Monday, August 21, 2006

BOLLOCKS... just bollocks!

For the past few years i was struggling to overcome this fact that i cant play any sports that can hurt my back. Due to my insanely fragile back... i have to stop playing the game i enjoy and love, the game that runs in my blood even as i am typing now. The moment i heard from the doctor that i have to give up the game i love totally shattered my life. I cant even remember when i started to play this game. Well it was unavoidable as my granpa n dad were the masters of this game during their heyday. I would really love to follow their footsteps but sadly this f*cking tragedy have to happen to me. Just two days ago i was talking to my granma about this game as we saw it on tv, then she started telling me tales of my granpa. "How good a shooter he is... and how my dad followed his footsteps" Wearing the same number and representing the same team... well ppl said family fortunes never last more then 3 generations, well i guess its true. The glory ended with me. I inherited the skills and moves and the passion but i just couldnt blossom. Really fustrating...! sigh!

I can still remember when i really took this game seriously, it was when i went to secondary school. I would play whenever i can find time. I will play at my home porch shooting imaginary rim at the balcony or play after school under the scorching sun for hours till my dad pick me up after work or ask my dad to train/play wit me during sunday mornings. Even then, I enjoy the challenge of playing wit ppl better and older then me and trying my best to perform way beyond my limit just to tell them i am no small kid or push over. then again,Or am i just trying to live up to my family tradition...?

Everytime when i have a date wit my frens to play this game, i will arrive one hour early just to make sure i am fully prepared for the game by shooting for almost one hour from all over the court. Due to my looks then(short, plump, fair and a specky guy), people usually assume that i am those pampered kid tat just plays this game for fun... lousy and weak... how i know? they pick all the players for the team and i was the one pick last as the other team needs one more player! but then during the game i will usually show them i am not by sinking all my shots whenever i get the chance from all over the court. The beautiful sound of the ball entering straight in the middle of the rim and blasting thru the net... *chooop* and the silence after that... and the reaction on people's face. That is the feeling of unbelievable joy... that it became so addictive. Till one time when ever my frens will pass the ball to me in the game they know its definately hitting the target. *chooop*.... *chooop*.... *chooop*... due to that addiction to that feeling and sound, it made me hate losing, so somehow or rather after a long tiring game, i will dig into my guts to find that extra energy to sink in my stinger just to listen and feel the sound and see the joy in my team mates face... that ever beautiful sight and sound. Ask anyone that plays this game they will say the same thing. The beautiful sound *choope*!

I always love being the underdogs... even now. Coz winning with the underdog tag is so much more satisfying. As u get to see ur opponents reaction when they lose to people that is inferior to their eyes, realising that everyone can achieve greatness if given a chance and never underestimate anything!

Even moments b4 i injure my back... i was playing for my course in my college. We were the underdogs as my course has a really small intake so we dont really have much players. During then, I so wanted to win. As we are the one everyone said that most likely to get kicked out in the first round, which is same as the years before... So i played with all my might, dont want to be the 'again lose' team and make some difference. But i guess i just dont have the chance! sigh! After around 10 mins into the game, i heard a snap.. and i feel a sharp aching pain in my lower right back. Right below my kidneys (i think)... I still carried on as i am one of the biggest n tallest player in my team. There was a rebound and i jump n reach it... 3 more other opponents jumped along wit me. Usually when comes to this situation i can usually out maneuver them but now i couldnt find the strength and got nudge out of the way and i fell on the hard concrete court. Everyone was giggling as i, the big fella got out powered by smaller guys... i didnt care as i couldnt stand up as my back gave way. i tried to pushed myself up and my fren came and help me to the bench. I could hardly stand up. After the game, (sadly we lost!... again) I have to force myself to walk to my car, my body tilting to one side coz if stand straight the pain will get so bad.

Went home and rested for 2 days. The pain recided and just slight tightness at the back. It was my sem break, so i headed to genting h'lands wit my buddies. When we reached there the weather hit me. My back started to hurt again. I was sweating like a pig in the cold and windy genting highlands! my frens got shocked wit my reaction (Cold weather.... sweating alot... hmm it dont go together). I told them about the pain... then they accompany me back down to KL. It was then i started my 4 months of psychotic amount of treatments from chinese massage sinseh to the specialist. I practically went through almost all type of treatments from normal massage to 'guat sa' aka sand digging to physiotherapy to acupuncture just to heal my back. This was then when the doc told me that i have to stop playing this game. The heartbreak was really unbearable.... just couldt take it for the moment... got over it... abit after a few months.

I stopped playing this game for almost 2 years already. As i manage to injure my back again one year after the great injury where the doc told me to stop. One of the slowest n lowest point in my life. I felt as though i am useless as i cant do alot of things i usually do. I just cant do much with my physical defect now. But i got over it... accepted it and look at life differently now!! Till recently... the old feel has come back. I started playing this game again... well not competitively...nice and slow (almost to walking pace!!) just for a lil' sweat... and to enjoy the feeling of the game again. Almost all my close buddies that knows wut happened to me, plays to my way, where i dun jump or stretch for ball (i'm touched). As much as i want to jump and block opponents rushing in... i just think of the agony i went through... and i just let him pass me...(sigh) Although i lost touch slightly as my fitness drop to quite a low level, but now... after some cycling, lifting some light weights and slight diet control... i can feel the strength and power again... I will never stop playing the game i love... the joy i have wit my dad and frens... and yet again... thet feeling... of satisfaction... I will always love this game... and i will never stop playing Basketball....... ahh crap...
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