Sometimes I tend to scare myself. Sometimes I tend to do something that makes me feel embarrassed afterwords. I sat down the whole night thinking about my actions. Maybe it is just what is happening in my life. I remember telling myself to learn to chill. I remember telling myself to keep the devil in me back in to 2009 in this article but the old friend in me crept out again. Ever now and then when I let my guard down this fella creeps out. I thought I have it under control. Sigh.
I think that it is just sad because, I was pondering about this for a long time but I just dont want to do it. Because I have so much passion for what I am doing. Maybe it is just a huge slap on my face, saying that I "cant" do what I love "again"!!! Its just too many times I was robbed of my passion. Just like this article, where I was told that I can't play any physical sports because of my back. Now this happens, it is sad that this happened. They are closing down our block. Paving way for something bigger it seems... bollocks!
I was really down but I think I am going to take my dad's advice. He told me time and time again when he was around, "what ever happened or where ever you end up. Always remember your roots. Sometimes its best to go back to your roots". Wise words indeed...
What I am going to do now is to look back at what makes me happy. Why was I called the laughing Buddha when I was younger. How did I manage to make myself happy? Like I said, I sat back and look at what all is happening and what I did the last time that makes me happy. Now I know. Live goes on. I am going to do what I see best for me. I am bringing back my old fire. I want to be that happy kid again. Fuck those who wants to make life miserable! FUCK YOU! and FUCK YOUR ideas and thoughts! In the WORDS OF THE ROCK!!!
I am getting back to my roots!
a new start... a new beginning... and the good ol' fire!
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