Friday, November 15, 2013

Getting back to the roots

Sometimes I tend to scare myself. Sometimes I tend to do something that makes me feel embarrassed afterwords. I sat down the whole night thinking about my actions. Maybe it is just what is happening in my life. I remember telling myself to learn to chill. I remember telling myself to keep the devil in me back in to 2009 in this article but the old friend in me crept out again. Ever now and then when I let my guard down this fella creeps out. I thought I have it under control. Sigh. 

I think that it is just sad because, I was pondering about this for a long time but I just dont want to do it. Because I have so much passion for what I am doing. Maybe it is just a huge slap on my face, saying that I "cant" do what I love "again"!!! Its just too many times I was robbed of my passion. Just like this article, where I was told that I can't play any physical sports because of my back. Now this happens, it is sad that this happened. They are closing down our block. Paving way for something bigger it seems... bollocks!

I was really down but I think I am going to take my dad's advice. He told me time and time again when he was around, "what ever happened or where ever you end up. Always remember your roots. Sometimes its best to go back to your roots". Wise words indeed...

What I am going to do now is to look back at what makes me happy. Why was I called the laughing Buddha when I was younger. How did I manage to make myself happy? Like I said, I sat back and look at what all is happening and what I did the last time that makes me happy. Now I know. Live goes on. I am going to do what I see best for me. I am bringing back my old fire. I want to be that happy kid again. Fuck those who wants to make life miserable! FUCK YOU! and FUCK YOUR ideas and thoughts! In the WORDS OF THE ROCK!!!

I am getting back to my roots!

a new start... a new beginning... and the good ol' fire!

Monday, October 21, 2013

ITS FINALLY DONE!!! end of a chapter... start of a new one

Marriage for most is a blissful and exciting time. But lots of people do not see the entire scene before the whole marriage. I for myself had my moments of ups and downs.

It all started one and a half year ago when I decided to take the leap of faith or for some the plunge to the next phase in life. Like most guys, this means letting go our bachelor life and for some, total freedom.

First hurdle was to find a good way to propose. With the emergence of bloody "cool proposals" on youtube, life for guys has been a living hell. When ever your other half showed you the video... in your mind you will go like "fuck!... shieat..... how am I gonna top that!". You know now the standard has been set! its not an easy task. But in real fact, yes, doing that may be great but it is more on keeping it personal and sweet but most of all memorable as this is something for just both of you. Unless you and your partner are some attention freak! gila glamour type, then I got no comments. What I did was something simple and subtle and something that only both of us will know and cherish. Something that we can talk and laugh at in years to come... something... us!

Second hurdle was to prepare to break the news to our family. That wasn't that hard coz both of our family were already expecting it to happen anytime soon as we have already been together for 7 adventurous years. We decided to register first and have the marriage one year later. We set the date of our ROM to coincide with our 7th year anniversary as a couple. 

Right after the ROM we have to start looking for our dinner venue. My family wanted us to pick certain auspicious dates based on our birth dates, saying that this a Chinese culture. Well, I don't really got a choice there. Its to make everyone happy. Then the first real challenge came. Choosing the venue.We sat down and shortlisted all the venue that we wanted and started doing our research. Once that is done, then we went to all of those places to check with them on the availability. Then the first real problem came. All of the location on my top 10 shortlist was booked on the dates that I wanted. Mind you this was almost one and a half years ago. I started to get worried. We looked and looked and looked but all venue for dinner was taken. After sitting down and thinking, we decided to just do a lunch instead of a dinner. Location? the first location on my list, HGH convention center. 

We then decided on the theme of the wedding. How would it be? We decided to make it not like the typical Chinese wedding. Why? it wont be memorable. I will be "JUST ANOTHER WEDDING". I wanted to stamp my ideas and style all over it. It will be me and my wife's wedding. Something people will remember. Something different.... So I decided to do what I do best... an animated wedding! 

Then as the months went by, both me and my wife were busy with our work and also both me and my wife took our MBA course together. Hence more work. We were both heavily involved in BNI too. So it was all work and work and work for the next few months. 

At the start of this year, we decided to do another function in my wife's hometown, Kota Kinabalu (KK), Sabah. As my wife wanted to be blessed in the church she was baptized in. Hence the second part of planning started. This was rather a more frantic one as this we have less than a year to do. We started checking out hotels for the reception and also checking the available date for the church. Being a Catholic church, we then need to go through the marriage course. We checked most of the places in KL but it was quite a hassle as my wife was baptized in KK and they needed us to get approval from the KK church and this and that. Then when we got our documents, the KL churches say that we were too late and there was no more space. We were furious, and decided to call up my wife's church and to our surprise they were very welcoming. Saying that its free seating and everyone is welcome. Hence the frantic booking and planning was done.

Next was the food testing. It was at Sekinchan, some 2 hours drive from KL. It was well worth it as the food was good. 

As the wedding approaches I realized that the venue do not provide any wedding card, hence I have to design it myself and find my own printer. Printing took a rather long time as there were many festivals in between.  That took a while. It was a challenge as I was pressured by all sides on this. The constant question "Is the wedding card done?"... "Have you printed?"... "When is it done? need to send out already!!!"... I was helpless... all I can do is just call up the printer to ask him... and all he can say is... on the way! I cant scream at him nor rush him as I know he too is busy. I cant change printer as he is already printing... By the time it came we were already too busy to send it out. Then we realized that the size of the card was not a standard size and we have to find the right envelope.

The day for the wedding course came. We took a week off to go for the crash course. Since we were in KK, we decided to check out and book our dinner reception venue and settle some of the church stuffs all in one trip and at the same time do our pre wedding photo shoot. It was a hectic week as we have to stuff all 3 things into one week. I have to say it was a productive week. 

One and a half month before wedding. At this time I was already bogged down with so many things. First at work, my management wanted us to rework our entire block and wanted to change lots of things. To make things worse is that my team is a small team. And of all time, around 1 month before my wedding!! When things are already so hectic for me.

By now without sleep, and minimal assistance, I was under immense pressure. I didn't wanted to bother others and I took every task and duty to myself. At the same time we were on the verge of a change of leadership team in my BNI. This was where my balancing act to juggle work, BNI, MBA and wedding at the same time. I didn't even have time to spend with my wife to be. I forgo my friends and social life and I was quite depressed. But I held up my head and told myself... this is a test I must pass! and one I will pass!!

1 month before the wedding, its time for RSVP. Both KK and KL wedding. No one was confirmed. Some did, some didn't. Some maybe, some "I will tell you later"

Then  came the KK wedding. By then I was already a train wreck. Tired, stressed and exhausted. I was lucky my wife's sisters helped out and organized it for us. By then I was not only exhausted, I was nervous. As this is my first Catholic wedding (yes the first Catholic wedding I attended happens to be mine!). It worked out well and we had fun at the dinner reception. Thank god!.

Right after the KK wedding, I was back to KL to prepare for my KL reception. This was rather stressful as it was the first time a wedding will be conducted digitally. I have to sit down with my team and work things out. And I realized that I was running out of time. I was juggling the RSVP, animation and slides and also the recording of the hengtai and jimui's wishes.  All this in just 1 and a half week.

By this time, the irritating yet common thing happened. One week before the wedding, those who we confirmed coming, tells us at the last minute that they cant make it. But it is a common thing right? my sis and friends say that this is a common thing. But I would say, its just disappointing. But again, no time to be bothered. By now I was very stressed up on my animation and slides as we are facing hiccups after hiccups. At the same time I need to re-confirm my cake, hall payment, transportation and guest list. 

It was starting to hit me physically, emotionally and psychologically. I was sleeping 1-2 hours daily. I was easily irritated but the one thing that was keeping me going on was my wife, family, my buddies and the determination to make this a memorable event. I wanted everyone to enjoy the day. Its my personal mission to make the difference.

Then came the wedding day, by then I didn't sleep for 2 days due to the last minute glitches of my slides. In the morning, mind is floating, my house packed with relatives. I called my wife and told her "behold as you are going to witness the first of its kind wedding today... its show time!". Put down the phone and dressed up. 

Went to my wife's house to pick up the bride. My heart was racing with anticipation and excitement. Then came the games... it was very nice of the brides mates to not torture us too much. Then finally, I get to see my beautiful wife for the first time in 2 days... ever so beautiful... sitting there waiting for me with a gleaming smile. Took her to my place and have a tea ceremony. Then came the show... our show. Went to the HGH hall and first thing I noticed was the awesome hall decoration. I was stunned at how well they decorated the hall. Then the moment of truth came... the show that I planned for months began. Me and my team was holding our breath when we hit the play button...... and there it stood...

two gigantic digital emcees... we were almost in tears as they spoke. The very first digitally hosted wedding ever in Malaysia.... as the lunch went by, videos and animations went on... there were some minor glitches... and it was over. Most of the people I met was amazed by the show... the hall and the food... I was a happy man. It wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for my buddies and family's help... By then I felt 30kg lighter. The huge burden is taken off... 

After the long journey... I am officially married.... legally, religiously and culturally...

It was a wonderful experience... one that would stick to me all my life... 

Before I sign off... I would also like to apologise to those who I offended directly or indirectly... and apologise for any wrongdoings... for I wasnt myself for the last few weeks.

Monday, April 29, 2013


Well I recently ran a campaign on my radio and ask the people two questions and they can pick any question given to answer. I told them, answer what your heart tells you. The question was:

"What does it mean to be a Malaysian?" 


"What makes your proud to be a Malaysian?"

Simple question. Right? Most of the people I asked, thought for a while. Most of the people gave me answers that is very similar. On the average people tend to say the generic things such as "We live together in harmony despite with different races and religion, we love the food, we live in a peaceful country..." and more along this line. But deep inside I knew that they wanted to say more, I knew that they wanted to speak up more but they held back or just not interested.

Well, because I am doing the show, of course I cant participate la. Later people say I am just blowing my own horn or a propaganda machine. But truly, if I were able to ask this question to myself, this is what I would say:

"What does it mean to be a Malaysian? simple. Being a Malaysian is all about being a Malaysian. What does that mean? it may be just one line but what lies behind it, runs deep. 

Being a Malaysian is not just waving the flag and screaming the top of your lung saying "AKU ANAK MALAYSIA!!!". Being a Malaysian is when 

1. You are able speak or understand the national language. You go to a foreign land and you want to speak in your secret code language and that is your Bahasa Malaysia. Even if it is a broken one like "ini maciam, itu maciam" you still speak it. When you do something wrong you say "Alamak". When you agree its ok to say "OK-lah". When you want to know whether the work can be done you ask "can or not?" and the list goes on. 

2. Your best friends are not the same race as you, but yet you enjoy laughing and talking to them and best of all going for a drink with them. Why? because in Malaysia, friendship doesnt comes in any color. 

3. Your love for local food and you gets into a semi depression after weeks and months without a dose of local food. The roti canais, the nasi lemaks, the curry mee, the char koay teow, the chee cheong fun (with chilli), the banana leaf, the KFCs (yes there is no KFC like M'sia's KFC), the sambal belacan, the bak kut teh and the list goes on...

4. You complain about everything about the country but gets angry and try to defend the country when a foreigner say bad things about the country (accept about our politics la! that one you will join the bandwagon). 

5. People around you will respond if you call each other "Machaaa" or "brooo" or "dik" or "tai louuu" or the plain and simple "Oi". Elders will respond if you call them "Uncle" or "Aunty". Going to restaurant you have that urge to call the waiter "boss", "macha", "Leng lui", "leng chai", "taukeh" or the basic "*squeeeeaaak*". When asking for the bill we show the signing a paper gesture and a nod.

Thats just a small portion on what does being a Malaysian means to me. And again like I said, "Being a Malaysian is all about being a Malaysian". We were born and bred here and the meaning of a Malaysian is just living as one! 

Now... for the second question "What makes you proud to be a Malaysian?"

There are several moments for me that makes me so so so so proud to be a Malaysian. I am already a proud Malaysian but these moments are the one that skyrocketed my proudness to the air! 

1. When I went to the National Stadium, Bukit Jalil for the AFF Suzuki Cup final against Indonesia, the moment when everyone almost 90,000 people stand up together side by side in unity proudly singing the National Anthem "Negaraku". This is what our country should be built upon. Together we are united supporting our nation whether it is in sports or in other things. This is what it should be!

2. I was so proud to be a Malaysian when the Petronas Twin Tower is featured as the world tallest building in documentaries. I was lying down at the KLCC park for 4-5 hours admiring the building with my cousin. 

3. When Malaysia won the Thomas Cup back in 1992! I was down in tears even though I was just a kid then. I was so happy infront of the TV with my dad.

4.  I was at Stadium Putra Bukit Jalil when our Rhythmic Gymnastic Team won the first ever gold  medal in that category in the 98' Commonwealth Games. The moment the Jalur Gemilang was up there and the Negaraku was playing I was extremely proud to be a Malaysian.

5. Looking at how Malaysians stood behind our very own Lee Chong Wei and Pandalela Rinong during the olympics and cheer when they won their respective medal.

I usually ask others who are complaining, what is there not to be proud of your own nation? Somehow, it is our home, our nation. 

All in all we all should be proud to be a Malaysian and we should stand and be counted as a Malaysian! (if you know what I mean!)


Monday, April 08, 2013

the Lull

Its been a while since I blogged. Well like I always mention, I blog when I am angry. I blog only when I got something to say. Well today I got something to say.

Its annoying that sometimes people take you for granted. Its annoying that you have a good heart and try to help a person but only to be used and thrown around like a toy. Its annoying when no one try to understand what you are going through. When in return you tried so hard to help the person when they are in need.

The past few months I have gone through lots of good and bad times. In those good times, you wont see it and feel it. Its all fun and games... but when you are going through the bad times... you see the true colours of the people around you.

Sometimes I wonder do I really have to be the bastard and the asshole to get things done. Some people jumped into a conclusion or assume that something that is not even real. I got one question... "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO ASSUME AND JUDGE ME?!"

It is always about protecting themselves.

Recently I have spoken to a old man, and he told me one thing. "Sometimes you have to do what you love doing or what you want to do only you will be successful". Wise words... but please define successful.

In recent times, to be successful is all summed up in material form. Money, car, house and the list goes on. What have we became?

Its sad to see most people have forgo the simple things in life that makes us humans and instead the search for richness, wealth and personal gain. In exchange, they forgo their friends, family and their values. Some to the extend that they dont even know what they are doing anymore.

But this is the fact of life. Its either you ride the wave or you get hit by it and drown.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

15 years ago

Why 15 years ago? ok let me start

15 Years ago...

... I can walk outside and not really worried of being rob then stabbed
... I can sit in a mamak stall and not being monitored by countless CCTV
... I can still see our children playing in the playground without really worrying about them getting lost or kidnapped 
... I dont see a group of people sitting down on a table in a restaurant and not talk but looking at their phones
... I can still eat a noodle in KL/PJ for RM 3.50
... Chelsea and Manchester City is a mediocre team
... Liverpool was always there but never won a title, giving the same excuse "We will win it next year"
... We still have to look up information from books from library
... ICQ was the most happening thing
... Malaysians were united celebrating the biggest sporting event and that is the Commonwealth Games
... We saw the powerful France lift the World Cup
... We know that the President of the USA is also a normal man in the whole Monica Lewinsky blowjob incident
... Michael Jordan is still playing for the Bulls when they won the NBA finals against Utah Jazz consisting of John Stockton and Karl Malone.
... Saving Private Ryan caught everyone in awe....
... we saw Wild Things featuring Denise Richards and Neve Campbell
... we Can;t Hardly Wait...
... clubs like Embassy, Emporium and Bali is still around...
... Bangsar was clubbing haven
... going to Damansara from PJ is a nightmare... 
... going to Sri Hartamas takes ages as there was not Kerinchi Highway
... there was no Mid Valley mall, the most happening mall then was 1 Utama
... the hottest computer game in town was Counter Strike and Quake
... Justin Bieber was still a baby baby baby...
... Micheal Owen was a teenage sensation
... Yaohan retail store was the common view

But 15 years later... which is now...

... Crime have been even more brutal now... no more snatch but now snatch and hurt
... No one barely walks to places for they fear being robbed
... constant child going missing 
... prices of food has skyrocketed... now a bowl of noodles cost RM 5-6 but salaries for workers have not really been raised alot comparison to the inflation
... No more ICQ or MSN but whatsapp, tango and skype
... Chelsea and Manchester City are the powerhouse now
... Liverpool has changed and not fighting for the title, and changed their excuse to "We are in transition but we will have a strong squad soon"
... We now look for information from out Phones

So the question is... are we getting better?

Monday, January 21, 2013


And just like that, 3 years has passed. We have moved on but we will never forget... we will never forget your love, your wisdom and most of all what you gave to all of us. 

 It still aches thinking about you... it is because we are recovering and because we remember you...


Tuesday, January 08, 2013


I believe that everyone have a dream. Everyone wants to do something that they love. Every young kid that came to me to ask for advise, I will first ask them one question, "What do you want to do?". Then they will think. When they reply "I am not sure..." then I will ask them "What do you love doing?". They will always think longer after that and sometimes shy of their answer. But I will just ask them to tell it out as there is no wrong or right answer. It is your dream.... 

Why do I ask that? Well went through the hard road of doing things I don't like at first and one fine day, it occurred to me... I ask myself "What the heck am I doing now??!, Am I happy?". My answer is no. So I a good one week to rethink on what I really wanted and how can I achieve it. 

The thought of my financial situation came in too. I sat down with my dad and he told me, "no one instantly gets high pay. If you put in hard work  be alert and learn fast and put in 101% to what ever you do. Once you are good in what you do, money will come eventually. And, the job will find you and not you find the job". That few lines opened my mind and eyes. 

As the years goes by, I kept on thinking and thinking, and at the same time working towards my dream and goals. I am halfway towards my goals that I set, almost 10 years ago. I am working in a radio station, creating programs that I have thought off since then, and I am also doing my second passion that is creating cartoons and animations. 

We may come across many bumps and hurdles along your way but end of the day, you must learn to love and live your life to the fullest! 

I came across a video in facebook and when I saw it, it brought tears to my eyes as its words are very similar to my late fathers words... here it is... enjoy.

Monday, January 07, 2013

2012 the year of stars

Its something of a standard thing for me to do every year and that is to do a review of what I have done. Looking back at my logs, I realise that I did not write anything about 2011. Perhaps it was a crappy year for me. But again, things start to change in 2012. It has been a hectic but wonderful year.

In 2012, I manage to do things that I can only dream of last time. I have to say 2012 was the year that I achieve lots of my goals set for some time. The first quarter of the year was quite an amazing ride for me. I manage to meet my idol, the person that I can only dream of meeting ever since I was a kid. Better still, I not only met him, I manage to sit down and have a personal chat with him. He is non other than the legendary Patrick Teoh. If you would have seen me on that day, I was like a kid on Christmas morning. I was pacing all around, I could not sit still. Then he walk through the door and there he was.... the person that I listen to every single day when I was a kid. The person that I try to impersonate when doing a speech in school and in college. My idol.... is sitting in front of me having a laugh and a chat with me! 

The first quarter of 2012 did not end there. Before the shock of meeting the legendary Patrick settled down, then came someone that every guy dream of meeting. The gorgeous but down to earth Hannah Tan. 

All the while, I see her in the magazines and at events, she is like a superstar and all the attention on her. But after meeting her, I found out that she is quite a grounded person and a very humble one too. 

I get to listen live in front of me, from the legendary Zainal Abidin. Listening to him live gives me the goosebumps. Especially when he sang "Hijau". 

Ever remember about the old sang kancil cartoon that we watched on tv back in the 80s and 90s?

I managed to meet the creator of this! Being an animator and cartoonist myself. It was a dream come true to meet the Father of Animation of Malaysia, Hassan Muthalib. He was a very knowledgeable person in the movie world and at the moment, I so glad that I get to sit down and share ideas with him every week.

This year's Chinese New Year at the end of January 2012. I had a torrid time heading back. It was the first time in 2 years since the passing of my dad that we headed back to Ipoh to celebrate Chinese New Year. But I was greeted by an old friend that I have totally forgotten about. The massive jam. Its not heavy traffic! its jammed! Just imagine, I took 5 hours to go from Sungai Buloh to Sabak Bernam. By the time I reach the Tanjung Malim R&R, I could barely feel my legs already. It took me another 3 hours to reach Ipoh from Tanjung Malim. But by the time I reach my destination, I was relieved. I am back in Ipoh. Somehow it felt different since both my grandma and dad is gone... but life have to move on. 

One thing in this year is that the lack of breaks for me as there was so much to do. But I manage to squeeze in a nice holiday during March to the island of Lang Tengah. It was quite a treat as mah babe manage to get a sweet deal. At the end of the vacation, we had the whole resort to ourselves. Really awesome one. It was a good break for me and a refreshing one for me too... managed to sneak in a couple of shots of photos too.

But beside the holidays, one of the most magical moment of my live happened in 2012 too. It was the moment I proposed to tie the knot with mah babe. It was unorthodox, but the end result was great. 

Then followed by our Registration of Marriage. Although legally we are married, but my family feels that the official procedures needed to be done. So the status was dropped back to engaged. But we did have a nice meal at the ROM. and it was great!

There are also many activities revived during this year, I started swimming again, playing basketball again and most interesting of all. My radio colleagues started playing paintball again!

It was great to be able to start shooting again! 

The fun did not end there, I was interviewed in the papers for my block. My first ever news paper interview!!

and things went on better, I was chosen to be the President of BNI or Business Network International for my chapter.

My cartoon that I was doing with my friends took a step further and being featured on several other websites. We manage to squeeze out 2 episodes and it was great!

and of course this was the year that I bought a game and stuck with it for months. That is...

The great Diablo 3... 

Not to mentioned that in this year we managed to survived the "so called" apocalypse. The end of the world on the 21 of December 2012. Well it came and go and nothing happened. 

I really hope that this year, 2013 will be as eventful and exciting as what I had in 2012. 

Happy New Year!
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