Thursday, July 29, 2010

*MOST* M'SIAN DRIVERS ARE RETARDS!

Was wanting to write about this article for a really really really really long time. I guess now I have enough juice to squeeze! first of all sorry for the long absence! bz with work. And I can see that my esteemed guest writer has made himself feel comfortable.

Ok, I found out that there are alot of fucking retarded drivers in KL. No offense to those "special" kids or people but most KL drivers are mentally retarded! I wanted to use the word idiotic but idiot can learn and improve, same goes with stupid! But retarded is beyond help. Permanent damage.

Why I say this? Ok lets give you the scenario and the reason why...

1. Hazard lights during heavy rain! if you are really that fucking stupid hazard lights is that two orange lights you on by pressing that button with red triangle on it and let you have that two green indication on your speedometer. Why you should not on during heavy rain? yes it creates the bright sensation to warn people that you are there... correct? correct eh? correct.... IF YOU ARE STOPPED AT THE ROAD SIDE! eg; car broken down/ tyre punctured or cant see the road. This will cause confusion for those who KNOWS what is it for. Suddenly we see hazard lights but its moving... the only time you use the hazard lights while you are moving is when you ARE IN A FUCKING EMERGENCY or you are some big shot?! What you should do when it rains too heavily? ON YOUR LIGHTS LA! so hard ar?

Talking about switching on the lights it takes me to no 2.

2. There are alot of "HEROES" that thinks that they are driving a glow in the dark car. There was once a friend of mine ask me, "how come you on your lights in the car park?" I told them "Well, its because it DARK! how people know I am coming? carpark is one of the place that an accident can happen" Understand the mechanics of this? One more thing is, like I said in no.1 is that those that dont switch on their lights during heavy downpour. Save electricity is it? They drive at the certain speed that you cant see them coz the water droplets have assemble at my little side mirror causing the driver to have almost no vision. That is where the car lights comes in! the lights is not for you to see better but for OTHERS TO SEE YOU BETTER!

3. This is linked to no.2. Switching lights in the tunnel. Why do they ask us to switch on our lights when we are in the tunnel? why? why? wwwhhhyy? Well you know that sometimes shieat happens rite? tunnel lights go off and shit. Well its no big deal rite? just like at home rite? when its dark and we want to see things only we switch on the lights rite? correct....... but what if you are driving way above the speed limit allocated and suddenly the lights goes off? do you remember the tunnel like the back of your hand? no! can you see is there a car in front of you? no! oh yea... thats why you NEED TO SWITCH ON THE LIGHTS IN TUNNELS!!!! fucking moron!

4. I realise when you drive in a traffic jam people are the meanest! and alot of GENIUS HEROES appears. They will be crawling at a certain speed and when you switch on the indicator to cut in their lane... they.......... GO FASTER! is like as if one car is going make a difference! or when you want to cut across the junction. They see you but they just go across and stop in front of the junction! and stare at you.... i just stare at them and give them the middle finger to the head pose! You know that you cant go any further, just let me cut across la! I am not taking your space! Some geniuses are even better, so impatient are they, they will use the opposite lane just to cut...... 2 cars! wow wee.! big improvement! but in return they cause an even worse jam as the opposite lane cant go thus causing the cars at the back to block our lane causing a massive jam that could have been avoided! GENIUS! who said Malaysian got no genius? we got plenty of them! JUST LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE! Will your move improve the situation for you or others? no!
5. Those that turn out to the junction. You can see that the car is going at a certain speed. Yea we are ready to let you out but when they come out, they warp at snail speed! causing a sudden brake from me, the cars behind and the cars behind them! causing further....... jam...

6. Those that does wrong and yet still horn you for doing the right thing. refering to no.4 You switch on your indicator for ages and when you see an opening you try to cut in, but the car behind speeds up and horn you! RETARDED and "VERY GENEROUS" want to win is it? go ahead la!

7. Then there are those housing area Kimi Raikkonen, Michael Schumacher or Alonso. Speeding like there is a race going on at a narrow housing estate roads. And when you drive your car out of the house you look to your left and right and see there is no car... then you start to reverse your car, next thing you know is a car suddenly pops up at a amazing speed then they jam brake then horn you as if you are in the wrong! TIU NIA MAH! fucking retards! You know its a housing estate so there are bound to have cars or people coming out. Worse of all what if a kid darts out? Need i say more?

8. Parking, how on earth some idiots park their car? some just dont give a shit or two! Some park their car halfway in! some park so near to your car that you cant open your door. Some just take up two space and some just park anywhere as if the road is theirs! all we ask is to be considerate abit! it is not that you dont care... it will affect you too. Like when suddenly you got a damn cool Nike sign at the side of your car starting from the front to the back. Or suddenly you got polka dot sun roof or your windscreen on your seats. Shit happens... rite? you ass park then you get ass whacked lo.

I for now I shall stop. More to come!!! after reading this... you make your own conclusion... are you one of them? or are you gonna be a more better driver like how you pledge in front of your driving examiner that you will be a "Pemandu Berhemah"?

cheers for now

Friday, July 23, 2010

2010 Horrible Movies...

Let's start this post with this years worst movie... The Killers. Don't ask what possessed me to go see this one cuz I usually avoid Katherine Hiegel movies like the plague (yes, including Knocked Up). There is nothing about Hiegel I like, from her fake teeth to her dumb face to her monkey ass ditsy bitch personality. She is a cunt. And speaking of cunts, has anyone seen how fat Jessica Simpson has gotten? Poor woman. Anyways I'm not gonna review the Killers all I'm gonna say is that you'd have more fun playing Russian roulette with a tranquilizer gun filled with AIDS.

Next movie Clash of the Titans. Another dumb excuse for a movie which could have ended in 3 minutes. Oh, unless the princess is sacrificed to the Kraken (Crackhead, c'mon i'll suck your...) the whole town will get wiped out. And then the prince goes on his merry way with a bunch of dudes (gay fest) and the ever irritating Gemma Artartaeraeton, spewing moronic diatribe and unwanted advice all the way along. Besides the hint of racism involving a certain djinn and a certain woman who feeds her hair rats, there is absolutely nothing worthy about watching this movie. this movie could have ended with the prince getting on board that flying horse, killing snake woman and then turning the crackhead to stone (or getting the crackhead stoned, to use a passive sentence).

After that we have Predators. So much hope, so much disappointment. I'd rather watch a movie about two pedophiles in speedos (pedos in speedos), drive around in a white van looking for kids (hence the name predators, get it? no, moving on swiftly....)

This has been a really really rotten movie year. Besides A-Team, that hasn't been a single watchable movie this entire year. Y'know why? Cuz Hollywood has run out ideas... So if you, like me, hate the crap they've been spewing out visit www.thistowncrew.com for some good wholesome family entertainment which is coincidentally for ages 18 and above.

Cyanora for now. Rhasta Out...

Monday, July 12, 2010

Between Blue and Red

One of the conditions our gracious blogmaster bestowed upon me as a rule to follow when being a guest blogger in his site was no racist remarks. Well, let me tell you something. I don't give a fuck. I'm going to hammer a race of people. this group - who should have been annihilated of the face of the planet eons ago by Xenu and his Scientologist minions - and that race of people is...

yes you've guessed correctly... purple people. ma'fuck purple people. i am going on record and saying that every last purple person should be exterminated, their women sterilized and their children force to have daily shower in AIDS for a month. Be real people, deep down in your hearts you hate purple people. It's ok to say you hate purple people. It's good to say you hate purple people. Purple people deserve your hate. Hate them. Now and forever.

If you're still being all politically correct about not wanting to hate purple people all i have to do is give you one example of a purple person and i'll bet you will start hating them too. Barney the Dinosaur that purple fuck. I rest my case. Rhasta out...

The Return of Synn

Down goes the Dutch Lady and all her cows. I knew I shouldn't have watched and jinxed the match. What would the headlines read? Orange Belanda buat blunder lagi. Was it 8, 9 or 10 yellow cards? I lost count. the fools. to quote Michael Caine... "there two things I hate in this world... People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch." Choke and choke and choke some more. More headlines... Orange Crush... Netherlands sent back to the nether regions... Well, now that the world cup is over, you all can go back to work. yes be productive. produce... something... anything... nothing? myeh. so much for the return of rhasta synn to blogging. oh yeah, some of you (meaning the two people who used to read my old blog before I shut it down as it was hurting my political career) may remember me having a blog entitled Malice In Wonderland. Well it turns out that one of my two old readers, a Mr. Snoop Dogg has now named his latest album... yeap, you guessed it... Malice In Wonderland. Mr. Dogg, I would like to say this... Fools seldom differ. That's all for now. Rhasta Out...

Sunday, July 11, 2010

RAINFOREST WORLD MUSIC FESTIVAL prologue

Weather has been bad here in Kuching. Been raining daily. Sounds bad? not at the Rainforest World Music Fest! Been here since Thursday with Shereen Dulau and the fun didnt stop!

MUD! Rain! and getting down and dirty is the way to paaaaaarty here in Santubong Kuching! I have to say so far this is the most happening party I've been! FORGET WEST MALAYSIA's party scene! this one is totally different! The diverse crowd and the performance is just so wild! and there isnt much restriction compared to the Peninsula. Ppl just walk around in bikini, or guys shirtless and really muddy feet and clothes! this is out of this world! and the best part, its held next to the rain forest! fantastic! awesome!

The internet line here is really bad so could not upload any photos yet. But will do it once I am back in KL.

Well today is the last day of this Festival and I am now looking outside and I see dark skies... GREAT!

Will update more soon! ta ta! I am off to get myself dirty again!

Sunday, July 04, 2010

AYAM WHO AYAM!


Is it me or is there a certain way of "blogging"? I was told that there are certain ways to write your blog and there is certain "style" or "design" that we have to do so that people will read your blog. Hmmm...

Then what makes you so special then? So that you can read about the supposed "me"? or what i have "tried" to do? cmon. This is my blog and this is my space and this is my style. I feel comfortable with this way of writing.

I guess its either you hate it or like it. Even if I am planning to take this writing stuff seriously, I still wont change my style of writing just because people "thinks" that it doesnt suit my readers. If I change then what makes me so different than the rest? I might as well just ask them to write for me or if the readers that wants me to write like the "rest" then they might as well just go read their blogs. Am I right?

I may have new topics but I am still me! This is how I express myself and this is how I write. You dont see people ask the Simpsons to be drawn or written like a Disney cartoon aint it?

So this is me and I am who I am. Thats why my blog is called THIS IS MY YARD! you diggg?

By the way, I have invited my old friend and fellow blogger. I manage to coax him back out of blogging retirement. We both used to cross reference our blogs. He will be the guest writer for my blog. His name is Rastha Sinn. Hope he will bring in another "different" perspective for yer'll to read. A colourful writer.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” -Dr. Seuss-

“I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I'd just been myself.”
-Britanny Renee-

Thursday, July 01, 2010

I AM BRUCE WAYNE? NOT!

Wow, time flies really fast. I thought I just posted my last article last week but I realised that its already half a month ago! Dammit! I really think what my boss said was true! I am like Bruce Wayne, living so many different lives! By day I have my job, at night I am a Cartoonist, part time designer, blogger and a Uni Student.


Not to mention i am a full time son, brother and also an committed other half! But I guess its all down to time management which I clearly haven't learn the trick of mastering it YET! barely have a grasp at it! Hmmm... That explains why I am so tired everyday! I sometimes wonder how does some people do it? I wonder how those super tycoons or chief executives juggle their life! Puzzling

How eh? ppl say prioritize but all also equally as important to me. Shuffle? but all also have a deadline... or should I be like Spiderman and sacrifice one or two of the things that I love doing?

I am JunseRn no more...... cough cough... aiya... tak boleh la! Fuck it... just go with the flow la!

Sometimes I just wish I can split myself into 5 of myself and all will be good. Perhaps like Naruto

"KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!"

**BURST!**


aiyak... wrong jutsu...

*BURST*


hahaha. Ok i think I am losing my mind...

ok some eye washer for those anime freaks!

Hot eh...?

and last but not least... one video that never fails to make me laugh like a freaking retard!



cheers!
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