Thursday, December 21, 2006

my family

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


a collection of us... and i didnt know we took this many photos... i really hope there is many many many more to come!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

its Rayning men!

In a lush green plateau, the sound of the wind blowing gently across the trees. The plateau is framed with a beautiful rocky mountains with snowy peaks by the horizon. A dog barking could be heard by the hilt. A beautiful beagle running across the lush green. "Dragon! Dragon!.." a husky voice could be heard. A tall built man came chasing the dog. The dog ran towards its master and he hugged it. "Little devil... for you know I am going to visit milady, you shouldn't make me wait any longer just by chasing you," he said. His name is Sir Jon Osmond Karl Elliot. As Jon looks up into the skies as he is walking back to his castle he said to Dragon "For everytime I visit milady, the skies will shower us with this tranquilising droplets... perhaps it is to clear the filth on my face and freshen me up,". As he walks down to the stables, Lucard the the white carriage driver speaks "Good day milord, finally visiting Lady Elizebeth milord?". Jon replied "Indeed Lucard, very well lets get on the way as I am missing her as much as the fishes misses the water" he continues "I havent seen her for ages, for now I am very nervous" but Lucard gave words that calms him down as usual "Milord, I am very sure Lady Elizebeth is as anxious as you, milord".

As the rain continues trickling down, the trail along the forest starts to get muddy. After hours travelling across the forest, the 2 tall towers of Castle Ara could be seen as the trees clears. Across the trickling sound of the rain Lucard's voice could be heard "Milord, Castle Ara... your lady awaits". The carriage enters the castle and stops at the courtyard. As Jon alight his carriage the rain gets heavier and the ground gets muddier. This didnt stopped him from heading the tower. As eager as he is, he climbs the spiral stairs of the tower heading to the top of the tower eager to see his lady. As he climbs up the stairs that seems never ending, the thought of her beautiful smile and the smell of her long wavy lavender scented hair drives him faster. Thinking of the smile... the beautiful smile, the smile that strikes the heart like cupids arrow hitting its target drives him up the stairs like wind.

As he reached the wooden door at the top of the tower, he gently knocks the door and called "Lady Elizabeth, my love, for I have come after all this while, please let me in". But after a while there was no answer, somehow it doesnt seem right as he recall the rings in the door handle is not silver but gold. The smell of rotting wood could be smell. "This cant be right, I remember smelling the lovely and beautiful smell of lavender as i ascend the stairs when I came the last time. Could I have been wrong?" he thought. Then Jon shouted again "Lady Elizebeth! milady! answer me for I have arrived as promised" he knocks the handle again. "KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!", "Milady, I have arrived...", as he speaks the rain starts to sprinkle in from the windows. Then a creak is heard... the door opens and without hesitation Jon ran in and hugged the lady with the wavy hair tightly. Suddenly, the lady screamed! "What are you doing??!!!" he pushed her away and look. It is not Lady Elizebeth! its an old lady... she was the cleaner of the castle!

After a while in the pouring rain a far sound could be heard "...... j...o...n...!", he looks out at the window as that is where the sound seems to be coming from... he puts his head out of the window and the sound came clearer... "JON!!!! what are you doing there??!!!!!!!! I am here!!!!!" He looked it was Elizebeth in the other tower with her mother and her sister. He rushed down the spiraling stairs embarrased but still eager to meet his lady. He ran across the courtyard under the rain and then across Lucard and asked him "Why didnt you told me?" Lucard replied " It was raining milord, I wasnt sure too". Jon rushed up the stairs then when he came to the door of the tower... he could smell the smell he remembered, the lovely smell of lavender. Lady Elizebeth was standing there looking at her knight drenched. She was so happy as he mom and sister was trying not to laugh at the farce that have just happened. She followed him down the stairs and into the carriage. She asked him "How could you forget where I stay?" he answered "It was raining so heavily for I was lost in the middle of this busy shower from the skies..., but i found you have I not?" They both smiled and embraced each other awhile then they kissed as they are riding into the sunset... and they live happily ever after... haha

Monday, November 27, 2006


This will be my 90th post in this blog and when i started blogging... i will never have thought that the 90th post will be the most meaningful one for me. Throughout the past posting... i have been thru so many things and now this 90th post i would love to dedicate it to this one special person.

The person that changed my life. The person that gave me light in the darkness. Her smile... that smile... the crescent of ray that could melt a thousand hearts. Yes this may sound boring already as i have spoken about it countless times in my past few blogs... but i can never stop it melting my heart, and i can never stop saying it. The smile is just so serene and sweet. Its like watching the sunrise from the horizon in a beautiful morning. It showers warmth to the life and break the darkness of the night. I have now found a new source of inspiration. I just cant find the words to describe this feeling i am going thru now and i dont think i can ever find it coz no words is good enough to describe this... I just cant get enough of it... I just cant... waiting to meet her seems like eternity... and when i am with her time flies so fast that i hope it will just stop and let me spend time with her forever. The smell of her hair when i hug her is so addictive as if it is a drug that no rehab can cure. The voice that seems like music to my ears... so melodious. Her enthusiasm is so infectious that it will effect the people around her. She laughs i laugh... she smiles i smile...

I said it and i am gonna say it again and again and again... the past one and a half month 42 days to be exact... have been one of the most magical time in my life, the temperature seems to maintain at the hot level... raised a little, drop a little but it still maintains its perfect temperature. I would like to say THANK YOU for coming into my life! Lady Shereen Simon Dulau. the princess to my heart...

Monday, November 20, 2006


5 weeks.... 5 weeks! That is one month one week! Some may not even pass it and i passed it with so much magic and passion. They say after the hot period is over everything goes back to normal! Things settles down... But not for me... I feel that everything will never ever be back to normal again coz this I hope this will last forever! Till today every sms and call still elevates the heart to another level and dimension and it makes you smile. When she is around it feels like there are nothing else matters but us. The skies seems brighter and blue-er when this happens. There is still so many things to talk even there is nothing to talk. While embracing, the world stops and hope that it will never end! ever...! Holding her hands still softens every heart and creates a static. Every single thing that comes in the mind be it a mind boggling event or a happy thought, her image calms everything down and lightens every situation. The smile still melts the heart. and her presence still creates that euphoria and serenity! Just sitting there looking at her quietly is so much enjoyment. For some it is a bore for just looking at someone... for some... it is admiring the most beautiful view ever. The song dont want to miss a thing from aerosmith makes more sense now after being together. Before that it is just nice lyrics... now it is describing how i feel!

It so happens that everytime we come together the sky will shower us with tranquilising drops. A gift from the big guy perhaps. Showering us with eternal bond. Just like how they say u can never break the flow of a river. The tranquilising rain drops reminds me of that saying. Even if it is a storm or just a drizzle... it all starts from a single drop and ends up with a river. No rock, wall or even barrier can stop the flow of this river. It will only make it more rapid and rough but the river still flows.

l'amour... amor... love... oh so beautiful...

*FLASH !!!!*.... *THUNDER !!!*....*RAYNE !!!!!*

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


A relationship after one month.... well 3 weeks 2 days and 19 hrs... The feeling that the bond is getting really close. Although there are times of mistakes but a relationships is all about trials and errors... forgive and forget.. of course the errors are small ones. This is such a wonderful feeling. before this there has always been the feeling of emptiness and lonesome. There is no target or focus. Even there is a target or focus, they are dead or just stationary such as items or goals. But when it comes to a relationship the target and focus has been added with colors and life. It gives a new meaning of achieving your goals. It gives you even more incentive and purpose. It motivates you further more. Allowing you to reach a level you never thought tat u can reach before this. For some who dont understand this... well you can take religion as an example. Why pray? so that your mind will be focused... you have one aim and one focus... In a relationship is the same... it helps you focus, just tat this one talks back! hehe. and it is not written in the books. It is more of affection and love that gives you that special strength to move that extra mile... reach the unreachable... think the unthinkable and do the impossible...

Why? in my article BEEP i have explained all the special elements that makes this feat happens. It makes you wan to protect something that is so dear to you and not hurt it. Tat is the thing that makes you achieve the unachievable. And that my friends... is a wonderful feeling
Ever heard of house sitting?? yea yea... it is similiar to babysitting just tat u have to sit in da house and tek care of the house! damn its boring doing that. It not boring in a way... with all the entertainment in the house... big tv, astro, radio.... just tat i somehow feel i have the freedom to do anything in the house yet i feel confined! It is a weird feeling. I just sit there the whole nite like a fool watching astro, and the worse part is tat i dun feel really comfortable at all. Coz i cant sleep. Every one hour i will automatically wake up to check the place.... damn i feel more like a security guard rather then just an occupant of the house. I dun even feel comfortable to sleep in da room and ended up sleeping on the couch. I just dont know what to do. i am kinda blur. I have to sit there the whole day! and when i leave the house i feel worried coz its my responsibility and that feeling just sucks! Luckily shereen manage to lighten me up with a few sms-es and it made my nite sitting there alone.

Somehow now i understand why ppl feel homesick when they go overseas or outstation. I miss my home. This is just different than going to camp or vacation... or just staying in a rented room... this is like going to work! haha. just tat my job is just to sit there and stone in front of the tv the whole time~! well tonite is my last nite as the owner of the house is coming back tomolo. When i was in tat house wit my fren (owner's son) it is different. And being there alone its another different feeling.

2 sleepless nite is just weird.... and when i got home just now b4 i go to gym... i lie on my bed and it is such a comfortable feeling... i feel secure... lol. Maybe its just me or i am just taught not to be a free loader.... maybe... maybe... maybe....

Monday, October 30, 2006

Revelation not so revolution!

How bad can we get..!!! Went to the recharge revelation rave last saturday and after all the hype and hiatus with all the build up and shits... i was utterly dissapointed. Number one... the venue got further and further from the main selling place KL n PJ. Yea they sold it mostly in this two place and changed the venue from Port Dickson to A'farmosa resort melacca. Never mind that this is the worse part! it ended at 1am... cmon... even bangsar dont close so early!!!! Their excuse... local authorities gave an order! How bad can it get... after all the fabled stories i heard about ppl dancing till they cant feel their feet and party till u can barely move... or sweat till ur underwear is soaking ... i barely drench my underwear ..heck my shirt is barely wet..!!! they got a nice area coz its spacious and very airy... yea yea... i was there for only 3 hrs... or less... Well at least i had my fun... i really pity those real 'ravers' only arriving at 1230!!! worse i pity those that came at 1!!!! hahaha. come here to go back!!! Imagine... ppl actually travelled all the way from KL just to attend for 30 mins??!!! OMG!!! farking ell'!!!! But i enjoyed my time there coz of the company i had... Thank u for being there!!! june n Shereen!!! haha.

I guess there wont be a rave anytime soon again... the music was nice but I still think they didnt really rock the dance floor just yet... dun get me wrong... the music is good... but not good enuff yet... didnt have that buzz that makes u wanna jump around.... jump jump jump!!! If they can actually do wut wyclef did in the forces of nature concert...or wut prodigy did in thet one hour jam in kl tower! i can tell u even if it is half n hour it will be well worth it!!!!! But i am still f*cking furious...!!!! and i am sure many others will feel the same way too!!!!! i can hear ppl shoutin' "kena tipu!!!!" how can this happen??!!!!! how?? imagine.. when the thing stopped at 1am... even the drinks store stopped selling drinks!!! how can!!! at least sell soft drinks la... can see so obvious there are boxes of drinks behind left!!! so dissapointing... SO DISSAPOINTING!!!!!

There are also certain funny part during the rave also... i manage to witness an uncle having a mohawk... such weird sight!!! and gals tat dont know how to dress up! showing off her curves!!! and i mean alot of curves... in one small area!!!! and the shufflers pants looks like its from outer space... okok honestly some of them looks really hideous! it looks like cloths taken from the police or fireman's overcoats with the reflectors!!! but some looks ok on the wearer!

But luckily i had my enjoyable time at melacca town. had nice food... satay celup, wantan mee, chee cheong fun and CENDOL!!!! woohoo... hehee.. at least la... made up for my trip down to the historical town!!!

Monday, October 23, 2006


It is just so special feeling. Tat feeling is so different. Every morning thinking about her is like a breath of fresh air. Makes you wanna stand up and get ready for the day yet makes you wan to lie down on the bed and listen to her voice. When the phone rings, the first person tat comes to mind is her.Her voice bringhtens up the day. If a sms arrives on the phone you are eager to see is it her sms or not, And if it is her sms you will just smile and your heart elevates to a higher level. When you hold her hand, static generates around the hand and the touch softens every heart. When you miss her, the whirling around the chest starts to occur. That whizzing feeling around the chest and guts. When you go out with her you hope that it will never end. And as if you got so many things to talk about even when there is nothing else to talk. When you look at her face and she smiles your heart melts and beats faster at the same time. You feel like sharing everything you have with her. Every special moment you want to celebrate with her. Every good things happens you want to let her enjoy it too. She is the light when there is darkness....... ahhh l'amour

Monday, August 21, 2006

BOLLOCKS... just bollocks!

For the past few years i was struggling to overcome this fact that i cant play any sports that can hurt my back. Due to my insanely fragile back... i have to stop playing the game i enjoy and love, the game that runs in my blood even as i am typing now. The moment i heard from the doctor that i have to give up the game i love totally shattered my life. I cant even remember when i started to play this game. Well it was unavoidable as my granpa n dad were the masters of this game during their heyday. I would really love to follow their footsteps but sadly this f*cking tragedy have to happen to me. Just two days ago i was talking to my granma about this game as we saw it on tv, then she started telling me tales of my granpa. "How good a shooter he is... and how my dad followed his footsteps" Wearing the same number and representing the same team... well ppl said family fortunes never last more then 3 generations, well i guess its true. The glory ended with me. I inherited the skills and moves and the passion but i just couldnt blossom. Really fustrating...! sigh!

I can still remember when i really took this game seriously, it was when i went to secondary school. I would play whenever i can find time. I will play at my home porch shooting imaginary rim at the balcony or play after school under the scorching sun for hours till my dad pick me up after work or ask my dad to train/play wit me during sunday mornings. Even then, I enjoy the challenge of playing wit ppl better and older then me and trying my best to perform way beyond my limit just to tell them i am no small kid or push over. then again,Or am i just trying to live up to my family tradition...?

Everytime when i have a date wit my frens to play this game, i will arrive one hour early just to make sure i am fully prepared for the game by shooting for almost one hour from all over the court. Due to my looks then(short, plump, fair and a specky guy), people usually assume that i am those pampered kid tat just plays this game for fun... lousy and weak... how i know? they pick all the players for the team and i was the one pick last as the other team needs one more player! but then during the game i will usually show them i am not by sinking all my shots whenever i get the chance from all over the court. The beautiful sound of the ball entering straight in the middle of the rim and blasting thru the net... *chooop* and the silence after that... and the reaction on people's face. That is the feeling of unbelievable joy... that it became so addictive. Till one time when ever my frens will pass the ball to me in the game they know its definately hitting the target. *chooop*.... *chooop*.... *chooop*... due to that addiction to that feeling and sound, it made me hate losing, so somehow or rather after a long tiring game, i will dig into my guts to find that extra energy to sink in my stinger just to listen and feel the sound and see the joy in my team mates face... that ever beautiful sight and sound. Ask anyone that plays this game they will say the same thing. The beautiful sound *choope*!

I always love being the underdogs... even now. Coz winning with the underdog tag is so much more satisfying. As u get to see ur opponents reaction when they lose to people that is inferior to their eyes, realising that everyone can achieve greatness if given a chance and never underestimate anything!

Even moments b4 i injure my back... i was playing for my course in my college. We were the underdogs as my course has a really small intake so we dont really have much players. During then, I so wanted to win. As we are the one everyone said that most likely to get kicked out in the first round, which is same as the years before... So i played with all my might, dont want to be the 'again lose' team and make some difference. But i guess i just dont have the chance! sigh! After around 10 mins into the game, i heard a snap.. and i feel a sharp aching pain in my lower right back. Right below my kidneys (i think)... I still carried on as i am one of the biggest n tallest player in my team. There was a rebound and i jump n reach it... 3 more other opponents jumped along wit me. Usually when comes to this situation i can usually out maneuver them but now i couldnt find the strength and got nudge out of the way and i fell on the hard concrete court. Everyone was giggling as i, the big fella got out powered by smaller guys... i didnt care as i couldnt stand up as my back gave way. i tried to pushed myself up and my fren came and help me to the bench. I could hardly stand up. After the game, (sadly we lost!... again) I have to force myself to walk to my car, my body tilting to one side coz if stand straight the pain will get so bad.

Went home and rested for 2 days. The pain recided and just slight tightness at the back. It was my sem break, so i headed to genting h'lands wit my buddies. When we reached there the weather hit me. My back started to hurt again. I was sweating like a pig in the cold and windy genting highlands! my frens got shocked wit my reaction (Cold weather.... sweating alot... hmm it dont go together). I told them about the pain... then they accompany me back down to KL. It was then i started my 4 months of psychotic amount of treatments from chinese massage sinseh to the specialist. I practically went through almost all type of treatments from normal massage to 'guat sa' aka sand digging to physiotherapy to acupuncture just to heal my back. This was then when the doc told me that i have to stop playing this game. The heartbreak was really unbearable.... just couldt take it for the moment... got over it... abit after a few months.

I stopped playing this game for almost 2 years already. As i manage to injure my back again one year after the great injury where the doc told me to stop. One of the slowest n lowest point in my life. I felt as though i am useless as i cant do alot of things i usually do. I just cant do much with my physical defect now. But i got over it... accepted it and look at life differently now!! Till recently... the old feel has come back. I started playing this game again... well not competitively...nice and slow (almost to walking pace!!) just for a lil' sweat... and to enjoy the feeling of the game again. Almost all my close buddies that knows wut happened to me, plays to my way, where i dun jump or stretch for ball (i'm touched). As much as i want to jump and block opponents rushing in... i just think of the agony i went through... and i just let him pass me...(sigh) Although i lost touch slightly as my fitness drop to quite a low level, but now... after some cycling, lifting some light weights and slight diet control... i can feel the strength and power again... I will never stop playing the game i love... the joy i have wit my dad and frens... and yet again... thet feeling... of satisfaction... I will always love this game... and i will never stop playing Basketball....... ahh crap...

Sunday, July 09, 2006


I just bought a copy of FHM this month and along with that they came the 100 sexiest women poll. Well wit my curiosity i bought 2 copies... one is the Singapore version and another was the Malaysian version, and guess what??! I found out that Malaysian have a better taste... oh wait... or izzit Malaysian girls are just not up to it??.... nah... i prefer the former.... rather then the latter. Malaysian do have good looking local gals... just that... we dun expose them as much as singaporeans do... really... Our top 20 there is only 3 local gals... well 4, if u include channel v vj, sarah tan... the singaporean that is virtually unknown in her own country... well too bad singapore... we get to enjoy ur gals more...hehe. Hannah Tan was our highest pick.. at 4th... and of course our beloved pulpy lips Amber Chia. and Daphne Iking... whereas compared to singapore's top 20 they have 7... and a singaporean at no.1!! patriotic? or just tasteless?? i really got no idea...

But how can singaporeans leave out Giselle Bundchen...or Gwen Stefani...and Jessica Biel not in it too... no place for Kate Bekinsale? arrgh... Eva Mendes also takde!! Rachel McAdams, Shannon Elizabeth also dun hev... hmmm... why oh why...

But one thing i have to admit is that the pics in the spore version is so much more... exposed... in a way no wonder they go for the local gals... they manage to expose more the the malaysian counterparts!! almost all of the local spore gals are in... yes... bikini's!!! arrgh.... but but... Giselle 'never ending legs' Bundchen wor... and Kate 'Vampiress' Bekinsale.... and Shannon 'nadia the foreign girl' Elizabeth wor... sigh... tsk tsk...

End of the day... Malaysians are a better judge compared to Singaporeans... or maybe we are prefer foreign meat... who knows... who knows... only Malaysians can answer that... i voted for a singaporean... sarah tan..


Monday, July 03, 2006

greetings from down under... malaysia

Here i am in the land of the fake lion..... singa-pura... i am sitting here in front of my cousin's pc... looking at the window where i can see an oil refinery blowing fire out of the chimney... from my aunt's 25th floor apartment. sigh... no matter how much they did for me... i still have this thing for singapore... i dunno why... just dont feel at home. maybe i am so used to the 'selekeh' and chocked up air lifestyle of my own malaysia where i call home. But one thing for sure is their air is cleaner and their public transport have this ethic where they make sure they are always punctual.. that i have to give them. and their toilets in shopping malls are all clean... unlike some of malaysian's shopping mall. charge so much and it still stinks and lack of proper service.

Tomolo i am gonna meet this fren of my couz to see if i can get a job here. ironic eh... i dun really like this country and i am now seeking a career here. but that is just a big IF i get it. just a informal meeting wit the peeps and see if things goes well.

i just ate a plate of singapore nasi lemak and guess wut... the rice is ok but the sambal is a disgrace! it sweet and not spicy at all... aww man... i love spicy sambals... but i also gotta give it to their tv... they actually have E! tv here... man.. all the gossip and entertainment news 24/7!! i just saw the 101 hollywood make overs and found out the skanky britanny murphy was a geeky nerdy chick! hahaha. they showed...."from this.... to this!!..."and of course their broadband is soooooooo much faster then our own streamyx!!! or izzit maybe its just the better more efficient server...i dunno but hurrah for that!!!

well i am gonna be here for another 2 days might as well breath enough of clean city air b4 i head back to own sweet home... where i can walk around naked and not feel uncomfortable...kaka.... i really meant it... no joke... ... ... alrite alrite... half naked.... hehehe.... till then.... over and out...

-junsern spore 3 july 2006-

Monday, June 26, 2006

bored like shit...

i just translated the du hast song into english... sounds weird... duhast -rammstien

du du hast
du hast michx2
du hast mich gefragt
du hast mich gefragt
du hast mich gefragt,
und ich hab nichts gesagt

Willst du bis der Tod euch scheidet
treu ihr sein für alle Tage
Nein, nein
Willst du bis der Tod euch scheidet
treu ihr sein für alle Tage
Nein, nein
Willst du bis zum Tod der Scheide,
sie lieben auch in schlechten Tagen
Nein, nein

you you have
you have mex2
you have me asked
you have me asked
you have me asked,
and I nothing said
You want to death you separate
it to be faithful for all days
No, no
You want to death you separate
it to be faithful for all days
No, no
You want up to the death of the sheath,
it love also in bad days
No, no

Saturday, June 17, 2006


D- Generation X is back too!!! yeah!!!! D-X!!!! yeah... now wanna watch wwe again... aakkakaka
KANE is back....!!! but damn he looks diff.... i think its some crap fella acting as him ler... then again... his structure seems different. coz cmon... i have his poster in my room! hahaha. but then again... the old kane man... whooooooooooooooo yeah!

wwe here i come!

Wednesday, May 31, 2006


After witnessing what MY-TEAm did to the national squad (for ur info... MY team is a football team build up by auditions to hand pick normal people that have football skills and go against local football powers). I really dont know whether to feel happy or sorry for both the team. First of all, i wanted MY-Team to win coz it will send out a message to local football organisation, that given the chance there are many good players in the country. But in the other hand, it is also a sucker punch to FAM. After spending millions in football development, they just witness a bunch of amateurs almost cause an upset against the national team. Pathetic or what??.. I have nothing more to comment. One side i wanted the National team to get beaten but on the other side... i wanted the national team to raise up to the occasion and trash MY-team. But no, they have to go to the extend of falling down on every tackle and challenge. Even a slightest nudge and they fall like after being hit by a bullet. When the MY-team captain pushed the malaysian player on the shoulder... he fell down holding his face and scream in agony as if he got punched. One word... SISSYFIED! BAPOKS! FAGS! I have said it and i said it again... they need to beef up physically and mentally.

And they too are very inconsistent. Just look at MSL... okok.. MALAYSIAN SUPER LEAGUE if u all dont know wut is it. Last season Perlis was champion of malaysia and this season... they struggle to even mount a challenge. Selangor... Treble winners... wowwee... whoopee... and look at them now, bottom of the league. and luckily the FAM changed the format for next season where they wanted to add teams to the league. so now selangor have the chance to stay in the top flight. This is the problem in Malaysian football. Consistensy. There is none so far. Look at other leagues... there is always this few teams that mantain. Well what i think is the malaysian league has gone too many changes to up the standard. where i think they should stick to the old style league system and not change the name or system. Simple and more challenging.
In the end... most important is the MENTALITY of the players. whether they want to improve or not.

"It is better to learn late than never."
-publilus syrus-

"Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for love of it."
-henry David thoreau-

Saturday, May 13, 2006


Malaysian drivers are assholes! wow what a way to start a blog.. kakaka. hmmm its been sometime since i blogg-ed. went into a psychotic dillusional phase recently... i started talking to pillows and cd's. kakakkaa... i am not kidding. hehe. anyway... i just thought of this issue that day... malaysian drivers dun actually give a damn about road signs or road rules. its like when they say the speed limit is 90km/h we will purposely go to the limit... we go 100km/h... and when it is 50km/h... we say its nonsense.... and go 80km/h. sigh... champion la u all. Zebra crossing... this is a funny one... when i was in S'pore... i was crossing the zebra crossing... when i was crossing it... i saw a car coming i moved faster and cross the road... and my spore cousin ask me why i ran... well i told her... 'have you been in msia??' . The sporean car actually stopped and let us cross... so i tot it was ok la. the next zebra crossing i just take my time and cross... and out of all odds... a car sped through the corner... and suddenly jam braked... i was shocked... and guess wut i saw... msian car... kakkakaa. dammit... the car stopped not bcoz he saw the zebra crossing... well he saw me and my cousin in da middle of the road! hehehe. So typical msians... Another thing... i was walking by s'pore's orchard road...traffic is heavy and i took a deep breath... and i never sneeze or cough or suffocate... tat is how clean they are.... although i dun really like the country... but i have to put this up for them man... well done... try walking at Jalan Bukit Bintang and take a deep breath. U will pass out that instantly!!! *cough*cough*... pengsan~~... kakakka.

This is the most annoying part. My housing area have a bunch of really bone headed dimweeds that have o common sense or any respect to the rule. They will rev their 'no money to buy a good car so i add a loud exhaust to my car to make it cool sounding' car... in da middle of the night!!! zooming around a children playground... thinking its one of the fast and furious scene!!! well that is not fast and furious.. that is just f*cked and furious!!! brainless pricks... they actually zoom past so many times in da evening too! when there is kids running around the area... i would really wait if one day a kid will get bang... and i will lead a bunch of mothaf*ckers and whack the living shit out of that driver! just so ingnorant!!!! wanna rev or show off cars go la to jln bukit bintang or sultan ismail... oh ya... u cant... coz ur car is a crap car... cant keep up wit those 'real' race cars.... tsk tsk... malu la eh... its ok i understand... u r trying to keep it real...

well that all about it... nothing more to bitch about anymore... for now...

"dee deedeee"
-carlos mencia-

Wednesday, April 26, 2006


this is the song best for my situation now...

Daniel Powter - Had a Bad Day

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day

Saturday, April 22, 2006


Amazin isnt it??!!! i think i am going to buy one of this air-cond now!!!! who would have thought... LG...found the cure... wow.... whoa... wooooo.... !!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

aihs... damn bored

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'."

"The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they're not mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, 'If you'd done that in the movie, you'd have won an Oscar, girl!" -(At the Academy Awards as Host)

"If a bullet cost $5000, there'd be no more innocent bystanders."

-chris rock-

"I've got 40 Nations ready to roll son!" [guy from crowd] "Like Who?" "Who the fuck said that? Like who? England. Japan's sendin' PlayStations... Stankonia said they are willing to drop bombs over Baghdad."

"Look at that magic marker. What, you think that's some kind of crayon?!? Take the cap off, sniff it and get high!"

"They got this character on there named Oscar.. They treat this guy like SHIT, the entire show. 'Oscar you're SO mean.. isn't he kids?' 'Yeah Oscar, you're a GROUCH' It's like, 'BITCH, I LIVE IN A FUCKING TRASH CAN! I'm the poorest motherfucker on Sesame Street! Nobody's helpin' me.' And then you wonder why your kids grow up and step over homeless people. 'Get a job, Grouch!'"

Don't even tell me how to get to Sesame Street. That is a terrible place; I wouldn't go there if I knew the way. 6 foot pigeons walkin' around, and an elephant thats a junkie. 'Hiiii Berrrt.'"

How come they ain't found Biggie and 2-Pac's murderers, but they arrest O.J. the next day. Nicole Simpson can't rap! I want justice, this whole court is out of order!

And as I sip my soda, that I'm sure somebody spit in, I just would like to say to all of you, kiss my ass you rotten mothafuckas, now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go home and put some water in Buc Nasty's mama's dish.

What can I say about that suit that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan; It looks bombed out and depleted.

-dave chappelle-

"Jamaica would never make an atomic bomb. They may make an atomic bong. But I'd rather fight a war with the atomic bong because when the atomic bomb goes off there's devastation and radiation, when the atomic bong goes off there's celebraaaaaation!"

"If it's the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number?"

"... And FROGS, fell from the sky! Maybe they fell from the sky or maybe there were a bunch of Jews with catapults going, "NOW!"

--In a Scottish Accent-- "Here's my idea for a fucking sport... I knock a ball in a gopher hole... Oh you mean like pool... Fuck off pool, not with a straight stick with a lil fucked up stick I whack the ball it goes in a gopher hole... Oh you mean like croquet... FUCK CROQUET! I put the hole hundreds of yards away oh Fuck off yeah... Oh like a bowling thing... Fuck no not straight. I put shit in the way like trees and bushes and high grass so you can loose your fucking ball and go whacking away with a fucking tire iron, whacking away and each time you miss you feel like you're gonna have a stroke. Fuck that’s what we'll call it a stroke, cause every time you miss you feel like your gonna fucking die. Oh great and here's the better part oh fuck this is brilliant right near the end I'll put a flat piece with a lil flag to give you fucking hope but then I'll put a pool and a sandbox to fuck with your ball again. I'll be there crashing your ass jerking away in the sand... Oh and you do this one time... FUCK NO! 18 Fucking times! WOOO!!!"

"Beer commercials usually have big men, manly men doing manly things: 'You just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer.' Why not a realistic beer commercial like, 'It's five o'clock in the morning. You just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time.'"

"They're talking about partial nuclear disarmament. That's also like talking about partial circumcision. Same thing. You either go all the way or fucking forget it! You know what I'm saying."

"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

-robin williams-

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

-jim carrey-

Wednesday, April 12, 2006


my version of chimera.. kakkaka... taken from warcraft.

Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.

Here some more men who oughta be strapped to a gurney and castrated with fishing knives. White guys who shave their heads completely bald. They're so ashamed they lost eleven hairs, they try to turn it to some kind of a masculine statement. I say hey, you goofy-lookin' baldy-headed fuck! Looks good on black guys, on you it's ugly, repulsive and disgusting. You wanna be bald? Do what I did - wait awhile. In the meantime there's no excuse for runnin' around lookin' like a freshly circumsized dick.

Thou shalt not kill. Murder. The fifth commandment. But if you think about it...if you think about it, religion has never really had a problem with murder. Not really. No, more people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason. All you have to do...all you have to do is look at slavery, the Middle East, the Crusades, the Inquisition, the Holocaust, and the World Trade Center, and you'll see how seriously the religious folks take "Thou Shalt Not Kill." The more devout they are...the more devout they are, the more they see murder as's negotiable. It depends, you know? It depends, it depends on who's doing the killing, and who's getting killed.

-george carlin-

Monday, April 10, 2006


this is the sketch i drew on my fren's lighter...well the one on my fren's on got color la. i did this 3 years ago... and my fren lost his lighter... damn

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Love or be loved

L'amour... oh l'amour... something that cannot be detected or cannot be stopped. Its something that hit you when you least expected it... and when it hits you it blind you and send you into a semi reality state. Well i have heard a fair share of love stories n problems. One thing i am still curious is alot of ppl boast about the shits that they gonna do... i will this... i wont let that... i am sure i am this... somethings i cannot bla bla bla bla...

And i notice when they enter the l'amour arena... they just turn around and say the totally opposite things or do the things they say they wont do. Thats why i usually dont wanna say anything about this love love thing... coz i do not know wut i will do in da name of love... really... alot of people deny it... but when comes the time... they just crash head on... and still smile... this is the beauty and the beast of love.

One thing i dont understand is why can some people rather die if someone leaves them... that is just bullshit man... plain stupidity. Although it blinds you but ur common sense is still burning clear! What ever happened to ..move on... or life goes on... ?? For what i learn from my own experience... is what ever happened... we must make it just another chapter of our lives and not making our lives this chapter! get it? ok simpler... dont make ur life around it but make it just another event that happened in your life... learn from it and move on.

Sappy? hell yeah... you can say that... but i can tell you everyone of you will go through this phase... and when it hits you... u'll know..... even the thoughest guy or gal will eventually end up soft... just see... u know it...

Ppl will say that i dun have enuff experience or right to say this but wtf! i am still gonna say it anyway >>
Guys... if u dun like the gal... dun la play ppls feelings... n gals... dun la get too attached so fast! always give space n time to learn ur partner first...

f*ck now i am giving advice pulak... nvm.. community service....

Monday, March 27, 2006


I just realised that malaysians are good at sports that dont require any physical contact, and sports that physical size dont come into matters. For example, after watching the melbourne commonwealth games recently, i realised that the sports that malaysians excel in is in all the sports that dont need size or contact! Hockey for one, yea u all will say that its a physical contact sport, but after watching malaysia triumph over england, i only understand why malaysians do well in hockey. The sport is more of a gentlemen sport. Barely any physical contact, cmon... think of it if the players are all to lose their temper like football due to some physical contact... i dont want to be in the middle of the pitch! 22 men with weapons running against each other! Another sport is badminton n squash. We excel in these games because it requires more grit and determination rather than size. of course if u are taller u can do certain moves but in this game different sizes got their different advantages. One more that i am kinda suprised when i watch the CG. Lawn bowl... a young lady manage to overcome odds and beat a older n more experience player! haha... a young person winning a older person's sports...

So from now on i know which sport to support and which one not to.

"it is not what your country can do for you, it is what you can do for your country"

Friday, March 24, 2006


The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid term.The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and therate they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that Exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by a girl I knew, Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year who said, "?that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

The student received the only "A" given.

JOB VACANCY- damn funny

Uncle Ho Holdings, Malaysia's largest manufacturer,distributor and organisation. From retailer of quality pirated and bootleg VCDs, DVDs, Audio CDs, CD-ROMs seeks suitable candidates for our rapidly expanding our humble beginnings in Petaling Street in 1998, we are currently operating more than 68,000 outlets in the Klang Valley & Johor Baru. We have managed to secure at least 4 stalls outside every convenience shop, 8 stalls outside every coffee shop and 50 stalls at every pasar malam. We're expanding into every housing and commercial areas, making us the biggest outdoor retailing company in the world with over 16 million discs sold daily. Our high-tech multi million ringgit manufacturing facilities are now operated on ships anchored in international waters to circumvent local copyright laws. We are gearing for an IPO (Initial Public Offering) and are in the process of applying for MSC status as Malaysia's largest multimedia company.

Our Mission Statement
- To provide Malaysian youths with employment and a stable source of income.

- To help promote Malaysia as the top regional technology and multimedia hub in the true spirit of 'Malaysia Boleh'.

- To make available in Malaysia the latest blockbuster 30 days before its international release.

- To fight American hegemony by reducing the profits of Hollywood studios and Bill Gates.

- To place a stall every 25 feet on every five foot way throughout Malaysia.

- To reduce the rate of defective discs to 25%.

- To send every VHS player into early retirement and to achieve total extinction of the format by 2004.

Be a Franchisee
We offer exciting and profitable franchising opportunities for retrenched workers, unemployed individuals and ex-convicts. Set-up cost is a low RM 500, including an inventory of 150 titles, portable iron stands, plywood and red table cloth. As the franchisor, we'll provide you with protection against local gangsters, unsatisfied customers, enforcement officers and post bail if required. All confiscated items are our responsibilty and will be returned to you within 2 working days. You will be rotated with other resellers from nearby areas to reduce the rate of return or exchange for defective copies. For an additional investment of RM 1200, a battered 25 year old car will be provided as a mobile store. As part of the Uncle Ho Network, you'll be provided with access to VIEWST (VCD Inspectors Early Warning System). By placing well trained informers in every enforcement agency, we're able to eliminate the 'surprise element'. While we take every precaution to warn you of impending raids, we highly recommend the purchase of an unlicensed walkie talkie. You'll be able to network with other franchisees through the wireless system and receive additional news and warnings. As the largest purchaser of Motorola GP300 Walkie Talkies, we're also able to supply you units at very attractive prices.

Join Us Full Time - Vacancies Available (KL / PJ /Cyberjaya)

Reseller (26,000 positions, Nationwide).
Job Description: Operate mobile five foot way stalls.
Requirements: Chinese males aged 12 - 22 with blond hair only.
(Possession of own waist pouch to store X-Rated titles will be an added advantage.)
Benefits: Flexi-hours and additional one 'day off' each year during major annual operasi.

Graphic Artist (3 positions, Cyberjaya)
Job Description: Design covers/inlays for movie titles.
Requirements: Very rudimentary knowledge of Photoshop 1.0. Copy latest movie listings from IMDB's website. (Ability to design porno-looking covers for mediocre family movies will be an added advantage.)
Benefits: Free 10 copies of (pirated) software programs every month.

Camera Operator (15 positions, Klang Valley)
Job Description: Film movies being screened in cinemas without being noticed.
Requirements: Ability to hand hold a camcorder without any shake for 90 minutes. (Ability to hold your cough for 90 minutes and munch popcorn silently is an added advantage.)
Benefits: Free popcorn and movie passes every month.

Purchasing Officer (1 position, Cyberjaya)
Job Description: To buy back consficated items at a reasonable price.
Requirements: Good negotiation skills. Ex-employees of city and town councils are encouraged to apply.
Benefits: Easy settling of parking summons and other fines.

Please send your resume to:
The Group Human Resource Manager.
Syarikat Kumpulan Uncle Ho VCD DVD CD CD-ROM,
Holdings & Group Of Companies (Malaysia) (1998) Sdn Bhd.


Community Service / News / Promotions
- Meet The Fans & Autograph Session with the charming stars of 'Pramugara' on Monday, 12th May 2003, 8:30pm at Uncle Ho's Anchor Stall, SS2 Pasar Malam, Petaling Jaya. Check for future events on this page or here.

- In a hurry, too shy or too lazy to ask? Our VCDs & DVDs now come with hologram security stickers indicating 'Clear Copy', 'Cinema Copy' or 'Sum Kup'.

- 628 recently released inmates of Kajang Prisons were hired as
resellers under our 'Care Program'. Being a sensitive employer, Uncle Ho exempts them from selling brutal prison flicks like 'Hell Hole', 'Penitentiary' & 'Brubaker'.

- As a responsible corporate citizen, we provide
free Video-to-VCD conversion for all MAS cabin crew*.

- We offer 70% discount on all un-sellable indie,
art house, foreign-language and award-winning Iranian movies as our way of promoting quality films to the masses.

- Mother's Day Special - Special pack of 10 movies to watch with your mother non-stop this Sunday. Guaranteed no sex scenes.

- Promotional price: RM 30. New stalls opening in front of KLIA Main Terminal
Building this June & in Taman Negara this July.

- Founder & Executive Chairman Uncle Ho was barred
from the recent 16th Malaysian Film Festival. As the only viable distribution channel for local movies, Uncle Ho is saddened by the shoddy treatment accorded him.

- Uncle Ho Holdings donated RM 85000 to replace the escalator at Imbi Plaza which broke down 3118950 times.

Uncle Ho Menyokong MSC, Wawasan 2020, Malaysia Boleh, Peace Malaysia,Beli Barangan Buatan Malaysia, Kempen Cara Hidup Sihat, Kempen Anti Denggi, Kempen Kitar Semula & Kempen Membanteras Cetak Rompak operated on ships anchored in international waters to circumvent local copyright laws.

*all names and characters here are made up and got nothing to do with the living or the dead but only for the dimweeds who supports this..*

Thursday, March 23, 2006


Those who are now over 40, is allowed to have only one answer wrong.

Those who got 2 questions wrong, should visit a neurologist for brain-function checkup
Those who got 3 questions wrong, should see the doctor immediately for medication
Those who got 4 questions wrong, should now register with a nursing home closeby
Those who got all questions wrong, should be sent to the old folks home immediately

Please read instructions carefully,

Test for Dementia
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately.

Let's find out just how clever you really are....

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, ! OK?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...? (scroll down)
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?..hahah...

You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 . Add another 1000 . Now add 20 ! . Now add another 1000 Now add 10 . What is the total?
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!

Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
He just has to open his mouth and ask...!! hahahahhaa....

how many did u manage to answer correctly? all? none? muahhahaha... dimweeds

Tuesday, March 14, 2006


Death is just another part of life. in every life there is death. I've been sitting down and wonder where do we go after death... is it just the end of the road or do we go somewhere else? Well many religion claims that after we depart we will be sent to either heaven or hell or we will just wait for judgement day... some even says that we go to another world, some says we go to the underworld. But honestly... where do we go actually? no one could tell. But why some poor souls just cant take the fact that every life there is death? why chase immortality? why? is it because we have too many precious things that we do not wish to part with... loved ones, possessions, and almost everything else as they fear that they will not get to spend time with anymore. Some is so afraid of death as they are afraid that the amount of sins they commit will send them to hell or to eternal damnation. If that is so why cant we appreciate and precious what we have now and not be afraid of death itself? Live life to what u think satisfactory level and have no regrets or heavy heart when u leave.

You may say i am thinking too much... yes i DO have lotsa free time but really honestly and sincerely... i do not think there is heaven or hell. when we go... our shell will be recycled back to mother earth itself after death... that is the basic cycle of life. Coz if u think about it... why is there only humans that have heaven n hell? what about sealions? snakes? what about ants? bees? salamander? snails? they too are part of this world as a living being... do they have heaven too? why do we say dogs go to heaven? it is because we 'think' there is one... as we are too attached to them... we said that so we can have a peace of mind when they depart knowing that they have gone somewhere good...

What i think about this heaven and hell thing doesnt really make any logic yet i want to believe that there is one...But if u are suppose to be sent to hell for the sins that u have done then i can most probably say that hell is already overflowing with souls and heaven is just filled with a handful...

Heaven and hell are made up to scare humans so that they wont do any evil... and serve the human race better by doing more good... that is just the simple fact... BE NICE TO OTHERS.... Still dont think what i am saying is making any sense? Still dont want to accept the reality? Think about the story of heaven n hell... think again..clear your mind and think how it is formed... and what purpose it serves and if u manage to read it and understand it and there is many mistakes i said... then i will admit i am wrong, that is if u can convince me.

I may sound like a hyprocrit coz i wrote before about that the spirit thingy... but recently after hearing one of my close family friend passed away and how she fought through cancer just to be with her family... tells me that humans are another being in this world fighting to stay alive so that they can be with their loved ones or fight to stay alive for a purpose. That is not the work of any religion... that is the work of human spirit... not the ghost ghost spirit... but the state of mind. the will to carry on living and provide, protect and care. That is the true meaning of human spirit.

i want to believe...

Pippin: I didn't think it would end this way.
Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path... One that we all must take.
Gandalf: The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all change to silver glass...
Gandalf: ...And then you see it.
Pippin: What? Gandalf?... See what?
Gandalf: White shores... and beyond. The far green country under a swift sunrise.
Pippin: Well, that isn't so bad.
Gandalf:No... No it isn't. -imdb-

i really want to....

Sunday, March 12, 2006


a picture of wut motorbikes feels like when i drive in KL

  • Yeah, I'm not into sports. If I had athlete's foot, my first reaction would be, "That's not my fucking foot."
I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get pissed off at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey "Man, just be yourself. I already like you, little brother. You do not need to emulate the other animals. I used to draw you." (Stares at hand.) Man, if you were missing a couple of fingers, you drew one fucked-up turkey. You'd be like, "That turkey's been in an accident.

I went to see a heavy metal band in New York...called Monster Magnet. Man, they were heavy, boy. The lead singer got on the monitor, and he said, "How many of you people feel like human beings tonight?" Then he said, "How many of you feel like animals?" And everyone cheered after the animals part. But the thing is, I cheered after the human being part because I did not know that there was a second part to the question. "Yes, I do feel like a human. I do not feel like a tree."

A Lot of Death Metal bands have intense names like Rigor Mortis or Mortuary or Obituary. We weren't that intense. We just went with "Injured." And later we changed it to "A Cappella"... as we were walkin' out of the pawn shop.

This one time I was in a convenience store, and a guy came up and asked me, "What's the score?" and I said, "What is the game? If it's a competition between me and you, and the object is to ask the other guy questions he doesn't give a shit about, then you are winning, one to nothing."

I asked this guy for directions to the store. He said "Oh, that's just a hop, skip and a jump away." Well... that ain't how I'm getting there. You got any directions for those who are walking?

I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would be really mad if she heard me say that.

I was in a casino, minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move. You're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. Unless you're a table.

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

-mitch hedberg [24 February 1968 - 29 March 2005] thanks for the memories-

Wednesday, March 01, 2006


Have u ever notice that when u drive to work in the morning and u notice the cars beside u or the vehicles beside u... that the cars usually only contains the driver... and no more...or better... ur own car contains u only! no wonder KL is always jam. Every single tom dick and harry drives their own car. Out of 10 car there is a car with a couple of ppl in it. and out of every 100 car u see one car packed with people. And people working in KL dare to complain about the jam... they are the one that cause the jam. OK partly its the system to blame. Coz everyone AROUND KL works in KL and not other places. eg; Almost 80% of PJ, Kajang, Ampang, Kepong and Subang residents works in KL. And after hearing from one of my fren is that his dad, sis and him works in KL. they leave home the same time but they all drives a car each. so imagine... 3 cars from one house. U say will it cause the jam? i think so! The problem is no one works the same time... some start work at 8 some 9 some 10 and after work... some will go here and some there... and another is no one takes the initative too. Some just dont have the patience to wait and some just being plain jerks. Lets just say there is no proper working system in Msia. No point widening the road when more and more people drives themselves to work at the same time. and when there is more cars and there is bottlenecks (4 lanes to 2 lanes...etc.etc...) there is ....yes.... JAM!!! so whats the point of widening.... "be cool, car pool?" dammit.... wont work wan la....

Sunday, February 19, 2006


Just as i promised... second part!

1. Dumb &Dumber
[after Lloyd trades the van in for a moped]
Harry: Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

Llyod: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Harry: I was thinking the same thing.
Llyod: That John Denver is full of shit, man.

Lloyd: Excuse me, Flo, what's the soup du jour?
Flo, Waitress #1: It's The Soup of the Day.
Lloyd: Mmmm... that sounds good; I'll have that.

Harry: Once, we successfully mated a bulldog with a shiatsu.
Mary: Really?
Harry: Yeah, we called it a bullshit.

Lloyd: I'm only human Harry! Come on! So we backtracked a tad!
Harry: A tad? A tad, Lloyd? You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep!
Lloyd: Well, it's not gonna do us any good sittin' here whinin' about it.

[while looking back at Mary]
Lloyd: There's really nothing to worry about Mary. Statistically they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport. You know, like on a head on crash or flying off a cliff or getting trapped under a gas truck! That's the worst! I have this cousin, well y'know, I had this cousin...
Mary: Uh, Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road please?
Lloyd: Oh, yeah! Good thinking. Can't be too careful. Lot of bad drivers out there.

2. Snatch
Avi: Should I call you Bullet? Tooth?
Bullet Tooth Tony: You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.

Turkish: You take sugar?
Brick Top: No thank you, Turkish; I'm sweet enough.

Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony: 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.

Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van]
Tyrone: I didn't see it there.
Vinny: It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. Its not as though its a bag of fucking peanuts, is it?
Tyrone: It was at a funny angle.
[All three turn and look back at the truck]
Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come at you from behind.

Turkish: What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?
Sausage Charlie: Five minutes, Turkish.
Turkish: It was two minutes five minutes ago.

Errol: Fuckface, who's speaking to you? He asked him, didn't he?
Turkish: Fuckface... I like that one Errol. I'll have to remember that one next time I'm crawling off yer mum.

[after hearing about Bullet-Tooth Tony surviving after being shot six times]
Cousin Avi: Six times?
Doug the Head: In one sitting.

Avi: Who is Bullet Tooth...
Charlie: Tony!
Bullet Tooth Tony: You silly fuck.
Doug the Head: He's a liability.
Charlie: You are gonna die Tony!
Charlie: [bang]
Alex Denovitz: He got shot six times, had the bullets molded into gold.
Charlie: I shoot you! You go down!
Charlie: [bang]
Alex Denovitz: He has two in his teeth that dad did for him.
Charlie: Why don't you fucking DIE?
Avi: Six times?
Doug the Head: In one sitting.
Bullet Tooth Tony: [Picks up a sword] Oh your in trouble now.

Turkish: Have you ever crossed the road, and looked the wrong way?
Turkish: a car's nearly on you? So what do you do? Something very silly. You freeze. Your life doesn't flash before you, cos you're too fuckin' scared to think - you just freeze and pull a stupid face.

Sol: What the fuck is that?
Vinny: Heh heh. This, is a shotgun Sol.
Sol: It's a fucking anti-aircraft gun Vincent.
Vinny: So, I wanna raise some pulses don't I?
Sol: You'll raise Hell. Never mind pulses.

Turkish: You aren't exactly Mister Current Affairs are you, Tommy? "Mad Fist" went mad, and "The Gun," shot himself.

3.national Security

Hank: Do you actually believe the crap that comes out of your mouth?
Earl: I'm not really sure until I'm finish talkin'.

Hank: This is a beer keg. It doesn't make any sense.
Earl: It makes sense when you put together the pieces.
Hank: What pieces?
Earl: It's obvious. The CIA, they're smuggling alcohol into the inner city in an effort to further subjugate the black man.

Earl: Your partner got killed. You lost your job. You went to jail. Your wife walked. You know what you are, Hank? You're a black man.

Nash: I thought I shot you. You must be one tough monkey.
Earl: [laughs] You and the monkey jokes huh. Didn't your momma teach you any manners while you were humpin' her?

4.Black Knight
Percival: How dare you deflower the king's daughter.
Jamal: Believe me, someone got to that flower long before I did.

Jamal: Do you have a thong?
Victoria: Excuse me?
Jamal: Never mind. We'll just take an old pair of drawers and cut the ass out.

5.Blue Streak
Miles Logan: Hey, this is the police. Move your busted-ass vehicle. Move, move, move, move. This is the LAPD. We'll pop one in your ass. We got guns and shit.

Miles Logan: What are you gonna do with one shoelace? Floss your ass with it.

Miles Logan: [talking to Deacon] I know you don't want to go to jail in Mexico because nobody wants to go to jail in Mexico. They put all kinds of burritos in your ass.

6.Soul Plane
Captain Mack: This is your soul plane chauffeur Captain Antoine Mack speaking. Welcome aboard NWA flight 069 from the 310 to the 212. It's time to bust this coney y'all. In a hot second, I'll be hittin' them switches and gettin' this bitch pumpin' and jumpin'. So screw your sh*t on tight and enjoy the flight.

7.Rat race
Bev Pear: Your daughter has to go to the bathroom!
Randy Pear: Alright, alright, Jason, look in the back for an empty jar.
Bev Pear: A jar? Girls don't pee in jars.
Randy Pear: Oh, right. Sorry. Jason, we're gonna need a jar and a funnel.

Randy Pear: Jason, put that away, you can't play that.
Jason Pear: Why not?
Randy Pear: Because it's Hitler's harmonica. You can't play Hitler's harmonica.
Jason Pear: You're driving his car!
Randy Pear: Yeah, but I'm not touching it with my mouth. I'm not sucking on the dashboard. I'm not getting his germs!

Enrico Pollini: Am I to late ? Look I won a coin, a gold coin, isn't it wonderful? Look at this room, what a beautiful room, have you seen this room?
Randy Pear: Yes! were in it.

Talking about Sinclair and his idea for them competing in the "race"]
Merrill: It's some sort of joke. It has to be.
Duane Cody: What kind of jackass just gives away $2 million?
Owen Templeton: Maybe it's a publicity stunt.
Randy Pear: What kind of publicity? He swore us all to secrecy.
Vera Baker: Maybe it's a secret publicity stunt.
Randy Pear: A *secret* publicity stunt?

8.Deuce Bigalow
T.J. Hicks: Did you know Holland invented chicken and waffles?
Deuce Bigalow: Really?
T.J. Hicks: Before that you could get chicken or waffles, but they were the first to put them together! Black people all over the world will be forever grateful to the Dutch for that.
Deuce Bigalow: You know the Dutch started the slave trade.
T.J. Hicks: THOSE MOTHER F#$%*%S!

T.J. Hicks: I'm in blackface. It's my disguise. See?
Deuce Bigalow: But you look the same.
T.J. Hicks: Are you saying black people all look the same?! You are such a racist! I should have the good mind not to let you help me prove that I'm innocent.

Deuce Bigalow: We're gonna prove that you didn't kill anyone.
T.J. Hicks: I don't give a damn about that. It's the "extremely gay" part that's bothering me. I mean, if I'm a murderer, they'll welcome me home with open arms. Get out of jail and become a huge rapper. But a gay pimp? Like, where am I going? Vermont?

T.J. Hicks: I ain't gay! I was just looking down his pants 'cause i heard his shlong was so big, and juicy! No wait! That didn't sound right!

T.J. Hicks: I prefer to be called a male madame. Wait, that didn't sound right.

T.J. Hicks: Don't make me he-bitch man-slap you!

Deuce Bigalow: Look, I think there's been a mistake.
Fluisa: Did you say steak?
Deuce Bigalow: No mistake.
Fluisa: Oh see now you got me all excited.

Deuce Bigalow: Wow! What are those?
Antoine Laconte: Medieval weapons. I'm a collector. There worth twice as much if they've killed somebody.
Deuce Bigalow: I collect Canadian quarters... I got about six of em...

9.wrongfully Accused
Lauren: Ryan and I were having sex! Hot steamy, sweaty sex! Every part of my body tingled orgasm after orgasm...
Officer: Uh, ma'am... I just asked for your name.

Ryan Harrison: [to Sean] Right? Signal "yes" by shooting yourself in the head three times.
Lauren: Don't, it's a trick!

Ryan Harrison: Your dog sure has a surprised look on his face.
Lauren: That's because you're looking at his butt.
Ryan Harrison: Uh, then he's certainly not going to enjoy that treat I just fed to him.

Cass Lake: Cass Lake.
Ryan Harrison: No, Ryan Harrison. You're mixing me up with some woman.

Cass Lake: You see, I think she's my sister.
Ryan Harrison: Sister?
Cass Lake: It's like a brother, only you do each other's hair.

Ryan Harrison: Don't move. I've got a gun. Not here, but I got one.

Ryan Harrison: Your lies are like bananas. They come in big yellow bunches.

10.Spy Hard
Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: I'm going in there.
Veronique Ukrinsky, Agent 3.14: That's crazy!
Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: No, crazy is walking down the street with half a cantaloupe on your head, muttering "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."

Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: Operator, get me Washington.
Operator: George?
Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: D.C.

Agent Steve Bishop: Sir, we have intercepted a disturbing video on the rock of gabraltar.
The Director: Well, what is it?
Agent Steve Bishop: It's this really big rock sticking out of the water on the south coast of Spain.

11.Scary Movie 3
[telling future to a pregnant woman]
Cody: It's a boy. He's going to be an asshole.
[standing on stairs telling future to man walking out of restroom]
Cody: You're getting lucky tonight.
[to "woman" walking out behind him, holding his hand]
Cody: He doesn't know you're a guy.

George: I have a dream.
Tom: What is your dream?
George: To have a dream.

Brenda Meeks: Cindy, the T.V's leaking...

[on the phone]
Cindy: Hello?
Tabitha's Voice: [indistinct] Seven days.
Cindy: What? Willie Mays?
Tabitha's Voice: [indistinct] Seven days.
Cindy: Who's gay? Hello?
Tabitha's Voice: [indistinct] Seven days.
Cindy: What?
Tabitha's Voice: Can you hear me now?
Cindy: Kind of.
Tabitha's Voice: Can you hear me now?
Cindy: Yes. Perfect.
Tabitha's Voice: Seven days.
Cindy: Seven days. Oh, my God. I'm gonna die next Monday?
Tabitha's Voice: Yes. No. Wait. Monday. That would be seven business days. This is seven days starting now.
Cindy: So seven days to this very hour? My watch broke. How am I gonna know the exact hour?
Tabitha's Voice: Forget hours. This day seven days from now.
Cindy: But there's a holiday coming up. Do you count the holiday?
Tabitha's Voice: Well, that depends. What holiday?
Cindy: Martin Luther King Day.
Tabitha's Voice: Then no.
Cindy: Why not? Everybody at work is taking it off.
Tabitha's Voice: Jesus Christ, lady. I'm giving you seven friggin' days. I can come over now and kill the shit out of you if you'd rather have that.

[Several black gang members have died fighting aliens]
President Harris: These men died defending their country. Send flowers to their bitches and ho's.

Becca: Have you heard about this video tape?
Kate: The one where they do it on the boat? And then in the car? And then in the bathtub? and he's like "Hey baby. I love you..." and she's like "Where are we?" and did you see the size of his...
Becca: No. Not that tape.

The Architect: I can't help it. It's very lonely in here. Ergo, I haven't been with anyone in a very long time, not counting myself. Or this chair. I call her... Linda...ohh

Becca: This is really weird...
[referring to ringing phone]
Kate: Yeah... Big house, only one phone...
[picks up phone]
Kate: Hello?
[passes it to Becca]
Becca: Hello?
Voice on Phone: [smeagol like voice] I'm coming for you my precious...
Becca: [looks relieved] Hi Mom...

Brenda Meeks: [TV flickers on] Cindy, the news is on. Another little white girl done fell down a well. Fifty black people get their ass beaten by police today, but the whole world gotta stop for one little whitey down a hole.

[Tabitha (dead girl from the ring) crawls out of the TV, stands up, and empties a whole bunch of water out of her ear]
Brenda Meeks: Cindy, this bitch is messing up my floor!
[Tabitha walks to Brenda]
Brenda Meeks: Cindy, help me!
Cindy: I'm not listening.
[Brenda punches Tabitha]
Brenda Meeks: Get up, you little ugly bitch. Come on! Let me see what you got!
[Tabitha tries to punch her, but Brenda holds her back]
Brenda Meeks: What you gonna do? That's all?
[punches her again]
Brenda Meeks: Ooh! I'm kicking her ass, Cindy! Yeah! What's up?
[proceeds to kick and head butt Tabitha]

The Architect: We loved our daughter very much, but she was evil. Made the horses crazy. Killed our puppies. Hid the remote. Really sick shit. My wife took her to the old family farm and drowned her in the well. I felt a simple time-out would have been sufficient.

Mr. Meeks: These just came today. Photos from a trip she took.
[passes them to Cindy]
Cindy: [Cindy flicks through photos] They're blank.
Mrs. Meeks: Turn them around, honey.
Cindy: Oh.

President Harris: Get me the President.
John Wilson: You are the President.
President Harris: Good. Then I already know about this. Let's order lunch.

Cindy: I'm looking for something more than just good sex.
Brenda Meeks: I know. You want commitment.
Cindy: No, I want great sex.

Architect: It's already begun. You're too late.
Cindy: Oh, my God.
Architect: But not too late to make an old man happy.

[flying saucers appear in the sky]
President Harris: Ah, good. The Air Force is here with those new round planes.
Secret Serviceman Jones: We don't have round planes, sir.

Annie: Promise me you'll never remarry.
Tom: I promise.
Annie: And no sex, either.
Tom: I'm sorry. I didn't catch that.
Annie: No sex.
Tom: Honey, you're not speaking clearly. Your injuries must be awful.
Annie: No sex.
Tom: Oh, cruel fate to shroud my wife's dying words in mystery.
Annie: [shouts] No sex!
Tom: Poor Annie. We hardly knew her. She'll be missed terribly.
Annie: Oh, Jesus.
Tom: That's right, honey. Go into the light.
Annie: Look! Just tell George, swing away.
Tom: Right. Swing away.
Annie: Oh, sure. That you understand.
[Gasps and dies]

Tom: Come here! What did you do with Sue?
MJ: I didn't touch her, I swear!
Tom: I don't believe you!
MJ: Please, for God's sake! She's a girl!

President Harris: [looks at portrait of Harrison Ford] I wonder what President Ford would have done.

Agent Thompson: Sir! Step away from the window!
President Harris: [looks down] What? Did I forget to put my pants on again?


more to come...
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