Sunday, February 19, 2006

MOVIES GALORE pt2

Just as i promised... second part!

1. Dumb &Dumber
[after Lloyd trades the van in for a moped]
Harry: Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

Llyod: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Harry: I was thinking the same thing.
Llyod: That John Denver is full of shit, man.

Lloyd: Excuse me, Flo, what's the soup du jour?
Flo, Waitress #1: It's The Soup of the Day.
Lloyd: Mmmm... that sounds good; I'll have that.

Harry: Once, we successfully mated a bulldog with a shiatsu.
Mary: Really?
Harry: Yeah, we called it a bullshit.

Lloyd: I'm only human Harry! Come on! So we backtracked a tad!
Harry: A tad? A tad, Lloyd? You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep!
Lloyd: Well, it's not gonna do us any good sittin' here whinin' about it.

[while looking back at Mary]
Lloyd: There's really nothing to worry about Mary. Statistically they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport. You know, like on a head on crash or flying off a cliff or getting trapped under a gas truck! That's the worst! I have this cousin, well y'know, I had this cousin...
Mary: Uh, Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road please?
Lloyd: Oh, yeah! Good thinking. Can't be too careful. Lot of bad drivers out there.


2. Snatch
Avi: Should I call you Bullet? Tooth?
Bullet Tooth Tony: You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.

Turkish: You take sugar?
Brick Top: No thank you, Turkish; I'm sweet enough.

Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony: 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.

Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van]
Tyrone: I didn't see it there.
Vinny: It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. Its not as though its a bag of fucking peanuts, is it?
Tyrone: It was at a funny angle.
[All three turn and look back at the truck]
Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come at you from behind.

Turkish: What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?
Sausage Charlie: Five minutes, Turkish.
Turkish: It was two minutes five minutes ago.

Errol: Fuckface, who's speaking to you? He asked him, didn't he?
Turkish: Fuckface... I like that one Errol. I'll have to remember that one next time I'm crawling off yer mum.

[after hearing about Bullet-Tooth Tony surviving after being shot six times]
Cousin Avi: Six times?
Doug the Head: In one sitting.

Avi: Who is Bullet Tooth...
Charlie: Tony!
Bullet Tooth Tony: You silly fuck.
Doug the Head: He's a liability.
Charlie: You are gonna die Tony!
[bang]
Charlie: [bang]
Alex Denovitz: He got shot six times, had the bullets molded into gold.
Charlie: I shoot you! You go down!
[bang]
Charlie: [bang]
[bang]
Alex Denovitz: He has two in his teeth that dad did for him.
Charlie: Why don't you fucking DIE?
[bang]
Avi: Six times?
Doug the Head: In one sitting.
Bullet Tooth Tony: [Picks up a sword] Oh your in trouble now.

Turkish: Have you ever crossed the road, and looked the wrong way?
[and]
Turkish: a car's nearly on you? So what do you do? Something very silly. You freeze. Your life doesn't flash before you, cos you're too fuckin' scared to think - you just freeze and pull a stupid face.

Sol: What the fuck is that?
Vinny: Heh heh. This, is a shotgun Sol.
Sol: It's a fucking anti-aircraft gun Vincent.
Vinny: So, I wanna raise some pulses don't I?
Sol: You'll raise Hell. Never mind pulses.

Turkish: You aren't exactly Mister Current Affairs are you, Tommy? "Mad Fist" went mad, and "The Gun," shot himself.

3.national Security

Hank: Do you actually believe the crap that comes out of your mouth?
Earl: I'm not really sure until I'm finish talkin'.

Hank: This is a beer keg. It doesn't make any sense.
Earl: It makes sense when you put together the pieces.
Hank: What pieces?
Earl: It's obvious. The CIA, they're smuggling alcohol into the inner city in an effort to further subjugate the black man.

Earl: Your partner got killed. You lost your job. You went to jail. Your wife walked. You know what you are, Hank? You're a black man.

Nash: I thought I shot you. You must be one tough monkey.
Earl: [laughs] You and the monkey jokes huh. Didn't your momma teach you any manners while you were humpin' her?


4.Black Knight
Percival: How dare you deflower the king's daughter.
Jamal: Believe me, someone got to that flower long before I did.

Jamal: Do you have a thong?
Victoria: Excuse me?
Jamal: Never mind. We'll just take an old pair of drawers and cut the ass out.


5.Blue Streak
Miles Logan: Hey, this is the police. Move your busted-ass vehicle. Move, move, move, move. This is the LAPD. We'll pop one in your ass. We got guns and shit.

Miles Logan: What are you gonna do with one shoelace? Floss your ass with it.

Miles Logan: [talking to Deacon] I know you don't want to go to jail in Mexico because nobody wants to go to jail in Mexico. They put all kinds of burritos in your ass.


6.Soul Plane
Captain Mack: This is your soul plane chauffeur Captain Antoine Mack speaking. Welcome aboard NWA flight 069 from the 310 to the 212. It's time to bust this coney y'all. In a hot second, I'll be hittin' them switches and gettin' this bitch pumpin' and jumpin'. So screw your sh*t on tight and enjoy the flight.

7.Rat race
Bev Pear: Your daughter has to go to the bathroom!
Randy Pear: Alright, alright, Jason, look in the back for an empty jar.
Bev Pear: A jar? Girls don't pee in jars.
Randy Pear: Oh, right. Sorry. Jason, we're gonna need a jar and a funnel.

Randy Pear: Jason, put that away, you can't play that.
Jason Pear: Why not?
Randy Pear: Because it's Hitler's harmonica. You can't play Hitler's harmonica.
Jason Pear: You're driving his car!
Randy Pear: Yeah, but I'm not touching it with my mouth. I'm not sucking on the dashboard. I'm not getting his germs!

Enrico Pollini: Am I to late ? Look I won a coin, a gold coin, isn't it wonderful? Look at this room, what a beautiful room, have you seen this room?
Randy Pear: Yes! were in it.

Talking about Sinclair and his idea for them competing in the "race"]
Merrill: It's some sort of joke. It has to be.
Duane Cody: What kind of jackass just gives away $2 million?
Owen Templeton: Maybe it's a publicity stunt.
Randy Pear: What kind of publicity? He swore us all to secrecy.
Vera Baker: Maybe it's a secret publicity stunt.
Randy Pear: A *secret* publicity stunt?


8.Deuce Bigalow
T.J. Hicks: Did you know Holland invented chicken and waffles?
Deuce Bigalow: Really?
T.J. Hicks: Before that you could get chicken or waffles, but they were the first to put them together! Black people all over the world will be forever grateful to the Dutch for that.
Deuce Bigalow: You know the Dutch started the slave trade.
T.J. Hicks: THOSE MOTHER F#$%*%S!

T.J. Hicks: I'm in blackface. It's my disguise. See?
Deuce Bigalow: But you look the same.
T.J. Hicks: Are you saying black people all look the same?! You are such a racist! I should have the good mind not to let you help me prove that I'm innocent.

Deuce Bigalow: We're gonna prove that you didn't kill anyone.
T.J. Hicks: I don't give a damn about that. It's the "extremely gay" part that's bothering me. I mean, if I'm a murderer, they'll welcome me home with open arms. Get out of jail and become a huge rapper. But a gay pimp? Like, where am I going? Vermont?

T.J. Hicks: I ain't gay! I was just looking down his pants 'cause i heard his shlong was so big, and juicy! No wait! That didn't sound right!

T.J. Hicks: I prefer to be called a male madame. Wait, that didn't sound right.

T.J. Hicks: Don't make me he-bitch man-slap you!

Deuce Bigalow: Look, I think there's been a mistake.
Fluisa: Did you say steak?
Deuce Bigalow: No mistake.
Fluisa: Oh see now you got me all excited.

Deuce Bigalow: Wow! What are those?
Antoine Laconte: Medieval weapons. I'm a collector. There worth twice as much if they've killed somebody.
Deuce Bigalow: I collect Canadian quarters... I got about six of em...

9.wrongfully Accused
Lauren: Ryan and I were having sex! Hot steamy, sweaty sex! Every part of my body tingled orgasm after orgasm...
Officer: Uh, ma'am... I just asked for your name.

Ryan Harrison: [to Sean] Right? Signal "yes" by shooting yourself in the head three times.
Lauren: Don't, it's a trick!

Ryan Harrison: Your dog sure has a surprised look on his face.
Lauren: That's because you're looking at his butt.
Ryan Harrison: Uh, then he's certainly not going to enjoy that treat I just fed to him.

Cass Lake: Cass Lake.
Ryan Harrison: No, Ryan Harrison. You're mixing me up with some woman.

Cass Lake: You see, I think she's my sister.
Ryan Harrison: Sister?
Cass Lake: It's like a brother, only you do each other's hair.

Ryan Harrison: Don't move. I've got a gun. Not here, but I got one.

Ryan Harrison: Your lies are like bananas. They come in big yellow bunches.


10.Spy Hard
Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: I'm going in there.
Veronique Ukrinsky, Agent 3.14: That's crazy!
Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: No, crazy is walking down the street with half a cantaloupe on your head, muttering "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."

Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: Operator, get me Washington.
Operator: George?
Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: D.C.

Agent Steve Bishop: Sir, we have intercepted a disturbing video on the rock of gabraltar.
The Director: Well, what is it?
Agent Steve Bishop: It's this really big rock sticking out of the water on the south coast of Spain.


11.Scary Movie 3
[telling future to a pregnant woman]
Cody: It's a boy. He's going to be an asshole.
[standing on stairs telling future to man walking out of restroom]
Cody: You're getting lucky tonight.
[to "woman" walking out behind him, holding his hand]
Cody: He doesn't know you're a guy.

George: I have a dream.
Tom: What is your dream?
George: To have a dream.

Brenda Meeks: Cindy, the T.V's leaking...

[on the phone]
Cindy: Hello?
Tabitha's Voice: [indistinct] Seven days.
Cindy: What? Willie Mays?
Tabitha's Voice: [indistinct] Seven days.
Cindy: Who's gay? Hello?
Tabitha's Voice: [indistinct] Seven days.
Cindy: What?
Tabitha's Voice: Can you hear me now?
Cindy: Kind of.
Tabitha's Voice: Can you hear me now?
Cindy: Yes. Perfect.
Tabitha's Voice: Seven days.
Cindy: Seven days. Oh, my God. I'm gonna die next Monday?
Tabitha's Voice: Yes. No. Wait. Monday. That would be seven business days. This is seven days starting now.
Cindy: So seven days to this very hour? My watch broke. How am I gonna know the exact hour?
Tabitha's Voice: Forget hours. This day seven days from now.
Cindy: But there's a holiday coming up. Do you count the holiday?
Tabitha's Voice: Well, that depends. What holiday?
Cindy: Martin Luther King Day.
Tabitha's Voice: Then no.
Cindy: Why not? Everybody at work is taking it off.
Tabitha's Voice: Jesus Christ, lady. I'm giving you seven friggin' days. I can come over now and kill the shit out of you if you'd rather have that.

[Several black gang members have died fighting aliens]
President Harris: These men died defending their country. Send flowers to their bitches and ho's.

Becca: Have you heard about this video tape?
Kate: The one where they do it on the boat? And then in the car? And then in the bathtub? and he's like "Hey baby. I love you..." and she's like "Where are we?" and did you see the size of his...
Becca: No. Not that tape.

The Architect: I can't help it. It's very lonely in here. Ergo, I haven't been with anyone in a very long time, not counting myself. Or this chair. I call her... Linda...ohh

Becca: This is really weird...
[referring to ringing phone]
Kate: Yeah... Big house, only one phone...
[picks up phone]
Kate: Hello?
[passes it to Becca]
Becca: Hello?
Voice on Phone: [smeagol like voice] I'm coming for you my precious...
Becca: [looks relieved] Hi Mom...

Brenda Meeks: [TV flickers on] Cindy, the news is on. Another little white girl done fell down a well. Fifty black people get their ass beaten by police today, but the whole world gotta stop for one little whitey down a hole.

[Tabitha (dead girl from the ring) crawls out of the TV, stands up, and empties a whole bunch of water out of her ear]
Brenda Meeks: Cindy, this bitch is messing up my floor!
[Tabitha walks to Brenda]
Brenda Meeks: Cindy, help me!
Cindy: I'm not listening.
[Brenda punches Tabitha]
Brenda Meeks: Get up, you little ugly bitch. Come on! Let me see what you got!
[Tabitha tries to punch her, but Brenda holds her back]
Brenda Meeks: What you gonna do? That's all?
[punches her again]
Brenda Meeks: Ooh! I'm kicking her ass, Cindy! Yeah! What's up?
[proceeds to kick and head butt Tabitha]

The Architect: We loved our daughter very much, but she was evil. Made the horses crazy. Killed our puppies. Hid the remote. Really sick shit. My wife took her to the old family farm and drowned her in the well. I felt a simple time-out would have been sufficient.

Mr. Meeks: These just came today. Photos from a trip she took.
[passes them to Cindy]
Cindy: [Cindy flicks through photos] They're blank.
Mrs. Meeks: Turn them around, honey.
Cindy: Oh.

President Harris: Get me the President.
John Wilson: You are the President.
President Harris: Good. Then I already know about this. Let's order lunch.

Cindy: I'm looking for something more than just good sex.
Brenda Meeks: I know. You want commitment.
Cindy: No, I want great sex.

Architect: It's already begun. You're too late.
Cindy: Oh, my God.
Architect: But not too late to make an old man happy.

[flying saucers appear in the sky]
President Harris: Ah, good. The Air Force is here with those new round planes.
Secret Serviceman Jones: We don't have round planes, sir.

Annie: Promise me you'll never remarry.
Tom: I promise.
Annie: And no sex, either.
Tom: I'm sorry. I didn't catch that.
Annie: No sex.
Tom: Honey, you're not speaking clearly. Your injuries must be awful.
Annie: No sex.
Tom: Oh, cruel fate to shroud my wife's dying words in mystery.
Annie: [shouts] No sex!
Tom: Poor Annie. We hardly knew her. She'll be missed terribly.
Annie: Oh, Jesus.
Tom: That's right, honey. Go into the light.
Annie: Look! Just tell George, swing away.
Tom: Right. Swing away.
Annie: Oh, sure. That you understand.
[Gasps and dies]

Tom: Come here! What did you do with Sue?
MJ: I didn't touch her, I swear!
Tom: I don't believe you!
MJ: Please, for God's sake! She's a girl!

President Harris: [looks at portrait of Harrison Ford] I wonder what President Ford would have done.

Agent Thompson: Sir! Step away from the window!
President Harris: [looks down] What? Did I forget to put my pants on again?

-imdb-

more to come...

Saturday, February 18, 2006

ANOTHER DAY GONE...

Just came bek from Highland Towers,Bukit Antarabangsa, Ampang. Oh if ya didnt know... it was that condominium that collapse caused by landslide during 1994. Alot of casualties... okok... My frens and I was suppose to go for a round of hero killing game DotA. But ppl nowdays dont know when to go back home or got no other better place to go during a friday night. so yeah... the place was packed at 11pm!... and the waiting list... filled up one whole A4 paper.then we decided to have a drink at a mamak nearby..after the drink which is around 12am... we headed back to the cyber cafe and the place is even mroe filled up... we were dejected and bored as we didnt want to go home so early so we decided to head to Highland Towers just to have a look. The last story i heard about it was "there was 42 person went there.. so when they reached there they head counted each of them and there was 42 ppl. So they walked in... but when they approach the place the girls freaked out so they decided to call it off. then when they head counted again there was 43 person. and they head counted again and again there was 43 person... who was the 43rd person?" OK back to my part... so we headed to Bukit Antarabangsa... well at first we thought it was at that road that says Bukit Antarabangsa but instead when we turn in there was just normal houses and no sign of abandon Condominium so we round and round the place but end up at a dead end or and some normal housing area. Then my fren called his fren... she said that it was the road next to it... so we head back to the highway and went in this road that says Sri Ukay. We headed in and normal housing area again... but after turning....into one junction... there i saw a figure behind the houses.... two condominium standing in the dark of the hill... we headed to the entrance of the place and once we reached there... we saw a barrier that says "di larang masuk" at that point we can feel the chills in our spine for a moment... but after a few seconds looking at it... it dont seem any special anymore... so we decided to head back... but on the way back at Jalan Ampang one of my fren decided to head to Kenny Hills aka Bukit Tunku to find that infamous row of old abandon english cottage that gives ppl the creeps. and apparently the road that suppose to head there is only one lane... and only one car can fit into the lane... if u wanna do a u-turn u have to turn into one of the gates of the houses. but we round the whole area and we didnt find any old abandon row of english cottages instead we are rounding into dead ends where the houses wait... bungalows/mansion/castle at the end of the roads have guardhouses in it... (we made the guard curious...a car filled wit 4 ppl doing u-turn in front of their master's house) or some old abandon bungalows or better, mansions! now that houses looks eerie. all the overgrowth around it and all the road is covered by dry leaves and twigs making the road harder to see. the bushes on the side seems to over grow onto the road making the road harder to drive. but after a few dead ends and rounds my fren that drove got fed up as his left foot is tired after pressing the clutch too much so we decided to go home. But at least now i know how does Highland Towers looks like up closed at night.... eerie but lonely... and sad, filled with so much tragedy and sorrow. and till now i yet to see the infamous row of abandoned english cottage on kenny hills....

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Believe or not to believe

I cant post any article for the past few days, well ok.. chinese new year is over now and my summary is well... erm... hot and lotsa food and soft drinks and hard drinks... lol.

Well lets get the the interesting part... ok i heard this only two days ago. well its more of a spiritual thing... kinda freaky. As a Malaysian or more of erm.. asian... do u believe in curses... spells or wut they said.."jampi" or "khong thao"?. I just heard a real life story about this events and its freaks me out. more over i also heard the whole thing about this Mysteries of M Night Shyamalan on HBO. This triggers all the stories i heard.

"OK back to the real life story summarised... i am not gonna reveal names. ok here it goes...My frens granmother was about to go to for a minor surgery in KL recently. so she went to the see a chinese medium. The medium told that on the day of the surgery there will be something disturbing her and her surgery.But she wasnt sure so she went to see a second opinion. My frens cousin-uncle, and he, well have wut they say a "third eye" where he can see the spiritual world... so he calculated and agreed on wut the chinese medium said. So he said that he has a solution... all this "things" cant see... but they can smell. so wut they did is ... ask my fren;s uncle to put a old and recently worn clothes by his granma in her room in ipoh just to divert the "things" attention so he wont disturb his granma in the surgery. What his uncle didnt know is that they suppose to put it there for 7 days. but after the second day he threw the clothes away. Then my fren's dad found out... so he told my frens cousin-uncle the incident. He said that is a big problem... coz bcoz of that the "things" will seek him to explain what happen on that night itself. so he told my frens dad to meet at his house at 12am. but coincidently that night my fren;s dad got a company dinner so he told my frens cousin-uncle that he will a be alil late. then the cousin-uncle told him the maximum time is 15 mins. if not big problem. So on that night my fren'd dad reach there just nice 1215. when he was walking into the house the lights outside the house suddenly shut off the ones at the house wall next to the gate..... and later both of them negotiated with that "thing". after the negotiation when my fren;s dad came out... the lights all came back on. and that night itself my fren's uncle that put and threw the clothes away got a horrible nightmare and his family suddenly fell got fever. but few days later all went back to normal. "

I dun want to belive it but after listening to so many real stories... well i still dont want to belive it... but it sends the chills up my spine... and u know what is the most eriee thing... my fren's cousin uncle said that in every house or anywhere u go there is and surely one or more spirit... be it harmful or harmless... but wut i always believe is if u dont disturb them... they wont disturb u... so wut i do is... just respect wut is other ppl's things and dun simply do nonsense in places u dont know.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

CENTAUR SAGI


was bored so i drew this... hmmm while listening to some music.... lol... centaur warchief?? me?? hehehhe.. i wish!

well it says i rather take a spear rather than a bow and u all will think that y not go bare hands... but i like the spear... lol....
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