Thursday, July 09, 2009

MJ-Rest In Peace

Micheal J Jackson

I couldnt accept the fact that one of my fav icon have passed till today after watching his memorial. The moment when I saw his casket it finally sets in that one of the greatest entertainer, musical icon, and most of all a humanitarian has passed away.

I was in shock and deeply sad as I practically grew up listening to his music. I admire his movements both on and off the stage. The extravagant performances, fantastic video clips and the movement he's been trying to fight... racial harmony, breaking the barrier of not only the black and white of America but of all colours in the world. He thought us to appreciate our childrens and children all over the world. He thought us that it is in us that we have the power to heal and save the world.

His music is the one that inspire me to do more charity. He inspired us to be true to ourselves and most of all... to love one another.

M.J. you will truly be missed. You may be gone but you will live forever in our hearts. We will continue to fight the fight that you are fighting......

"In the end, the most important thing is to be true to yourself and those you love and work hard. Work like there's no tomorrow. Train. Strive. Really train and cultivate your talent to the highest degree. Be the best at what you do. Get to know more about your field than anybody alive. Use the tools of your trade, if it's books or a floor to dance on or a body of water to swim in. Whatever it is, it's yours. That's what I've always tried to remember."

"In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe."

"If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with."

-Micheal Jackson-

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

ding dong bell

It is just that time when everything in life is not in place at all. Its not that I am bitching or grumbling about life but somehow I felt that suddenly my life is not going as I planned. Just annoying. Financially, emotionally, and physically! Just cant seem to get it right!

I just want to have something going smoothly but nooooooooo... its just not! My job is draining my life force! personal life? hmmm... not going too well too. Financially I have planned my entire month but somehow I just cant save any money! instead I have to spend almost my entire months pay for something that I dont have any return at all. Argh! just so annoying. I guess most of us are underpaid. I used to enjoy what I am doing but now... its just surviving. barely... The living standard in KL is just killing me man...

Emotionally... I am tired... just not the happy-go-lucky bloke that i used to. I cant find the joy in life anymore. Everything i do, i have to worry about the consequences. i guess that is what we call growing up. A fucked up thing i can tell you. Sometimes I just wonder that whatever I do does anyone appreciate it? Do they actually see the distance I have to go just to make everyone happy? Or am I doing it wrongly? I am tired... plain freaking tired. I dont want to run away... that is just a coward's move... but as Starscream from Transformers said "Not that I'm calling you a coward, but cowards do survive..." . I have a feeling that I put others so much that I forgotten about myself. Too much giving and too little taking. But its just not me, I love seeing the people I love and cherish happy. But somehow, I feel that my soul is not fed. I lose power more than I gain. All I want is the appreciation.

Physically... I am overweight... sometimes hate my body... want to find time to lose weight but this issue seems to elude me. I know whatever I said is just an excuse. I need space to operate! Arrgh! I feel sorry for mah babe as I promise to lose weight which I did but its not enough. I want to enrol in a gym but financially I cant afford. I want to wake up early in the morning to jog but I am just too tired as I need to travel far to my work place. god damn! excuses again! I need to find my drive... the motivation... and the encouragement! and!!! the right formula! fucking hell!

What happen to the old me?! i want to go for a vacation but cant afford it! I guess I need to go do some soul searching... to find back my old self esteem and motivation. I am a mortal now... I have lost my immortality...
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