin. I even get to stand 2 feet away from him singing live!
But the last decade too, I guess we all have to experience lots of national incidents that were foreign to us. The changes of the political scene, or some would say, the political tsunami in the last 2 elections. The dark side of politics and politicians that were foreign a decade ago, or perhaps maybe its due to lack of social media back then. 

The airline incidents, MH370, MH17 and QZ8501. These are something that were unheard of. Plane crash yes, we hear it often but disappearing planes, plane got shot down on hostile zone was something we would never thought would happen to us. 

Funny thing is that during these incidents, I was in the thick of it as I have to cover the event, albeit by sitting in the studio. Most people are able to switch off and take a break but not me. We were facing this 24/7 and after a long period of time, it can get rather depressing but then again, no complains, it is my job!

Well, well, coming back to the MH370 issue, it was crazy and scary as my wife and I was suppose to head for our honeymoon 4 days after the incident on the same airline and same plane model. We went anyway as I was quite confident as there was nothing to worry about, as after interviewing aviation experts, pilots, cabin crews and engineers on my radio few days prior to my trip. But what I can tell you is that the atmosphere in the plane the entire trip was intense! every turbulence was followed with cringing of eyes, screams and nervous voices. The sigh of relief was heard when we landed.

me right after landing
Like I mentioned earlier, its been a crazy decade and I wouldn't mind to go through it all over again. All these obstacles, bonuses, challenges, ups and downs only made me stronger and made me more confident to venture into the blurry path laid upon me. If I can survive the last decade, I am sure I can survive the next decade!

To end this article... I somehow find the lyrics of these song made sense to the current situation.

The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us.     -Ashley Montagu

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